If I were to try and capture the essence of my blog, I would say it is a love story. Not so much about me and one lover but more about my love for women and the deep, soulful connections I have been blessed to share with them over the years. Roses Never Fade is an ongoing series where I will revisit these special angels to try and catch glimpses of the shimmering magic we once shared. As time allows, I will share some of my most memorable experiences with these special ladies who touched my soul. Many of these will be quite naughty but, as always, love comes first…as well as my girl.
While I have had some truly hedonistic experiences, the very best experiences were always with women I loved. Carley was one of those women, and she holds a particularly special place in my memories. Our love was passionate and intense…that feeling you have when you can’t believe it is possible for two people to have ever been so deeply in love. She made me feel the full archetypal energy of Romantic Love. As I look back now, as a wiser man, I realize she wasn’t the first woman to make me feel this way, but this realization in no way diminishes the impact she played on my life.
I experienced my first case of romantic love with my high school girlfriend of two years. I felt it again several years later with Leanna. After my breakup with Leanna, I went through a couple of different phases where love was the last thing on my mind. My first phase was the full on pursuit and seduction of women – the thrill of the chase was my passion. Despite becoming rather adept in the realm of seduction, chasing women without love as the destination became something I came to view as a complete waste of time.
This perspective led me into my next phase of life which involved the complete dedication to getting my professional life on track. Sure, I still had desires and occasionally got laid, but women basically had to serve it up hot and put it right in my face for me to notice. After landing a job that made me feel like I had truly succeeded in achieving a hard-fought professional milestone, I remained dialed in on my career and repressed my sensual pursuits. That is, until I met Carley.
Carley changed everything and once again made me appreciate the value of intimacy and sensuality in my life. While I won’t go into the meaning of it here, Carley reconnected me with my long-repressed Dionysian energy. Even though I didn’t do a great job capturing details of our time together in my personal journal, she left powerful memories painted in broad vibrant strokes that still linger.
In Shadow – A Mother’s Suicide, I mention how that experience has led to me holding onto love letters over the years. Here are a few cards from Carley and the messages she added which beautifully express the magical energy swirling around us. I cherish them to this day.
My Heart Runneth Over
Words cannot express how deep my love is for you. Each day you amaze me with your kind words, sincere gestures, and the dreams we share about our future. Finally, I feel so blessed to be adored by someone who is even more so adoring. You have me hanging onto your every word, touch, and kiss. I know we have to believe we’ll get our chance to test our fate. Believe me…I dream of that day in the not too distant future. Michael, you are so much more than my everything. You are my ideal soul-mate for life! I cannot express enough to you how you make me feel inside by the things you do and say and the way you are always strong for me. My life will not be complete until we can share 75 years together as husband and wife and for you to feel each and every day that your heart runneth over with my love. Baby, make me the proudest woman in the world and love me even half the amount I love you. I wish I was with you in person today and everyday, but know I am with you. Look inside your heart, and that’s where you’ll find me today and forever. Thinking of you today and everyday! xoxo
Today is a time for me to celebrate you and everything your love means to me. You have given me so much…you have a way of making me feel so good about myself and you’re always right there when I need support or encouragement. The times we have shared together are the happiest of my life…and as I think back on them, I realize even more how special the word “love” really is. I celebrate you — the wonderful man whose love has made my life richer…who makes every day special.
It seemed like forever that I longed for a soul mate, hiding a secret ache in my heart that was never satisfied… I can remember staring out at quiet star-filled nights, whispering prayers that someday, somewhere, I would find that one special person who was meant for me. I imagined us laughing at silly things, sharing tears over sad things… We would lapse into comfortable silences as we read each others thoughts. We would love each other passionately and totally, heart to heart and soul to soul. I waited and dreamed and dreamed and waited. After a while, I began to think my dream was exactly that – only a dream. Then, my love…I met you!
Looking back at my life, I can honestly say I never knew what love was until you came into my life. You are truly an angel in disguise. I love you with all my heart and soul and with everything I am. I thank you for loving me so intensely and showing me in so many ways with each passing day. Michael – I love you more than words can describe! Always!
Made for Loving You
It’s as if you and I were lovers in another time and place and all of our lives have been but preparation for this reunion. It’s as if no two have ever loved the way we do, as if your lips were made for mine and my hands were meant to touch only you. With all of my breath and body, mind and soul – I’m so in love with you.
I wanted to send you a copy of photos from our fairy tale trip to Mexico. Thanks for treating me like your precious princess. You’ll be forever my Prince Charming. Waiting impatiently for our next time together. I love you with everything I am! Always xoxo
Forms of Love
Today, I want to say thanks for all the kinds of love you give me. Thanks for the friendly love…the smile across a room, the touch of your hand in mine. Thanks for the caring love…the love that gets me through, the love that shares, the love that helps. Thanks for the passionate love…the love that lets hours pass like minutes, the love that blocks out the world, the love felt in a lingering embrace.
We share so many kinds of love…simple words cannot describe. I cherish each and every one of them. How we found each other after all these years and how our path crossed still gives me goose bumps. I dream we will always be this happy and given the opportunity to stand the test of time. I fantasize constantly about us living out our storybook romance and growing old together. You are truly my Prince. I love you with everything I am and with everything I want to be for you. ❤️Your lover and best friend ❤️ xoxo
By Your Side
The Card (featured two dolphins swimming close together in the ocean):
Lovers, but most of all friends…sharing with each other whatever life brings. Our love…deep, warm, and sweet.
Baby, I saw this card and it made me think of us…especially after coming back from Jamaica and just “living”. There’s nothing in this world I’d rather be doing than just tooling around together. I look forward to our future no matter what it brings – quiet peaceful nights or days that never seem to end. I’m ready for whatever is in store for us and can’t wait to get started. Missing you by my side everyday and loving you from a distance. Always.
Fire Down Below
The previous love notes were beautiful, dreamy, and romantic, but we also had plenty of kink flowing through our sex life. The note below was sent in advance of a seven-day trip to Mexico where we were joining a couple and a group of select friends on their honeymoon. The blushing bride was going to get a lot of cock on her honeymoon…and not just her husband’s.
Baby, I’m so looking forward to fucking your brains out for seven days and so is everyone else! See you soon my Prince and love you forever! xoxo
- If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Annalise – Roses Never Fade