The Cuckold Corner is a ongoing series devoted to discussions with others who are curious about the sexual kink known as cuckolding. My goal is to help them (and others) think through the fantasy, uncover their erotic hot buttons, and share my own personal experience with this increasingly popular kink. In this edition, I speak with Amanda who is a single, 30-something woman interested in learning more about cuckolding.
Cuckold Corner: Amanda and the Black Mystique
Michael – I noticed it was a digital art piece featuring a black man and white woman that first caught your attention on my blog. Do you think it is interracial sex or cuckolding that most captures your imagination?
Amanda – It seems like they both go hand in hand these days, and I’m kind of curious about both together. I can understand why a woman might enjoy cuckolding – she gets to have sex with other men and that could be exciting. But, I don’t quite understand why some men get excited thinking of their wife or girlfriend being taken by other men in general and black men in particular.
Michael – Cuckolding does seem does seem like irrational male behavior but that is the nature of kinks. I can’t answer “why” in one or two lines because it is far too complex and varies from person to person. However, I have written extensively about the psychology of cuckolding and these posts provide a nice foundation. (You can find those posts here: Cuckold Psychology: The Essentials.
Amanda – I’ve read your writings but want to understand this better. I find you intriguing and want you to be my teacher.
Michael – You are very kind, thank you. This is a big topic and we need to break this down one layer at a time. Let’s begin with the interracial allure – the black mystique – you seem to have. Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about sex with black men?
Amanda – Yes, I do. I find black men very attractive. Maybe it’s a natural response for a woman to be attracted to muscular black men?
Michael – What do you mean by “a natural response”?
Amanda – We all know the rumors about black men being large and, while we may not act on it, most of us are curious. They just seem to have an aura of sexuality around them too. Maybe it’s the sexual confidence that comes with having a large cock?
🔍This is one of several insights Amanda will make regarding the sexual mystique of black men – the positive sexual stereotype of black men being more endowed and perhaps better in bed. True or not, personal desire or not, it is hard to deny that this perception exists in popular culture and is enticing for “some” women.
Michael – Can you dig a little deeper and tell me more about this desire for black men that you and your friends seem to share but are hesitant to act on?
Amanda – I don’t know why this attraction exists for many of us, but it’s there.
Amanda – Maybe it is something in our genes that attracts us to idea of a physically superior man? What I do know is that I find myself thinking more and more about what it would be like to be with a man that has a giant cock and balls. In my fantasies, these men are always black. I’m sure there are well-endowed white men out there too so I don’t know why my fantasy always involves a black man. It must be something more…maybe an old taboo that this kink taps into?
Michael – I agree that there may still be taboo aspects of interracial sex in play for “some” cuckold couples and for the black men that enjoy this type of sexual play. I don’t think they personally believe it is wrong. Rather, they like it because parts of our society may still see it as wrong. These kinksters are having a great time and building intimate friendships while, at the same time, thumbing their nose at anyone who believes this type of sexual expression is wrong.
Amanda – You are giving this a lot of thought. I like that about your writings. Your mind fascinates me and makes me have such crazy thoughts!
Michael – Mmmm, I like to inspire your wild, naughty thoughts and find you fascinating as well. So, I’m sure you’ve had opportunities to be with black men, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve acted on them?
Amanda – I’ve had offers but haven’t…yet. Let me tell you, in my experience black men, in general, come across as more direct. They don’t want to play games or have romantic hangups. If they want to fuck you, you are going to know it. Personally, I like that…it makes me feel desired and sexy.
🔍 Amanda’s perspective may or may not be generalizable to the larger population. However, it does fall in line with the notion of the black mystique – the positive perception of black men having a more alluring sexual presence. There is a another layer to her thoughts that I also want to mention. We have well established (eroding as it may be) traditions in our culture about how men are supposed to behave as a “gentleman” towards a “lady”. It is a sign of respect and admiration. The concept of a woman who prefers to be approached in a direct way about sex isn’t something well ingrained in the mind of men that may still be trying to adhere to what remains of chivalry and Puritan ideals. And, for some men, behaving in a non-gentlemanly manner is not something they personally find desirable. These men may want a woman that somewhat aspires to being a “lady” and not so blatantly sexual. I explore the psychology of chivalry on our relationships in Courtly Love.
Michael – You seem very sexy, and I’m not surprised you’ve had plenty of opportunities to indulge your secret desire. When you are hit on in this way, how does it play out for you? Can you share an example?
Amanda – I’ve had several friends (black men) send me photos of their cocks. I have always been curious but never asked them. The guys were all very sexy with great bodies…and they did have very large cocks – I was shocked! It was interesting to have these different men send me similar photos and for all of them to be larger than any cock I have ever experienced before. It sort of validated my thoughts.
Michael – That was a pretty assertive move on their part. I guess this gets to the point you made earlier about their directness. As you were looking at photos, how did you feel? Did you find yourself getting aroused?
Amanda – Yes, it was very exciting! I guess I’d been a little flirty so maybe it made them even more forward with me. I’m really not interested in casual sex, but I did like looking at the pics. It sort of added more fuel to the fire, you know?
Amanda – What about you as a cuckold? Does it excite you to see a large cock?
Michael – I don’t consider myself bi-sexual so looking at men in isolation doesn’t arouse me. What does excite me though is how it sets the stage for cuckold play and erotic humiliation. I imagine my lover being excited by the sight of a large cock, how much she would enjoy feeling that larger cock inside her, and the contrast she would feel compared to my smaller cock. I find all of that super arousing.
Amanda – Oh, I’m glad you brought cuckolding into the discussion. I have so many questions! Cuckolding feels like such a sexy kink to me, but I doubt I could do it to a man in real life.
Michael – Interesting that you say couldn’t do it “to” a man. Your man (if he is into it) will like it as much and possibly even more than you do. While you might enjoy having sex with another man, he will view this as you doing it “for” him” or “with” him and satisfying his greatest fantasy, not “to” him.
At this point in our discussion we pivot away from the black mystique to focus more specifically on cuckolding. My discussion with Amanda spans several sessions and include topics such as small penis teasing, cuckolding, Femdom, erotic humiliation, exhibitionism, and wife breeding. When posted, you will be able to find those interviews and more in the Cuckold Corner index.