If this true story touches you 1% as much as I feel it, I’d recommend getting some tissue. I have gone through plenty. Wishing You Were Here has proven to be an extremely emotional experience to live and now to revisit. It begins with diary entry from my first great love and, quite possibly, my soulmate – Leanna.

The song that inspired the title and always makes me think of Leanna – Wishing You Were Here.

Dear Diary,

He doesn’t understand at times, lately more times than not. The hectic life of work, school, and studies leaves little time or energy for our relationship. I’m an understanding person. I find myself daily saying, ‘don’t think about him so much and you won’t feel this emptiness and rejection as often.’ Why do I long for his touch so, waiting to be alone with him and have him embrace me for even just a moment?

It seems like everything else is more important than my deepest emotions. I yearn for just a sign that he still desires me and just doesn’t see me as a constant factor in his life that he has to simply deal with. I feel weak now. He controls my happiness and I hate it! I’m intelligent enough to realize we each as individuals are responsible for our happiness; however, there are never ending variables affecting that state of mind. Why does he not long for my touch?

I see trends in his behavior when he is pressured with work and studies. He focuses his energy on these challenges and  inward on himself, to push himself and excel. He seems trained, like an athlete trains for a meet, to separate his love and emotions from the game, the game of success. He works even harder at work and takes on more projects. He studies more, exercises harder and longer, fueling his ego, ensuring that he’s better than everyone else at everything.

I see him doing this and it drives me crazy because when he turns that same focus on me, he is the most amazing man I have ever known! But, he has the ability to turn off those emotions and it hurts. I’m the only who has ever mentioned our relationship may need more attention, yet I feel he is pulling away. I have felt this before, many months ago and I am scared.

I thought long and hard this afternoon about everything from my career to the type of wedding ceremony we will have. Lying by the pool felt so good—summer is still going strong here. Thinking things over made me realize that a true relationship requires work by both parties involved to make it work. I seem to be the only one contributing. Emotions are the whole of my existence, and I’ll be damn if I’m going to ignore them.

Leanna gave me this letter to reflect on when she felt like our relationship was coming unglued. That I still have it today isn’t really surprising. I discuss my mother’s suicide in Origin: Shadows and share my regret about not having saved her notes and cards. There have been so many times I wished I could go back and read the thoughts she shared with me. I suspect that is why loving and playful comments from women on my blog and love letters over the years are like spiritual treasures for me. I save them all…even the not so pleasant ones…like this one from Leanna.

Leanna’s feelings were justified. I was focused on my professional aspirations. Her assessment of my competitive drive still rings true today. It is a blessing. It is a curse. I came from very modest means and have always felt like I had to work harder and smarter to close the gap with those who I felt had a head start. Failure or settling for average results was not and is not an option. I wanted and still want to be in the arena competing and achieving. Leanna was incredibly motivated as well, and I admired that about her. I also held great respect for her intellect – such a bright young woman.

Leanna was in tune with my emotions too because I was pulling back. Emotionally, I was at the crossroads of the most important decision of my life. One road led to marriage. The other led to a life I had always dreamed about and felt an overwhelming calling to experience. Back then, this calling felt like a collage of many confusing and contrasting visions. Today, I can trim the calling down to three words – The Dionysian Experience. My blog chronicles the pursuit of this dream.

For as long as I can remember, I have imagined myself in my golden years sitting on the front porch reflecting on life’s journey. What will the old man version of me be thinking about? What will I be proud of? Did I achieve enough? Am I content? What will I regret? Is there anything I can do now to ensure he feels content and looks back on life with little regret? Standing at the crossroads with Leanna, I couldn’t escape the feeling that marriage, at that point in my life, would leave the old man with too many unanswered questions and unfulfilled dreams. The old man needed me to chase those dreams or at least fail while trying.

This calling was strong, but the thought of leaving Leanna was heartbreaking. I loved her, deeply. She was so pretty and sweet. I didn’t know if it would be possible to ever again find a love like we shared. Our love was deep and beautiful. She was also my first highly-charged, sexual relationship. There were times when we would literally stay in bed all day loving on each other and experienced a lot of firsts together. I certainly thought of her as my soulmate and felt we could have shared a beautiful life together. If I had met her even five years later, I would have been the happiest man alive.

Choosing between marrying Leanna or chasing my wild youthful dream was a weighty decision and there was no middle path. One excluded the other. Either way, I knew I would look back and wonder, what if? I struggled with this decision. It dominated my thoughts. Ultimately, I began to slowly sabotage our relationship in hopes she would dump me. I had to leave but couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her. She never gave up on me though.

I can recall our final days like it was yesterday but can’t write about it in too much depth—it still cuts deep. The heartbreak on both sides was crushing and my eyes water up even at this very moment. She didn’t deserve it and, oddly, I have a strange feeling that I didn’t deserve it. She kept asking, “Why are you doing this to us?” Doing this to “us”. That phrasing captures the sentiment. I loved her deeply and wasn’t breaking up because I didn’t love her. It was because I needed…had to experience a different life. There were things I had to explore. I didn’t know if it would be better, and I’m not even sure it mattered if it was better. I had to know. I had to leave even though it was breaking both our hearts.

The ending wasn’t clean. It was filled with a lot of ups and downs over months. When the dust settled she knew I was going to leave and we tried to find some peace. We spent one last teary-eyed, love-filled weekend together. I remember making love to her when we both knew it was going to be the last time. The tear-filled, soul gazing eyes at that moment, our trembling bodies. Damn it, tears are streaming down my face right now. I have never wanted to not cum so badly in my life because I knew the finality of that release. It was heaven and hell.

I can still see that damn door in her apartment living room and recall the exact setup of the furniture. Through watery eyes and with Leanna holding, clutching, and pulling me from behind, I made my way to the door and reached for the knob with a trembling hand. I opened it one last time. Then, I was gone. The full weight of that moment was crushing for both of us. I can hear the echo of the door closing and the sound of her falling against the door crying, “Don’t go!” On the other side, I leaned it against it…trying to soothe and feel my sweet angel one last time.

A few days later, I found a note in my suitcase from her:

“Well, you are on your way. Just take care of yourself and have fun! You have heard it before, but remember life is too short not to enjoy it, Sweetie. I love you and I want you to be happy. I had the very best time of my life when you were here with me—I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Despite the confusion, the good times were the ‘Best’ and don’t you ever forget it, Baby!

I apologize for how I acted when you decided you ‘have to leave.’ I just knew I was saying goodbye – for the last time ever, and it frightened me like nothing I have ever felt. How do I stand before you and just let the love of my life walk out the door? To know that when the door closes I will never be able to look into your eyes or feel you again, ever? Baby…please. Sweetie, don’t worry about me—just be my friend—wherever you go. And remember, no matter how lonely you are or frightened of this big ole’ world you are, there is a little girl in ***** who thinks the world of you. I will not lay my head on my pillow at night or wake up to the morning sunlight without love for you in my heart. I will miss you more than you will ever know. I will always love you!”

God, reading and transcribing this letter took forever. Even after all these years, it still breaks my heart every time I read it. I have missed her dearly…I knew I would. I don’t know if I made the right decision. There were things I needed to know. I have learned more than I even imagined, probably too much. If I stayed there is probably a 50/50 chance we would have ended up divorced, and I would have been filled with regret for not taking the other path. Or, we might be living happily ever after with a beautiful family but my dreams would be filled with wonder of the unknown. There was no right decision. Her words have carried and driven me through tough times. Whenever life got challenging, I remembered how much I sacrificed to even have that challenge. And, I knew Leanna would have crushed that challenge, so I had too!

Leanna “found me” a couple years ago and we spoke for the first time since we touched all those years ago and went our separate ways. She is now married with children. The seasons of youth have passed and a lifetime of experiences are now between us. Speaking with her was surreal. It was as if we had just said goodbye that morning and were catching up after a long, very long day apart. I let her know that I held onto our photos and letters. She couldn’t believe it, but it made her really happy. I sent her a few of them and we talked about those moments and more. It was magical. I let her know that I never stopped thinking about her and have always missed her. She talked about how she searched for years trying to find someone like me (she called me her sweet, smart, muscleman) but never did.

As we shared these special thoughts that had been bottled up for years, I don’t think either of us was trying to create a path forward. Our time had passed, and she has a family now. I think it was more about finding peace and knowing that our time genuinely meant something to each of us. We both felt it all of these years but didn’t know if it meant the same to the other. I told her that I loved her deeply and everything we experienced was real. That I have not and will never forget her. Our conversation lasted for about 5 hours and may have actually spent more time crying together than talking. We found great comfort and peace in hearing one another’s gentle, loving tones. Neither of us wanting to say goodbye…again.

68 thoughts on “Leanna: Wishing You Were Here

  1. Michael, the depth of raw emotion you have poured into this post tells it’s own story. Love experienced and then lost because of your driving need to experience everything the world has to offer, is a dual edged sword for sure. In reality, I believe you would have been more unfair to have stayed with Leanna, there was a part of you even then that would have resented the relationship, not her, but the entrapment of marriage and all that entails and you would both have suffered a great deal more pain because of it. It is a shame, but, it would have been a bigger shame to destroy that beautiful love between you because you couldn’t maintain the consistency required to keep it fuelled.
    When I read her thoughts from her diary entry, it struck me that she knew and understood you exceptionally well. You still have those same traits today as you did then, they are the core of what makes you Michael. It would have to be a very understanding woman stood at your side to accept that she would always take second place to your insatiable need to succeed at all costs.
    That is not a criticism, you are who you are, but women who love with the depth of feeling Leanna loved you want all of you, all of the time and need to be the complete focus of your attention. At the very least they need to feel like they come first.
    I feel for you both, the beautiful space you both occupied in each others lives can never be replaced with another. It will only ever be similar to, but never the same, nor should it be. What you had was precious and I am glad you at least had the opportunity to experience that full on first love that consumes every fibre of your being and is doubled because you know your partner feels the same way.
    I was thrilled to read that you and Leanna connected once more and you were able to talk as friends and share your memories. That soothes, even though it can never smooth those jagged edges, it will still sooth and dull the ache in your heart for what was.
    At some point, darling man, you might actually learn how to forgive yourself too. When we are young and bright eyed facing an unknown world full of challenges, dangers and delights we make rash decisions. We should always be just a little bit kind to ourselves when in hindsight we look back and realise the mistakes we made. They were ours to make, it’s how we learn and grow.

    1. Sweet Gem, thank you so much for sharing these kind thoughts and your encouragement🌹This period of my life…when I was looking forward and now looking back (though hopefully still a long way from end!) really works on me. What you shared is reassuring that I probably took the correct path. It is the only one I traveled though and do regret any pain I caused others along the way. I’ve tried balance the scale…especially after the “Dear Paige” phase of my life. I hope I’ve become better at not shutting down my loving vibes at times, but I’m afraid I still suffer. I mean, just last year I vanished here because of work for like nine months and this virtual space – special friends like you – touch my soul.💫 To paraphrase what you described so eloquently, we do live and learn…and hopefully we can share a few life lessons that might help others in their journey. Gem, you are helping me in my journey and I am grateful for you. Your sentiments means the world and this message you left will be one that I read many times over the years…certainly when I am on that front porch in the golden years thinking about those who touched my soul ❤️💫😘

  2. Beautifully written ❤️

    1. Thank you, really appreciate the kind feedback 💝

    1. That first emoji always confuses me, ha! I see the heart so I think that means you enjoyed it…I hope so. Thank you for stopping by 💫

  3. I think we all have that one that has our heart like no one else has. Sad but nice story sexy sir.

    1. Thank you Morgan, it is amazing how we all do share a similar life experience…only the details vary…but our human themes are eternal and infinite. I know it isn’t my usual erotic content but thanks for giving this a read 

      1. I like erotica but I enjoy reading other things too. I am not always naughty well sometimes I am

        1. Haha, sorry didn’t mean to imply that. I know you write about many deep and beautiful things in addition to beautiful, sensual erotica. 

          1. It is ok don’t worry about it. I do have quite the erotic side. It shows a lot but I can’t help it I enjoy erotica. 

  4. Oh, Michael! I’m aching for you. Come here and just let me hold you, baby. Goodness, you are so thoughtful and have delved into so much from your past to make meaning of it. That is hard work, I know. I have tears in my eyes typing this, imagining you typing with tears in your eyes. Your heart is beautiful. Big hugs, sweetheart. 

    1. Thank you, Sweetheart :-* I could use your lovin’ arms right now. This journey brings me to some fun places and also some painful moments. I knew this was going to a tough one when I began thinking her. I was just…I didn’t think I would feel this is in such a raw way. Sorry if I made you sad too but I appreciate your tenderness. While you have me in your arms and I’m all snuggled in…be careful, even tender and feeling wounded, I’m still playful and dangerous, meow…I mean roar! :-* 

      1. Oh yes, you are definitely still trouble all snuggled up. For me, something like that letter anchors my feelings in a way that when I read it I would be right back emotionally to where I was when I first read it. You don’t need to apologize. I’m used to my big feelings. It’s ok. I hope you’re feeling better now. 

        1. You are such a kindred spirit, beautiful one! I am feeling better but I’m going to stay nestled into your arms and chest for a little longer…I can’t breathe and I really like it! 

          1. LOL, go right ahead. They are definitely capable of smothering someone, hee hee.

          2. Sorry, can’t hear you…my ears are heavenly muffled 

          3. Heavenly muffled, lol. That’s ok, you don’t need to hear, just feel. 

          4. Exotic Nita


          5. Exotic Nita

            Michael.. you are so baaad.. but just as sweet as ever.. 

          6. Mmmm, naughty and nice…

  5. Exotic Nita

    Right???.. Imagine Michael typing with tears in his eyes. He is also so sensitive as well as passionate. 

    1. Thank you Nita, this is a tough memory to write about. Many of the stories I have shared standout to me because of the pleasure. Unfortunately, it is the pain and heartache that makes this one so memorable to me. But, as you know…I survived

      1. Exotic Nita

        Nothing could you do..,just hope you are lucky enough to find another love as sweet and precious as this one… 

  6. There’s one. One person in your life that no matter how long you’ve been apart, it always feels like yesterday. The pain, love, loss all rise to the surface keenly and quickly. Thank you for sharing your heart, Michael.

    1. Thank you Meg. I was spiraling through some different thoughts and it brought me to Leanna. I knew it was going to be tough when I began about writing about her. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. Your comment is so well said and true. And, thank you for sharing your heart 

      1. You’re welcome sweet man!

        1. Exotic Nita

          He’s definitely a sweet sweet man 

    2. Exotic Nita

      Right Meg, that was straight from his heart and it touches us…

  7. Lively Life

    What of the idea to try something together again?

    1. Thank you for visiting and commenting. I’m not usually quite this emotional. She is married now and has a beautiful family. I’m genuinely happy that life has been kind to her. Despite the way this post sounds, I’m very happy as well. Something about going back into these memories and our crossroads always hits me really, really hard.

      1. Lively Life

        Oh I bet. History thinkage can bring pangs and bolts of a few triple dozen feelings, can’t it! It is very special to have had that between you two! and I’m glad you are happy now and can look back at the past without getting stuck and sad. 

  8. Copper Cranes

    Michael, this is an extraordinary post and a beautiful presentation. I admire what you’ve shared, it couldn’t have been easy to do, yet you did it with such kindness and grace. I’m delighted to read that you had the opportunity to reconnect with Leanna, those are special moments, ones to hold dear. Please have a wonderful week ahead. ~ Mia 

    1. Thank you Mia So true, this was not an easy or flattering post to write. Painful stories aren’t my sweet spot. Fortunately, I was able to say a lot this to her when we spoke. It was a conversation we desperately needed to feel in our souls. And, if she ever forgets, I hope with this series (if she were to ever read it) she would have no doubt how much I cared for her and, right or wrong, at least understand why I had to go. Hope you have a wonderful week too 

      1. Copper Cranes

        You’re welcome Michael. I like to think that in telling our stories, it helps with the unresolved and unfinished business that we hold on to, and in this instance having a conversation is even better. Thank you for the nice wishes. 

    2. Exotic Nita

      So well said Mia. Extraordinary.. beautiful presentation…delightful read…. special moments.. and reconnection 

  9. Rebecca Dawn

    Reading Leanne’s letter gave us another insight into you, Michael. Your intensity and focus she wrote of reminded me of the men my favorite authors wrote about. Hmm alpha male. Sounds silly, I know. I’m a romantic. Shh don’t tell anyone! 

    1. You are still here Thank you for stopping by :-* The alpha male….ahhhh yes! I’m not sure if it is a blessing or a curse. It drew her to me but it also worked against her in the end. Hopefully, this is one journey that ends like a romantic novel. P.S. Your hopeless romantic secret is safe with me 

      1. Rebecca Dawn

        I may not be writing for awhile but I’m still here.

  10. This is beautiful Michael. there are so many layers to you and i love how you share them all with us. i had a similar encounter a few years back with a prior love and the re-connection left me doing a lot of soul searching if you will. it was quite a powerful experience and the circumstances that surrounded that re-connection are partly what have fed my desire to seek the most out of this life we’ve been given. Not so unsimilar to you and the way you hold onto the memories and keepsakes of those that have crossed your path. 

    1. Really appreciate your thoughts around this, Kristi Exploring some layers are a bit for fun than others, ha! I’m particularly drawn your thought around feeling inspired to seek the most out of life after re-connecting with a prior love. I get that. Though we don’t know what would have happened, had we chose a different path, all we can do now is our very best to make the most of what remains in our life journey. You Kristi, are a treasure and it is and has always been a pleasure to know you

  11. Carly Quinn

    Not long ago I looked up the boy I dated on and off for five years in college. He too has a lovely family now, we are not in contact. There were years I would have given anything if I could just never think of him again. After twenty years, I realized I’ve gone more than a year without him crossing my mind. I’m not sure if it makes me feel better or not.
    Lovely post. 

    1. This wasn’t exactly my hottest post ever but thanks for giving it a read. I need posts like this every now and then to keep me on track. I totally get your thoughts on your college boyfriend. It must have been an extremely powerful relationship. It starts of as constant thinking, then a few times a day, a week…fading to a couple times a month or when you hear certain songs. Then, its gone…until it hits once again from nowhere…like reading a random post. Big hug tonight, sweet dreams pretty girl :-*

      1. Carly Quinn

        First love, it was a big deal. 

  12. Hi sexy Sir Michael it is still me Morgan I had to create a new blog because the old one wouldn’t allow people to receive my replies, By the way I wrote more erotica if you should to read it. 

    1. Hi Beautiful Sorry you had to close your blog. I believe when you make it private, it turns off the reply notification feature. I will be visiting your new blog this evening with excited anticipation

      1. Thank you Sexy Sir. And I have plenty erotic pieces that are wanting to see your excitement

  13. Hey, long time no see. 
quite an insightful, moving story ^ ^ hope you’ve been well. 

  14. This is an insightful post Michael, i don’t know if ‘nice’ is the word but I think it’s nice to know that man also have such kind of emotions. Looking back and knowing how they felt about someone and being emotional about it, it’s not a weakness at all. It is just a misconception that alpha male men like you don’t have emotions and they are all cold and tough, this shows that you are human and despite how much I enjoy your sexy side, I also like reading this.
Besides it is one of my own fears, I am so career driven, my life is so busy, mixing college, work, writing, gym, and fun; it’s so hard I sometimes wonder if I would make time for another person. That’s why I kind of push dating aside.
I think I will watch the film because I have never seen it and it seems to have had such an impact on people’s lives.
It’s a lovely post this 

    1. Thank you, beautiful girl I was a little apprehensive about this post…hard to capture the emotions and internal struggle I was feeling. Plus, I have a reputation to uphold, ha! I admire your thoughts on your independence and the ability to feel fulfilled in your own life without the burning drive of “needing” a man to make you feel happy. You are wise beyond your years 

      1. Thank you Michael I was raised with a single mom. Guess I take the independence from her

  15. Interesting that this post came across my radar at a time when I’ve written a draft of a post about Romantic Love and visited your site to make sure what I’ve written was different enough from your own.
    This post about Leanna brings up a lot of emotions for me right now and perhaps this has also made me more sensitive to yours. Hard to know how your life would be different. In looking at my own, also at 19, I made the choice to stay and then we married when I was 24. Now at 41 I’m divorced with 2 kids who are now living between 2 homes.
    Having achieved career success, now I’m doing my best to figure out how to get past the concept of Romantic Love, for I’m no longer wanting to carry the Greatness nor the Blame of my lovers’ projections and no longer do I want to do that to any others. It’s a big step to make and while I feel closer than ever before, it’s still a great challenge to get to that point where I am my own friend…accepting myself now, as I am. From what I’m reading and based on experiences, I believe that is key to avoid those projections: being our own and our lover’s friend, accepting ourselves and our lover as is. I’m giving away too much of my own post, but I feel that maybe it might help you in your own recovery and understanding.
    I’m sorry for your pain, Michael. Love to you as you find peace in yourself. If I could, I’d give you a great big hug ️ ~Tiffany 

    1. No surprise that you picked up on my somewhat vague but essential thought I was ruminating over…to stay or go and how life might be different. You are right, it is hard to predict what would’ve happened had I taken a different path. Things might not have worked out with Leanna anyway. I suppose I get so emotional over this point in my life because I was leaving her at a time when we were both still in love with one another. It was a special time but there was something calling to me, and I needed to answer that call. My memories of her are forever locked in a time of youth and innocence with nothing but loving memories. I’m in no way proud of my decision…I hurt her and time would show me that I didn’t learn my lesson about protecting the hearts of future lovers. Sorry, things didn’t go the way you dreamed as lovely 19 year old woman starting on your life journey. I’m smiling thinking about you at that point in your lifeI’m just so proud of you for all you did to secure yourself professionally in what must been a chaotic period in your life. I’m sure it wasn’t easy and I genuinely admire that. I loved your post and guidance on Romantic Love. I’m a layman on these explorations but I do think you see the path now. Sure, there is a destination but it is really about finding happiness in the very spot you are in now. And, that happiness comes from within and radiates outward to touch others. Some will feel it and others won’t…but still you shine P.S. I’ll take that hug, please ignore the prominent hard sensation pressing against you down below. Then again…

      1. Michael, I felt your question because it is one I have had for myself. How would my life have been different had I not stayed. The argument within ends quickly for me when I think about my children. Yet, I see myself in pain with either choice. Ultimately it is the pain in our lives that can lead us to growth and without the pain, why would we choose to change?
        I would encourage you to be compassionate with yourself regarding your past choices with lovers. I’m confident you did the best you could do with what you were dealing with at the time. Our best can differ Day by day. On some level, the pain of a lost love can lead to transformation or stagnation. It is each person’s choice to make…this is as much true for you as it is for your former lovers.
        I’d like to say more and will stop for now.
        And I wouldn’t be able to ignore anything pressing into me with a hug

        1. Thank you Tiffany Really, thanks so much for what you have shared…it means a lot. You are always so supportive, nurturing, and encouraging. Speaking of which, perhaps I could encourage you to do a little nurturing with that pressure you are feeling below Hope you are having a great weekend, Sexy! 

          1. Yes, that would be very sexy! I would quite enjoy spreading some of my nurturing your way. These thoughts are causing quite a bit of warmth for me this day 

          2. Mmmm, I do believe you set me on a course of hot daydreams ALL day and made me delightfully worthless for the rest of the day! Thank you for that

          3. I’m not sure if I should say you’re welcome or I’m sorry 

  16. How am I just now seeing this?!
    Oh Michael…
    Truely a touching story. We all have that 1 person we connect with on a level nobody else can.
    Don’t regret the decisions you made. You took the road less traveled. Most of us have. I pray your heart heals. 

    1. Awww, thank you VegasThis one opened up some old wounds as I dug around in the memory box. It was helpful though and I’m feeling better. I think we all walk a similar journey and wonder “what if” as we look back on life’s crossroads.I’m feeling better now and appreciate your kind words

      1. It happens. Our long term memory likes to remind us of painful memories, but it’s therapeutic to us in how we deal with them. I’m glad you had a little soul searching. It helps healing. 

  17. Exotic Nita

    I seem to get lost in your stories. Everytime..
I was getting so emotional reading your lost love ..
    and reading her deep inner thoughts about you..
    she loves you..
    and I’m not surprised that you loved her back.. you are that passionate…
    And your emotions ran deep..
I can relate to your feelings of Still loving her even after all this time….
    and I can understand the emotions and the tears with her memories..
    I have such a. Love of my life…
    can’t get rid of the love I felt for him. And just the thought of him bring tears .. and replace with a smile Thinking. We had it all.. for just a moment…
I’m becoming so hooked with your stories..
    they move me in every direction and touch my very soul…
I love hold you hold me with every word you write.. 

    1. As an aspiring writer, this means the world. Thanks so much for your encouragement

      1. Exotic Nita

        How I wish I have the way with words as you do.. and able to put together to tell a story so eloquently
Keep on writing and expressing your emotions with your passionate experiences..
And keep me delightfully entertained.. 

  18. This story just got me teary-eyed. Sometimes it’s the inner calling within us that makes us question, “What exactly is our purpose here on Earth?” It’s reasonable and understandable at your age to pursue a different direction. It seems she expected marriage, do you propose to her ? I suppose in life, there are no time for regrets am I right ? 

    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment and reaction to this story. It was a tough one to write and it felt surprisingly strong to revisit the keepsakes and memories of our time. Healing in a way. She did want marriage. Had I stayed, I would have regretted missing the life I felt I needed to live. Having now lived many of the things I wanted to, I know I did the right thing. Still, I think about that period in my life when the world was young and so much was unknown. I suppose that is a period we can all connect to. Thank you for giving this special memory a read

      1. Once upon a time everyone was young, during that phase I believe our hopes and dreams existed. Yet sometimes we are still young at heart, still searching for happiness, the passion at heart. It’s the curiousity that kills you, at least it did me. 

        1. Lavender, you are sexy and wise.To remain young at heart and keeping our dreams greater than our memories is a worthy journey. As for curiosity, so sorry I hope spring finds you once again in full bloom

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