Cuckolding (being aroused by my lover having sex with another man) is my favorite sexual fantasy, but it’s a tough fantasy to get my mind around. Society at large seems to find it objectionable, and I have sometimes felt ashamed for harboring such desires of the woman I love. It is an emotionally challenging fantasy because I also crave sensual, romantic, and deeply loving relationships. Given my romantic desires, why does the thought of another man treating my lover like his personal fuck doll excite me so much?
I explore this question of “why” in an ongoing series called Cuckold Psychology. In this series, I dig deeper into the underlying psychological drivers of cuckolding and the different ways men and women experience this fantasy. Ultimately, I hope to emerge with a deeper understanding of my own sexual desires and provide some thought provoking ideas for others to consider.
My first post in this series, Cuckolding – A Brief Introduction, helped me appreciate the surprising popularity of cuckolding. I also developed and proposed what I believe is a somewhat universal definition of cuckolding. Cuckolding, in its purest form, has three essential ingredients:
- A couple that is emotionally committed to one another
- The cuckold’s lover is having sex with another man or men
- This arrangement is exciting for the couple
Beyond this core definition, the fantasy explodes wildly into many different kinks and often becomes a fetish within a fetish. For example, interracial sex frequently appears in cuckold fantasies but doesn’t have to be present in order for a man to be cuckolded. Therefore, it isn’t part of the core definition. Another variation include small penis humiliation or erotic humiliation in general. Again, cuckolding can and does exists without this element and, therefore, not part of the core definition. That said, interracial sex, male chastity, and small penis humiliation are popular variations of the cuckold experience – I’ll explore both in the future.
Cuckolding is a dangerous game involving jealousy and divine ecstasy, shame and gratitude, control and submission, lust and trust, pride and humiliation, etc. You can imagine almost any two contrasting adjectives to describe the emotional highs and lows of being “in love” and the range of those emotions is experienced in the cuckolding. Cuckolding is an intense, mind-bending mind fuck.
I held this fantasy for many years before I felt confident I could mentally master my emotional reaction to the experience and use it as a way to enhance my relationships through naughty sexual adventures. I can think back to high school and remember masturbating while thinking about other guys fucking my girlfriend. Invariably, as soon as I came, the idea made me feel sick. I understood what was going on inside me. It was hot to think about the fantasy, but I feared that if I actually experienced it, I would be jealous and angry with her.
You may be feeling this now as you think about cuckolding. I knew if I couldn’t mentally master my emotional reaction, real-life cuckolding would have the potential to destroy my relationships. This fantasy, like all other fantasies, can be relentless in its demands. After an incredibly intense orgasm, it would take a couple days or even weeks before the thought began to arouse me again, but it always came back and it often came back even stronger.
There are dozens of potential starting points for exploring psychology of cuckolding, but I’d like to start by considering the importance of mind play – the mind fuck. I start here because one of the first reactions people have to cuckolding is that the arrangement doesn’t seem fair for the cuckold. They don’t understand what the cuckold gets out of it. This reaction is driven by the faulty assumption that the only way to experience sexual pleasure is through physical contact. This is not the case for cuckolds. I learned this truth by doing some live, hands on research with cuckold couples.
It Takes One To Know One
Adult dating sites are full of couples looking for another man to join them in their sexy adventure. As you might imagine, there is also an abundance of men lining up to fulfill this unmet need. I know this because there was a time when I fulfilled this desire for couples. In American Gigolo: Rise I describe my first encounter with a couple and how that experience soon launched me into another realm of sexual intrigue and exploration as a “Bull”. In a world where willing men are a dime a dozen, I achieved some modest notoriety as a “preferred male” in relatively high demand by couples.
Why were cuckold couples drawn to me? I can only speculate but believe my profile clearly communicated my understanding of cuckold play. These couples wanted a man that understood and respected their boundaries and one with the sexual savvy to play the role of Bull or Alpha with conviction. Being a good Alpha requires much more than seducing and sexually pleasing another man’s wife or girlfriend. It requires a strong mind game…and, of course, knowing your way around a woman’s body.
Many men wanting to play with couples believe their cock is the most desired attribute. While this may be a factor, the erotic mind is the most desired sexual organ. If you can capture and engage a woman’s mind, her body will follow. There is typically a lot of mind play going on between a hotwife/cuckoldress and cuckold, and the Bull has to enhance that dynamic. The Bull needs to be able to fuck the hotwife/girlfriend well and mind-fuck the cuckold. If the experience isn’t exciting for the hotwife AND the cuckold, there won’t be a repeat performance.
Serving as a Bull for other couples afforded me with a unique opportunity to observe cuckolding up close but from a safe emotional distance. It felt emotionally safe because it wasn’t my lover that was being fucked by another man. I was able to see how real cuckold couples experience the fantasy and learn from them. Fucking another man’s wife while the husband watches is an incredible experience. Yet, I knew there was an even more intense rush to be experienced. I wanted to feel the full intensity of the mind-fuck when watching another man spread my own lover’s legs.
Engaging The Mind
Through personal experience and research, I have come to appreciate cuckolding as a fetish of choice for men that are more cerebrally inclined – thinker personalities. I’m not saying cuckolds are more intelligent, but I am suggesting their mind is heavily engaged in their sexual experience—before, during, and after. A cuckold doesn’t often receive tactile stimulation in the moment. Instead, he is being sexually stimulated by a mind fuck of the highest order.
The underlying driver for this mental stimulation may come from one or many intermingled sources: sexual competition (Sperm Wars), voyeurism, lover experiencing the fuck doll fantasy, Femdom (FLR), erotic humiliation, inversion, compersion, exhibitionism, masochism, and more. I have or will dig deeper into many of these sources of stimulation in future posts but would like to touch on psychological masochism given today’s focus on mind play.
Those of us here in the sexually adventurous shadows of society are familiar with the S (sadism) and M (masochism) in BDSM. We know some people are turned on by whips, chains, spankings, and giving/receiving physical pain in order to elicit sexual arousal or emotional satisfaction. Similarly, a cuckold can become intensely aroused by the mental/emotional pain of watching or knowing his lover is with another man. In fact, sexual psychologists often view cuckolding as a form of psychological masochism. Think about it a little deeper. A cuckold gets off anticipating and watching his lover with her legs spread wide and her moans of ecstasy as another man plows her pussy and pumps his sperm inside her. The cuckold is taking an emotional and mental spanking…and this is erotic wild fire for the cuck.
Another popular kink that engages the mind is D/s. Most of us are familiar with a submissive woman describing the erotic rush she experiences when sinking into her subspace. This sensation is intensified by the degree to which she experiences inversion. If she is typically a strong woman (mentally, emotionally, and/or physically), her sense of self becomes inverted when she enters a sexually submissive state. The same is true of a man that lives his life as a competitive alpha-male but enjoys when his lover cuckolds him with a more endowed, sexually capable man. The inversion of our “normal” status cranks up our erotic rush. While inversion isn’t for everyone, there are those among us (myself included) that find it to be a highly erotic form of sexual play because it engages the mind and creates a disorienting erotic rush.
Merging of the Minds
When it comes to sexual mind play, the erotic layers of domination and submission often take center stage. Cuckolding presents a unique challenge within this dynamic, but it is one we can successfully navigate. The primary challenge is that most men with this fantasy often visualize it through the lens of male submission. At the same time, the majority of women who enjoy mind play (which might include being shared with other men) often want to experience it through their own submission. We end up with a couple with both partners on the submissive side of the power exchange scale.
Through my personal experience in the lifestyle and research, I believe cuckolds are in far more control of the situation than it often appears. We see this in amateur content shared by real-life cuckold couples. The cuckold is often moving around the room taking photos and video. He is like a movie director in control of the naughty scene playing out before his eyes and his lover is the leading lady. Behind the scenes, the primary couple is discussing what they want to experience and their fantasies. They are the ones that love one another and have built or are building a life together.
The cuck is rarely being dominated by the Bull or his lover (unless that is what the cuck wants to experience). This stands in stark contrast to the submissive male/dominant female (FemDom, Domme) scenario most often portrayed as cuckolding by the porn industry. I will explore the differences between the two fantasies in Cuckold vs. FemDom.
One of the women that eventually cuckolded me was a beautiful, sensual girl named Sienna. Our journey into cuckolding presented me with a submissive woman dilemma. My desire was to be cuckolded, and Sienna’s desire was to be submissive. She was open to cuckolding me but saw it as an act of submission to my desires. She explains how this worked in her mind in the post Cuckolding – A Submissive Woman’s Perspective. In real life both partners have sexual desires and fantasies – it isn’t all about the cuckold’s desire. If we are flexible and attentive to one another’s desires, we may indeed get to experience our greatest fantasy.
Communication – Engage The Mind
Open communication is important in any relationship, and it is essential when discussing the possibility of introducing another man into your bedroom. If we are fortunate enough to have a lover that is sexually adventurous, open communication gives us an opportunity to share our desires and potentially merge our sexual fantasies into a unique experience as a couple. A woman may engage with the fantasy at first but only want it to remain in the fantasy realm. However, at some point, a couple may be ready to take it to next level. When this happens, communication takes on a heightened level of importance.
Once a couple has decided to make the transition from cuckold fantasy to reality, the female partner (hotwife/cuckoldress) must remember the importance of mental stimulation for her cuck. This comes from open and transparent communication leading up to the cuckold experience, during if possible, and especially in the afterglow. When a play date with another man is set in motion, the woman will experience the thrilling rush of being pursued by another man and the anticipation of physical pleasure, and the pleasure she will experience when she finally sleeps with this new man.
It is very different for us a cuckolds. We aren’t building towards an experience filled with our own physical ecstasy or the excited rush of being pursued by a new lover. No, our excitement is driven by his our lover’s excitement and the pleasure we hope she experiences with another man. The cuckold’s pleasure comes from this mind fuck, and this can only happen with open, inclusive communication from our lover as she describes her feelings and anticipation of having another man inside her or when sharing and reflecting on that experience. This type of communication fuels the cuckold’s mind fuck, increases our passion and desire for increased intimacy with our girl, and ultimately our emotional commitment within their relationship. It is an erotic ring of fire that burns so hot and bright.
In a healthy relationship, the cuckold play can add to the relationship and is ultimately about the couple’s erotic journey. I hope you found this second foray into cuckolding to be both educational and…mentally stimulating.
Additional Reading:
- Cuckold Psychology: The Essentials – Links and brief descriptions to a series of posts exploring the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy
- Sensual Shadows – Brief description and links to my loving, erotic journey with Sienna (includes cuckolding)
- Cuckold Corner: The Interviews – Cuckold Corner is an ongoing series of interviews with men and women who enjoy/fantasize about cuckolding. This index provides links to and brief descriptions about the different interviews
So well written and informative. My husband shares a similar fantasy. Once I said the thought of doing this turned me on, it is amazing how passionate our love making has become again.
Kaylan, I’m so sorry I missed this comment. I really appreciate you taking a moment to share your thoughts on cuckolding. I can so appreciate and imagine how the passion returned to your relationship after you shared this with your husband. Whenever a lover tells me this form of sexual play excites her, it makes me so crazy hot for her! 🔥It is so odd but nothing makes me want her more than knowing she is open to being with another man. I explore this in a post called Sperm Wars which is on my main blog at Cream of the Planet (where this post links to). Hope your summer is going well ~ Michael
Cuckolding can certainly enhance a good marriage.
Christina
I’m curious if you have fulfilled your husbands fantasy of cuckolding yet? Was it worth it? Did you enjoy it? Was it what you both expected/wanted?
Her comment isn’t linked to a Gravatar or WordPress so I don’t think she will ever see these questions. It would have been great to know the answers!
[…] Cuckold: Mind Bender – This posts explores the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy and the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold’s erotic pleasure. For some, there may also be a level of sadomasochism (the SM in BDSM) at play. This post explores the cuckold’s intense arousal coming from the emotional and mental burn of watching his lover with another man. […]
Gasp! wow……………
This was indeed very enlightening. It’s nothing I’ve ever want to try but it’s fascinating to read about.
Totally understand your reaction to this but glad you found it interesting. It is interesting though what a woman is willing to explore when swept away and intoxicated with passion and love. I’ll leave it at that…you know the stories are coming. 🙂
Looking forward to them xx
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Michael, Thank you for your in-depth review of cuckolding from multiple perspectives. This is a subject that fascinates me and I’ve certainly had fantasies about it, even before seeing your initial post. While I can experience this in my mind, many things come up for me when I see myself in this situation in reality. So it is interesting to read your own process of working through some of those finer details, conquering your own fears head on (pun intended in several layers).
Though not mentioned outright, I would also imagine that there is also a sense of ownership with reclaiming your woman after she has been gloriously fucked by another man with a larger cock. Knowing that even with the gift she has received from him, ultimately you, she is leaving with you, even if your cock size is not as large… Despite your relative “inadequacies,” she chooses you and to give of herself to fulfill your desires. That takes a strong relationship and a strong woman to do. For me, fear of rejection/abadonment and the vulnerability of spreading my legs wide for another man (and to some degree any man), also rise to the surface.
Thank you for sharing! You’ve given me many things to think about. Love, Tiffany
P.S. Hmm, Range Rover?! You’re teasing me!
Oh Tiffany, you are certainly touching some arousing places with these comments and also sharing some fascinating aspects from a woman’s perspective. There is so much I wanted to keep adding to this post. it was hard to stay in one lane and try to expand on one theme at a time. I totally connect with struggle around fantasy and actuality. Your mention of reclaiming is probably the keystone moment in this sexual adventure as a couple for both the man and his lover. In fact, I have a whole post coming up that centers around this. Larger cock and inadequacies…damn, pushing more hot buttons. 😉 This does take a strong deeply connected relationship and a strong woman. Despite the characterization of cuckolds in fantasy, in reality there are many who are strong alpha males and cuckolding reflects their self-confidence and trust in their lover. I can also appreciate your fears and vulnerability as well. I believe that in a healthy relationship, there is a lot of communication, discussing boundaries, and validation of arousal as it adds to the relationship. I can’t speak for all men, but I can assure you that my lover would have no concern about damaging the relationship. It would quickly be washed away in reclaiming and the afterglow. Thanks for the super-engaging comment. :-* As for the Rover, thought might tickle a fancee. 🙂
Michael, whatever words I had to share were lost in the layers and folds of your last sentence. Tease! ❤️ Tiffany
True, it takes a lot of courage to let your spouse have sex with other men. My husband is almost always an alpha man, but in cuckolding he sets himself free. He doesn’t have to be in charge of anything.
This is so thoughtful and informative. When you wrote about fantasizing but hating it as soon as you came, I could definitely relate. I have some fantasies like that. I wonder if this goes other ways- a woman watching her man with another woman. Is that called something else? I wonder if the mental aspects are similar.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Thanks for checking this one out, Aurora 🙂 I was nervous to post this one…feels like a confession, ha! Getting comfortable with this fantasy took some time and sounds like you have had a similar experience. I imagine many of us go through this as we get into our wilder fantasies. I have come across women writing about this from the perspective of watching their man with another woman. I’m not sure if it called the same thing but I believe the same definition and essence I described would remain relevant. It has to be about the couple and their fun together. If the underlying drivers are different, it may be a different fantasy/fetish.
That’s sweet that you were nervous.
I guess this is different than being a third in a 3-some with an established couple. But maybe some aspects are similar.
Aurora, it is as different as night and day. Fucking another man’s wife is one thing. Watching another fucking the woman you love and want to spend your life with…making her scream and cum…is a whole different experience. The mental and emotional burn is intense but sooo incredibly hot! 😉
Oh, yes, I’m certain of that. I meant, I wonder if there is a whole different thing going on when someone is invited to be a partner for a threesome with an established couple. Because the third might fuck both of them…and then, I wonder if the other half of the couple goes through the same emotional burn. It’s probably different, at least in the aspect of being humiliated or something…esp if the third is another woman…There is no cock size issues or anything. I don’t know…
I’m confused but that’s okay… I will share more on this topic to tie things together and perhaps better differentiate cuckolding from threesomes and lifestyle couples (swapping and open relationships).
I’m talking about a 3-some where it’s a hetero couple with another woman and that woman fucks both of them. It’s not quite cuckolding. I’ve just never thought of what that couple might have been thinking… I have no experience being the couple part of things like that… KWIM?
Did a little research to your question about it going the other way. Turns out the woman is called a “cuckquean”. Sexual psychologist place this fantasy/fetish within BDSM for submissive women. I am a wiser man thanks to you. 🙂
Awesome! Sex research is the most fun kind! 🙂
i have so many thoughts after reading this. first, seeing the images and knowing the parties involved made this extremely smoldering. i can’t wait to read in the future the details of this particular connection. 🙂
second, i find myself nodding my head in agreement with you about the amount of communication it takes to come out the other side of an event like this still being connected with your partner. having had the opportunity to dip my toes into these waters with my husband and at the time thinking we had covered ourselves with sharing with one another what this meant for each of us. why it turned us on, and so much more to find out that what he thought he felt and would be okay with he wasn’t… was hard to learn. and yet, here i am still giving him a free pass if you will to go out and pursue away if he ever wanted too. i’m a husbands fucking dream except to my husband. lol
i’m getting totally off track with my response. anyway, the couple instances we had where someone else was involved were all very intense for me. i loved being able to watch him pleasure another woman and i loved the times when he was there and watching me be pleasured by another man. to be able to make eye contact with him while that was going on and knowing the heights he was able to take me too and that someone else was getting to experience that too was amazing. but it was really the bonding afterwards that was the best. when it was just the two of us left and we reconnected afterwards, claiming one another physically and emotionally. i loved it and i think you are probably onto something that it is more to do with being a mental turn on than a physical one. being able to share the experience afterwards and have the dialogue with one another was as much part of the reclaiming process for me as was him taking me physically.
this was really a great write Michael and your ability to share your feelings on the subject is inspiring.
Sexy Kristi :-* Glad the images sparked some of the history and I will be writing about it. 😉 You ARE a husband’s dream, that’s for sure. I was never able to read about that journey you were building up too…the grand finale. I hope you saved some of those posts and will share them again…would love to savor the details of your hot adventure. Sorry, there was some struggle afterwards. I loved how you shared being connected with him in the moment…looking at him as another man is taking you…that eye contact is so important. You’ve mentioned the reclaiming before and it is such an erotically intense moment…hot, hot, hot!!! You know, you and your husband may have been more in a swapping scenario…but I can see a lot of overlap and commonalities depending on how it was experienced in terms of mental play. Regardless, you had the erotic buildup, fucked another man while he watched, and experienced the reclaiming. I do hope you’ll sure some of the fun! 🙂
i can share with you privately what i wrote about it although it was more to do with the build up than any of the actual acts that happened.
it was definitely a learning experience for me that is for sure. i don’t know if there is a female equivalent for cuckold but i realized i very much enjoyed watching my husband with another woman. there was something about seeing him in ways i never had before and then asking him to describe to me afterwards how it felt that was so erotic and arousing for me. unfortunately in the end it didn’t have the same mental stimulation for him as it did for me. one never knows until they try though and at least he gave it a go.
I did a little more research on this and it does seem there is a female equivalent of the cuckold. In this fantasy/fetish, the woman is called a “cuckquean”. Sexual psychologists place this within BDSM and associate it with submissive females. As for your experience, it is so hot to read about what you were feeling and your thirst for details from your husband. This really reinforces a key point from this post. The person receiving the physical pleasure can’t just absorb it and be off to other things. The cuckold or cuckquean needs to the details and communication that connects them to the experience and ultimately to their lover through this mental stimulation. If time isn’t taken for this, it becomes a disconnected experience for the cuckold and the couple and doesn’t enhance the relationship. This isn’t a fantasy for someone that doesn’t want to go deep mentally.
So you know i had to go read up for myself. i think i can safely say that i am a cuckquean, although i’m not sure most of the associated factors apply to me. like humiliation for instance, i’ve never once thought the experience of seeing him with another woman, thinking about him being with another woman or having another woman want to be with him as humiliating.
maybe my brain doesn’t work like most people but there is a feeling of pride for me in it. like when your kid gets moved from 2nd chair to 1st chair in orchestra. proud mama moment. it’s seriously like that. husband fucks another woman. tap that ass, high five, proud wife. lol
then of course the ultimate prize in all of it is like you’ve said which is the communication afterwards. i want to share in the celebration so to speak. 🙂
I did the same Kristi. Had to go read up on it just now in fact. Yes, it fits. How bizarre is that? I never would have associated this concept as a desire for me but there it is.
I was going to explain more here and agree with you on a few points, including the humiliation aspect but I think I’m going to just write a post on this now as there has actually been quite a bit revealed for me through this.
Michael proves the enlightening mentor as always. 😊
I’ve been meaning to come and check your blog out and this is the push I need. Can’t wait to see your mind takes you with this one. And yes, Michael is quite the teacher isn’t he. 😉
Can’t wait to read this! Enlightening? You are too generous. Although, emitting light through shadows is certainly aspirational 🙂
Mmmm, sexy cuckquean…I like it! 🙂 Cuckolding is a VERY complex fantasy with a lot of layers. Humiliation can be present but not essential. It isn’t so much that watching feels humiliating…it really comes into play if having your husband or the other woman talking to you in a teasing way feels arousing. Being teased about relative cock size is an example. Most would find this hurtful, a cuckold may find it arousing if this layer is part of their fantasy. Of course, there is a spectrum in tone between teasing and humiliation. Your initial reaction this may come from exhibitionism and voyeurism. You are proudly showing off your husband and also enjoy watching him experience the gift of pleasure you have provided for him through another woman. I can totally see great pride coming from both (showing and watching). As for the communication…you know I totally get that! I have to have it to complete the adventure. 🙂
This is extremely arousing for me. In fact, all of your posts are. I’m completely new to the erotica, cuckhold, sex stories but yours is extremely informative. I get turned on imagining my husband with another woman or him watching me with another man. But in real life I’m not quite sure we could manage it or recover from it. As you stated the couple would have to be strong & most of all secure. Thank you for schooling me on this subject. For now I’m going to check out the other posts you mentioned in this one. 😀
Thank you for the wonderful comment Tatum…and really enjoy knowing that you found it arousing! 🙂 As you mention, this particular post was more about informing and framing out the fantasy. I do have some experiences to share which illustrate how cuckolding plays out in fantasy and when translated into reality. I think it is really sexy that you imagine watching your husband or having him watching you… Your concern over making it a reality is important to listen to. You know, even if you never act on it, you guys can have a lot of fun playing with these fantasies through storytelling with each other. If he has a cuckold fantasy, he will find it very arousing to know you have fantasies about other men. If he doesn’t have this fantasy though…it will just make him mad. My most relevant post on this topic is American Gigolo: Rise where I share my experience as the Alpha male for a cuckold couple. 🙂
Michael, I found it interesting to read the other ladies discuss this from the other point of view. The man with another woman.
I have no actual experience here and would have never thought this would be a fantasy that applied to me since I tend to be a jealous and possessive type. I’ve always been a “what’s mine is mine” woman, however, I have recently discovered maybe I enjoy being a bit of a voyeur? Especially with the man I’m involved with.
In my recent situation it involves a man that isn’t mine in reality, but he is an intimate partner in a sense and listening to him describe being with a woman he was in love with previous to meeting me has been a HOT experience. I have shamelessly made him write every naughty detail to me like my own personal novel. I am still surprised that I don’t feel jealously listening to him describe her, or their sexual exploits in vivid detail.
Instead, for me it’s more arousing I suppose because I can see inside his head some at what he thinks/feels in the moment. Also I can put myself in that scenario as the woman. I am beginning to understand that’s the recurring theme for how I operate though. I understand things and apply rationale and understanding by placing myself in other people’s shoes. In the real world, to watch this happening, I’m unsure if it would be the same scenario but the question is now raised. My curiosity is piqued on it. I think in a healthy, clearly communicated, relationship it could be a hot experience to watch. The lingering questions and self doubts would have to be dealt with forethought though. “What if he seems to respond better to her? Does he enjoy it with her more? Is she more pleasing to him? Does he prefer her body to mine?” Etc… The positive side is getting a view of how sexy he must look while doing the same things to me. As a 3rd party just observing I can watch his reactions to certain things. Maybe gain new perspective on what he likes, what I can do better.
As the woman in a cuckolding relationship like the one you described, I don’t see it being nearly as vulnerable or uncomfortable a situation for the woman. She obviously doesn’t have jealousy to deal with or self doubt in her own desirability vs another woman. And she is fulfilling something that should be pleasing to her and at her partner’s request, for him. Doubly pleasing. That’s just my point of view though and I see it as an extension of being a natural flirt and tease. I’ve always enjoyed pushing the envelope with flirting while my man watched, gauging his reaction, knowing how far to press it before then turning my attentions back to him and declaring my loyalty. A tease as in, I could be with him, but I choose you, to bolster his ego in a sense? I’m not sure I understand the psychology around my own intention with those actions I guess. I suppose, right concept or not, this is in my head the ultimate tease in that sense.
I found your graphics alluring and arousing as always and really enjoyed reading how you’ve connected your thoughts back to previous introspections. I can see validity in what you say here based on previous posts. Great post Michael! 😊Amy
Amy, you have left a treasure of goodies in here with this comment! I have so enjoyed to comments from others as well…this is often the most exciting part of the blog experience for me as we sift through the themes and I learn from others. Your excitement around watching the man you are love with has come up a few times. I’ve done a little digging and found out their is a female version of the cuckold. In this fantasy/fetish, she is called a “cuckquean”. Sexual psychologist place this fantasy with BDSM for submissive women. It is really exciting (arousing actually!) to read your thoughts as flow through different questions/concerns you might have as you think about this fantasy. There is nothing wrong with keeping it as a fantasy and having fun with it in a relationship. As you explore it in your own thoughts, you may find that the things you fear may actually turn you. For example, guys think a lot about cock size. My fantasy eventually evolved to include a guy with a bigger cock. It made me hot to think about my lover getting more. In fact, if the other guy has a smaller cock…it does very little for me. Your evolving fantasy may be heavily based on voyeurism or it might stem from underlying submissive desires. There are many layers of interplay within this fantasy. I love how you had your man write it all out…I can totally see you doing that, ha! Seriously though, that is the level of mental connection needed in this fantasy. A lover can’t just take the physical pleasure and moment, toss up a wall, and go on with life as if nothing happened. The cuckold needs that mental stimulation to connect with and complete the experience. They desire the erotic mind fuck. Finally, your perspective on teasing/flirting were awesome! Actually, it plays very well in cuckolding. Seeing my lover flirting with another man turns me on and makes me want to take her and fuck even her even harder for being naughty. I’m going to share a post on this soon. It plays out the same even if the woman actually fucks the other guy. In the end, it is sexual fun for the couple. She is my woman and she is coming home with me. I know it and she knows it. It is just a naughty sexual adventure to add some spice within a loving and emotionally committed relationship. It may not be for everyone and there are plenty of other kinks out there to fuel passion’s fire. Thanks so much for your wonderful addition to this topic and the nod to the visuals…they were very hot to work on. 😉
I think for me it’s in part as you explained it. It’s the mind fuck. and yes, part of the naughty sexual adventure too, both ways. I’m anxious to read more of your thoughts as you delve deeper into this topic. Thank you for always enlightening us and always entertaining our comments.😊
Now, I’m more interested in reading about your fantasies around this! 😉 I hope my next post on this topic is worthy of your gracious feedback. 🙂
Hi Michael,
This was a very interesting and introspective read. Mark read it first and directed me here. I concur with your definition of a cuckold fantasy – that it’s not so much about the man being forced to cower and submit to watching another man fuck the woman he loves; it’s more about the mental, emotional and sexual stimulation that it provides for him, and for her.
I think at the end of the day there is great satisfaction that the woman can be fucked by another man, perhaps with a bigger cock (although size is not everything), and enjoy it thoroughly – but still return to Him nevertheless. That I can have mind-blowing sex with another man and he may give me multiple orgasms, but my love and my heart belongs to Him nevertheless, and that it is Him alone that can satisfy me mentally, emotionally and sexually.
I must say that your post has turned me on very much – but more than that, your mind and intellect is a greater turn on. ;p I am now extremely tempted to ask Mark if he would ever allow such a fantasy to play out between us… I believe that if done right, it will enhance our relationship.
– Nicole
Hi Nicole, thanks so much for taking time to share your thoughts on this topic…they are amazing! 🙂 Your reflection around your man not cowering and submitting are refreshing. While some men do get off on the teasing/humiliation, it doesn’t have to be present. I certainly agree with your perspective on the tone and sensuality between lovers on their naughty adventure.
Your second paragraph just took my breath away…having mind-blowing sex with another man but it is your Man that your heart belongs too…regardless of cock size, your Man alone provides that deep mental, emotional, and sexual fulfillment. I have an upcoming post devoted to love in cuckolding but what you shared perfectly captures that spirit. The influence of love is so often missing in cuckold porn and erotica. Yet, it is the very foundation of the experience…this is what creates the mental burn for the cuckold. Without love, it is just voyeurism.
Finally, I have to admit that I really turned on knowing you found this post arousing. If done right, a sexually adventurous couple can have intermittent cuckold adventures that enhance the passion and, ironically, the intimacy in their relationship. Now, to find the right guy… Hmmm, if only I knew someone that was fun to play with and always had the couples experience in mind… 😉 Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Nicole. If you and Mark go forward with this, I so hope you will share the buildup, moment, and afterglow with us through your blog! 🙂
Hi Michael,
I will say that I am definitely looking forward to reading your upcoming post on love in cuckolding. I am sure it will be an interesting read and bring a fresh perspective. That’s what your posts do for me – they usually bring a new, alternate perspective to various topics.
I totally get what you mean by a cuckold adventure enhancing passion and intimacy in a relationship. It’s like a sense of “going home” to what is familiar, comfortable and passionate after an encounter with someone whom you have only known carnally.
Hmm… I do wonder if you’re located anywhere near us, because I would love to explore this fantasy with someone like you! Mark & I have talked about it and he’s totally on board if you were to join us for an experience like that! ;p
– Nicole
The reaction to this post has been so unexpectedly positive. I was hesitant to share these thoughts but should have known the sexually adventurous would appreciate the erotic layers. It is super-hot that you and Mark are considering this experience. Not that you guys need it but the buildup is such a fun and hot part of the journey to connect around…not to mention the moment and the reclaiming. To be part of that journey with a sexy couple is an honor…and fucking hot!
Great conversation. There are so many resources these days. If you want to understand the various aspects, I highly encourage checking out Our Hotwives, it is a forum that has been around for years, and was an offshoot of a forum that had been around for at least a decade before. So many variations of the Hotwife, Cuckold, Cuckqueen, Swinger labels. I think regardless of label, these are varsity level kinks, and not for the people trying to fix a relationship. If you are not on solid ground, danger ahead!
The link is: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/index.php
I have often fantasized about cuckolding but never said anything to anyone or even attempted to act on it. Everything I saw and read made the cuckold look to be a person who is humiliated, weak and dominated by their partner and the “Bull” and that is not me at all. I never stopped to think about the healthy side of it as you wrote. I loved to see my partner satisfied by another and we always had that connection throughout the evening and they liked to see me satisfied as well. The thing is the stigma of the cuckold being portrayed in that manner. After reading this I have a different perspective and I am beginning to look at it in a whole different light. This was very erotic, informative and down right hot.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. Admitting this fantasy to a lover is a big step. It can be embarrassing to share with someone and confusing to the woman hearing it…timing and open trusting communication is so very important. It sounds like the humiliation often associated with cuckolding rubs you the wrong way also. Humiliation seems to a popular aspect for many cuckolds but does seem to be on a spectrum from humiliations to teasing to none at all. Cuckolding is definitely one of my favorite sexual fantasies and it is exciting to know you find this arousing too. 🙂 I have a lot more to share on this topic and look forward to reading your thoughts on the fantasy as well.
I have an interest/fantasy of learning more about cuckold and being a part of it whether it is as one half of the couple or the third. I don’t like the way that it portrayed a weak, humiliating or berated by a woman or bull as you mentioned. I am not into humiliation nor am I weak. So this puts a damper on my vision of fulfilling it.
An important aspect of this is your emotions and I am glad that you mentioned that. I have had sex with others while my partner was there and I have seen her with another and all my emotions were disconnected from the others and remained with my partner. We kept eye contact, which is very important to us, to make sure we were still on the same page. While it can be fun, hot and sexual the emotions have to be in check at all times. It can quickly turn on you and become ugly.
I get aroused in seeing my partner with another man or woman as much as me being with another man or woman. It’s a different kind of turn on for me just as having a threesome or just being with my partner is a different feeling altogether.
I loved this post and the topic. It is nice to hear that there is someone else who view cuckolding as I do. I enjoyed reading this post and learning more about you and your thoughts. You mentioned a couple of other posts in this one and I am looking forward to reading them as well as your others.
I loved this post!!! I know woman always have these fantasies but rarely go through it. it’s nice to read where couples continue the fantasy. Very cool Read 🙂
When you say women have this fantasy…I imagine you are talking about being with two men, right? A threesome is a little different angle compared to being with another man as you cuckold your lover. Regardless, both are HOT! Maybe you’ll share a hot story around this one day…please! :p
I’ve been exploring the world of lesbian cuckolding (a woman dominating and sexually satisfying a man’s wife or gf to the point that she leaves him or at least humiliates him.) My blog is all about that, and several of my books are directly on that subject.I love your exploration of the topic!
Your writing sounds like an interesting twist on the fantasy. 🙂 I’m on a bit of a personal crusade to discuss cuckolding within a loving relationship (the way I have experienced it) where it is ultimately about the couple’s journey together…the experience occurs because it turns the couple on and, once it is over, they are even hotter for one another. Playful teasing/humiliation comes from a place of love with intent to arouse the cuckold and there is no vibe around the relationship ending…the experience actually fuels passion within the relationship. All of that said, your exploration of the genre is certainly the most popular portrayal of cuckolding. Look forward to checking out your writing. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts 🙂
The biggest ‘aha’ moment here for me has been ‘He is taking a mental and emotional spanking’. This may seem like the most simplistic view of cuckolding but it’s the description that takes my breath. That is a desire I understand on a visceral level.
The struggle for me has been that I’m not interested in having sex with someone else. However, as a mindfuck, well, that is a whole other story now isn’t it?
It was also interesting to me that you noted this might be more for the ‘cerebrally inclined’. I am constantly challenged by him on an intellectual level and it’s as arousing as his company. Thanks for the this wonderful guide!
Hi Carly, thanks so much for exploring this post and your thoughtful comment😊 I loved the way you expressed your reaction and the feelings coursing through you as you took it in and merged it with your own experiences. While I tried to keep this post broad and applicable to most with this fantasy. I learned a bit about my variation of the fantasy in your reply. It is hottest for me when a woman feels the way you do about your man. Your true feelings are that you don’t want anyone else. You love him and your relationship is strong…all important. Your excitement around pleasing him opens your mind to the fantasy and maybe it stays as mental play and adds even more intensity to your sex. Perhaps it goes further if the fantasy begins to truly become yours. Still, the bottom line is that is about your journey together and pleasing one another. Given your love for him, I’m sure it will be his greatest mind-fuck and release ever🔥🔥🔥☺️
I wish I could be fucked by u…
Whew, now you have me dreaming and fantasizing! Love the sexual energy and passion you have shared with me today, mmmm!🔥🔥🔥😘
U too feeling sexy right?
I found this post to be educating. I like the way you view cuckolding. I do hope you share more on your exploration in this subject.
Glad you enjoyed the exploration and appreciate the comment. You might enjoy the “Sperm Wars” post and “Naughty Angel” video as well. I’ll definitely have more….😊
I’ve had the same fantasy since I was a kid. My honest and true fantasy has always been to be totally under the absolute control of a beautiful woman and has always involved chastity. I don’t know why or where it came from, but it’s a big part of who I am. The bottom line is that if you have fantasies, run with them. Find that special someone that’s not going to give you the “have you lost your damn mind” look and just get busy.
Hey brother, thanks so much for the comments and checking out some of my posts! 🙂 I’m doing some business travel with limited WordPress time but look forward to replying to your awesome comments and also exploring your blog. I haven’t dived too deeply into the Femdom world but look forward to exploring your world! 🙂
I have had this fantasy, but it is not something that I would engage in with an actual partner. The Cuckolding fantasy for me would only with a virtual partner.
Where the cuckolding fantasy is voluntary and complicit, it is ultimately about sexual control. It is my belief that the male wants to maintain control over the female. In the complicit cuckolding, the cuckold man retains control, to at least some level, over the female. If the female gains pleasure from the experience, then it is because the cuckold male has permitted it.
With regards to humiliation, there can only be two scenarios. Either the cuckold male is willingly complicit or he is not. If the cuckold male is willingly complicit, then the humiliation is effectively simulated. But in the end, he still has control.
But if the cuckold is not willingly complicit, then he is not living his own fantasy. He is effectively the victim of abuse.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving such an engaging comment. I can understand your hesitancy to actually experience this. The distance between actually experiencing the fantasy and virtual partner can be significant because there is no deep emotional connection in the virtual setting…at least this connection isn’t likely to be as strong. The emotional connection is an essential part of the cuckold experience. Without this, it can be fun but it isn’t the same experience. Perhaps you might be able to discuss it with a lover but still keep it in the fantasy realm. Only use it as a form of sexual play between the you and your lover without actually intending to make it a reality. I agree with your points around the cuckold ultimately being in control. Porn’s portrayal of this fantasy paints a very different picture but, as you point out, the cuckold gets pleasure from being cuckolded. If it isn’t pleasurable, the fantasy becomes something else. Thanks for stopping by and engaging ~ Michael
This is where I am too. Not sure about doing this IRL . I don’t think I’m looking for humiliation….but this is a powerful act
I agree Sergebagnon, this is such a hot moment to think about…even to live out if you and your lover reach that level of comfort with the fantasy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and adding to the discussion, my friend.
Very intense. Something I’ve been contemplating for some time. Not sure why exactly but this excites me but I’m unsure about engaging
Thanks for reading this and taking a moment to share your thoughts. I share your curiosity about why this fantasy is exciting. I have written several posts devoted to exploring the psychology behind this fantasy. Cuckolding is the #2 searched sexual term in the world…so you are not alone.😊
As I am still pretty new to the cuckolding scene, I found this post to be very insightful. i started my blog as a way to tell my story start to finish because it isnt something that anyone in my life knows about. I went into my relationship knowing that it was a fetish of his. At first I was dead against it but the more I thought about it the more I found myself turned on by the idea….so here we are now. I will continue to read your post and I’m looking forward to gaining more knowledge from you! Thank you so much
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I appreciate you sharing that this post was helpful. I write about cuckolding as a way to help others (and myself) better understand a often misunderstood kink/fetish. I’m especially fascinated by how women think about cuckolding and really look forward to engaging with you as you share what I’m sure will be a very erotic adventure 😊🔥My cuckold-related posts are spread out a bit. From, my home page you see a category called “Cuckold Psychology” which has them all in one space. Thanks for stopping by and reading my naughty secrets☺️
Reblogged this on BLACK COCK 4 HER DISCREET and commented:
[…] Cuckold: Mind Bender – Cuckolding is sometimes referred to as the intellectual fetish. This posts explores the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy and the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold’s erotic pleasure. For some, there may also be a level of sadomasochism (the “SM” in BDSM) at play. The cuckold’s intense arousal comes from the intense but very pleasurable mental and emotional burn of watching his lover with another man. […]
[…] Cuckold: Mind Bender […]
[…] Pingback: Cuckold Psychology: Mind Bender | The Dionysian Experience […]
Takes my breath away!
Thanks for sharing such a hot reaction!🔥It is always exciting to arouse others…😈
I think this is the hottest to explore!
I agree with you, the “mind fuck” is such a hot path to explore.
Very interesting dynamic. The good girl tells me I should say your naughty….but then there’s an attraction to hang out with you and see what kind of exciting drama or action comes next. 😉
What you see and feel coming from me is an energy that also resides in you. Stick around, I will try to set it free…
This is fascinating. It’s an in depth scientific explanation while still recognizing the emotional facet it involves. I want to fully absorb your writing and its value. I hope we can discuss. 😉
So glad you found this interesting. 🔥I’ve thought a lot about this kink and written extensively on it over the years. The emotional aspect of cuckolding for the couple is something that is so often overlooked and always ignored in porn. As always, I’m curious about your thoughts…
That is hot, and so true…
Thank you, my brother. I wrote this as a way to help women understand what a man with a cuckold fetish finds hot about it. Great to hear someone with a similar kink also agrees.
Everyone has different paths, if they are brave enough to explore the path. This particular path is one of the hottest
The voyeur is a Godesses worshipper drinking and breathing Her glory.
Thanks brother, he is all of these…and enjoying a mind fuck of the highest order.
It IS the most thorough mind fuck.
#1 My first thought is this nothing to take lightly. Once things happen, once revealed, once experienced, they are out there…or as some say, “the cats out of the bag.” Do they say that? Lol. I think you know what I mean.
Hubby and I have discussed this and I’ve always said, this is not to be taken lightly. As I thought through the early ideas and invitations he had suggesting I play outside our marriage I was skeptical, a doubter, and yes against it.
But it doesn’t mean I didn’t develop a curious focus towards it. But as I explored it a discovered a whole slew of thoughts and ideas surrounding it. That just made me keep trying to learn and understand.
Could it be as easy as just meeting some else for sex? Sure – but that’s cheap and meaningless. I didn’t want that.
So I kept seeking information and that’s lead me to this point. I’ll have more to share.
Thank you for the very thoughtful comment.😘 You seem to be very thoughtful about the reality around cuckolding and it is always a great approach to think through this before moving from fantasy to reality. As you said perfectly, once experienced there is no denying what was felt. And, if the experience is positive, it will be hard to go back to life as normal knowing what type of pleasure is actually out there. Cuckolding has many variations. Given your curiosity around submission and cuckolding, there is a variation known as the “dominant cuckold” which may blend well with your desires. You might enjoy “My Submission (To You) and the video “Naughty Angel”. Both are available from my home page in the cuckold category.
Yup, there’s a lot to discuss regarding this topic. Then, there are a bunch of other things too…so much floating around my mind.
I have a theory about cuckolding. Perhaps some of the fantasy is watching ones “angel” or “goddess” showing her “true colours” and enjoying being corrupted and used as another man’s “whore”? Of course, in the white American psyche, the black man plays the role of “pimp” or “corrupter”. So in this age-old Edenesque fantasy or Angel – Corrupter – Whore, surely the only role left for the Cuckold to play is, erm, Saviour?
KJ, thanks so much for this incredibly insightful comment. I have researched, experienced (as cuckold and bull), and written a lot about cuckolding. I believe you are hitting on a key theme deep in the psyche of most cuckolds. There are others but this gets to the erotic, psychological, and emotional burn most cuckolds feel. I’ve seen through some favs and other comments that you been looking around my galleries, thank you. You may have noticed that I do have some images of interracial cuckolding to include an angel with a dark angel which visually represents your theory. You may also be familiar with “Courtly Love” which is goddess-like love without sex because of its purity. Cuckolding is the antithesis. Erotic tension emerges between these contrasting edges when there is a longing/desire for both states. The ancient Greeks attributed this realm of contrast and inversion to Dionysus (of whom I also create images). I have more posts on this topic coming up and hope you will check them out. I believe the cuckold is drawn to the Dionysian archetype. He wasn’t the Saviour nor was he the Devil. Dionysus was both.
A lot has been written about the similarity of Dionysus/Bacchus to Jesus Christ – both were wine Gods whose followers used bread and wine in their ceremonies. Both were killed and returned to life after death. Both emphasised and promised a personal religious experience, transcending the bindings of tradition. And the eternal ring which binds these opposites together – good and evil; love and hate; courtly love and its “antithesis”; the Madonna and the Whore – cannot be thought, but can only be experienced. The closest we can get to depicting it is to show a pristine angel, on her back, her wings fully spread, in a state of pure ecstasy as she is so willingly fucked in both her body and her mind by her antithesis; that vile, filthy tormentor of whom she is – as we all are – inextricably a part.
And you do such a great job of depicting her!
You my friend, have nothing to learn from me. But, I am thankful to have a kindred soul out their in the world. Your summation was like hands massaging my mind and soul. It feels amazing that this image called forth these thoughts from you as similar thoughts called forth this image. I appreciate you.
Plenty of people would benefit from the information you have passed on. Two thumbs up and I hope you keep going with items of this approach.
Thank you, I’m glad it didn’t put you to sleep and that you found it interesting. I’ll keep expanding on the themes and share some actual erotic stories (experiences) too.
My wife and I find erotica very rewarding. I would recommend it to anyone.
[…] some of the “fetish within a fetish” layers often associated with cuckolding. My second post, Cuckold: Mind Bender is a deeper dive into the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold […]
Great series….so it is true.
So glad you find this series enjoyable. I always hope to present it in a way that women find intriguing.🔥 Your statement, “so it is true”…what do you mean? 😊
That would be innapropriate. But it has to do with size. Maybe you could delete that?
Mmmm, that is sexy question 🔥I will delete it if you like. There are of course exceptions but for the most part it is true.
I didn’t mean to be rude. But…wow.
Rude? 😄 You are the furthest point from being rude. As you may have noticed, things get a little raucous on my blog at times…not a lot of metaphors being used.😉You are always welcome to express yourself however you feel or ask anything (as long as you are comfortable)…my mind is open and curious. I won’t be offended. 😊
Nice post and great read! I always find cuckold videos to be the hottest when there is dialogue and especially when the woman is in the moment for fulfilling her own pleasure. The fear that she is getting something I can never gave her is a huge turn on. Witnessing her pleasure is just as exciting to me and it is all about making sure she gets what she needs even if it is with someone else.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts ,Robosmith. There is so much variety in what makes us hot with this fantasy. You bring up a very important point about the wife/girlfirend’s pleasure being of utmost importance. It is essential that our lover is enjoying herself and not just going through the motions. We want her to have an amazing time. This makes it hot for her and for us. You mention “fear” that she is getting more adds to your experience. I imagine this taps into your competitive spirit? I have this reaction too and explore it in the Sperm Wars post: https://dionysusandblackbulls.com/2018/01/06/sperm-wars/
Interesting thoughts. I find my arousal stems from the woman exploring her sexuality and doing “forbidden” things as I watch. I also like some of the humiliation stuff but often I’d rather there be some connection between the woman and husband with the husband encouraging her wild abandonment. There may also be the element of needing to compete and win her favor. If we can’t give her what she wants, it makes us try even harder to give it to her.
Watching the woman you surrender to her primal urges and embracing the fullness of her sexuality is such a hot rush! I explore the sensation of needing to compete and how this intensifies our arousal in a post called Sperm Wars:https://dionysusandblackbulls.com/2018/01/06/sperm-wars/
The thought of giving my wife to big cocked bull for her pleasure and his is so hot! My excitement from watching how wild she becomes for his big cock—especially a black stud—is hard to explain. The woman I have known for so long transforms into a woman I have never seen before and gives herself totally to a man she may have just met…all because of his big black cock.
The surrender of a woman to her sexuality…wildly embracing… is something that seems to push a hot button for many men. How this looks has many variations. What you described is something that certainly resonates with me and a lot of men with cuckold desires.
Good work as usual Michael.
Thank you…I was a little uncomfortable sharing this one. It’s been buried in my archives but never put out as a “new” post. But, it is one of my fantasies and I will be writing about it so I thought I might as well start discussing it. ☺️Glad you enjoyed.
I understand that. The way you write it though you seem as though your comfortable enough with the subject. Looking forward to reading the rest. 🙂
It was a bit informative, but I’ll add in some heat soon ☺️🔥
Good 😉
I am thankful for this post. I felt alone. Cuckolding is not easily explained and seems so mysteriously acquired. I am glad someone is taking the time to describe and explain what I have been experiencing for more than 30 years.
Thanks JLH, you are not alone. I am trying to bring cuckolding out of the shadows and into the light. I hope to present it in a way that is tasteful for both men and women to take in and wrap their minds around…perhaps even their legs.☺️
I too am very intrigued and turned on by cuckolding. I am also quite amazed at how many other people have the same desire and fantasies regarding the cuckold lifestyle. Sometimes I think something has to be wrong me to get so turned on by the thought of another man fucking my wife, having his way with her, and her submitting completely to him. Shouldn’t I be protective and possessive of my wife> What is actually in it for me anyway? It IS completely an intellectual fetish as you said where on the wife and bull are getting a physical release. Although, in some variations the husband plays too. The whole turn on, for me anyway, lies in the thoughts of another man having my wife and giving her the most intense pleasure she has ever had right in front of me. Within the cuckolding genre though, I also find myself (almost) equally excited about being the bull in a cuckold relationship. It is actually more of what I am in day to day life. I am in charge and people listen to me and do what I say. It would be very natural for me to be a bull and have my way with another man’s wife. The more cerebral, inner part of me is is where my submissive side lies and at some point is going to have to be explored. Thanks for this very thoughtful and in-depth look at this subject.
Thanks for the very thoughtful addition to this post. I have had many of the same questions and thoughts that you shared. I suppose this is the genesis for posts like these…to think through it all and at least develop some semblance of “why” it turns me on. Your point about being in an alpha in real life strikes close to home and resonates with many cuckolds (at least those that actually experience it). If cuckolds actually exist and they are often depicted, they would never be able to win the love of a woman in the first place. Without a lover, there is no cuckolding. I believe it that having a sense of control and power in our lives is what draws us to cuckolding. We experience the sensation of losing that…it is the Dionysian experience of “inversion” that excites us.
Now that was a interesting
“Interesting”😄Yes, this is my naughty fantasy. I’m going to have some these type posts occasionally so thought I would start sprinkling them in. “The Cuckold Contract” is one that is related where I was the “Bull” and made a contract of expectations for the couple to agree to and sign. May not be your cup of tea…no worries. ☺️
That is quite a spicy fantasy 😄
I like your naughty blog
so I will look at the post you mentioned
I might feel like turning red among other things
As I did with the other posts of yours that I have read.
“Among other things”…you do make the mind take flight 🔥
Precious Michael…
I read this as though we were intimately talking into the early hours, alone…face to face , breathing in each other’s souls and thoughts and I feel as though I know another layer of you and that fills me with more than just desire for you more than just need for you… I want to embrace you and hold you close and ….well…more later
❤️ You are beautiful, inside and out and I mean that . You know I do.
I have so much to say to you, not just about this but about some other… conversations we’ve been having. I read every word you write over and over and let it flow through me.
You are…I can’t believe we found each other
💕
Mmmm, I love the vignette your words created. I imagine us laying entwined after hours of passionate release. The heat and scent of our bodies and our desire for one another in the afterglow remains intoxicating… You are safe in my arms and I believe you feel this. I only want you and, in your heart, you only want me. You ask me what I want…to tell you about my fantasies. What I share in this post is the discussion we begin to have…only much more intimate with you and the sensual tones of lovers basking in the afterglow 💞🔥
I don’t know why why but…your words “…You are safe in my arms and I believe you feel this….” brought tears to my eyes… I’m sorry.. that’s not very erotic is it, lol. But like I told you..I have no filter around you. So I am wiping tears away as I say…I would feel safe in your arms…I wouldn’t be scared. I’m so very tired of being scared.
You shut me up with a kiss…and I surrender. Of course I do
💋
This sense of safety is really a cornerstone of any relationship. When we don’t feel safe, we don’t feel free to take things further…or deeper. I feel and want this on all levels of course. In the context of this fantasy, I also want you to feel safe…to know I will be there for you afterwards. This form of play is just a naughty sexual adventure. When it is over, the couple savors the erotic memories together..wrapped in each others arms as lovers. I believe the safety and confidence a woman feels in her relationship plays a huge role in determining whether she will or won’t indulge in this kink. If she feels loved and safe, she is more open to feeling the freedom to experience this form of pleasure from another man and also finds excitement in knowing she is also arousing her lover at the same time. So, I pull you in and kiss you and whisper deeply in your ear as I describe how I see the moment unfolding…your wetness reveals how you are feeling about it. My arousal is pressed firmly against you and you feel clearly how much it turns me on… 🔥
I love that you feel so strongly about your lover feeling safe.. just to known that it’s okay.. it’s just okay, you know? Yiu make her feel beautiful and hot and any woman would be yours, Michael. And I’m sure many women already are.
Everyone needs that and I believe when it is absent, a whole world of problems can arise.
But you…you just want beauty and sensuality and connection for everyone, don’t you?
If you and I were in this erotic moment…I would feel safe with you. You know that.
This is not something I’ve actually ever considered…to be honest I didn’t even know a man would be aroused by this. I would say that is due to the nature of my situation over the years, and the type of man I have come to know for years. Another MAN involved in our relationship? That is unthinkable for you know who.
But…
The more I read I about this, through your eyes, the more something feels…right . Or at least…it could be right. With the right person. I have lots of questions because I have lots of thoughts about this and I realised yesterday that if this was somehow …us , I then I would want to please you…I would bask in the deliciousness of your arousal… I would lick every last drop of whispers from you emanating all over me, and I would be ready for you after the experience was…partly over and I would lose myself in this spec of the universe where you are near me, wanting me…needing me…touching me…preparing me for the sexual, sensual moments we’re about to share because I did this for you…and for me to enjoy…you.
In the context of this fantasy…I would be bare, body and soul for you.
🔥
Michael…this comment has been in my mind all day…
How do you know what’s in my heart? In this ecstasy filled moment…how do you know that in my heart, I only want you?
I do, though.
So so much
🔥🦋💘
Your desire…what is in your heart is perfect. 💞It is because in feel this way, in your heart only wanting me, that it makes the fantasy even hotter and safe to experience. Our intense emotional connection makes the fantasy hotter on every level. In a sense, you are being submissive and enjoying a physical experience in my presence which is in stark contrast to a Femdom type of experience. Our emotional connection remains…even strengthens.
I’ll just soak in these delicious, sensuous words you’ve written here and I’ll respond soon…
I’m a little lost in thoughts of you right now…
💋💋💋💋🔥
Our connection remains and even strengthens…yes, that is what would happen. I know.
I am not into being dominant. I suppose that’s no surprise to you..
I like to be taken, to be intensely taken…hard by slow…strong but filled with pure desire for me… I would be (am) turned on by being submissive…for you. Femdom…not my thing. But I love the duality of this fantasy…it almost gives sexual freedom and power to both lovers.. I never thought anyone could make me see something new…change my entire perspective on desire and pleasure. But you have.
My heart filled with perfect desire for you…mmmm yes. This would be beyond erotic.. to have such an emotional connection to you here in this fantasy, to know I want only you while you are watching me take pleasure… I’d love to know your thoughts and desires in that moment when you’re watching me…or when you write words to me.
Some specs of slivers of moments in time are so gorgeous, aren’t they? Intense, hot, deep connections…you
🔥🖤😏😘
Michael…
Mmmm… sorry, got distracted by the thoughts of you kissing me…
Okay..so I am in the process of writing you a very long email, explaining, revealing, intimating so much…just know that I irrationally and deeply miss you. You have lots of comments of mine that should make you hot and hard for me…piercing your soul, your being, your fire..
Enjoy…
Soon, then
💋❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Hoping to add something to this well thought out and insightful post. There is also a huge biological aspect to the cuckold fantasy. Scientist found many years ago that in the animal kingdom, if a female of the species had recently been sexually active with another male, the next male would exhibit a much more voracious desire for that female. Taking the study further into humans, they found that when men sensed or knew a woman had been with another man, there was notable increase in their sperm production.
Hi Kagan, thanks for checking this out and sharing your thoughts. I am board with the science you describe. It plays a role in how I experience this fantasy for sure. I explore this in some depth in the post titled Sperm Wars:https://dionysusandblackbulls.com/2018/01/06/sperm-wars/
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and perspectives on this very interesting subject. It is refreshing to read something that covers the mental aspect of this fetish/lifestyle.
Thanks for the comment, appreciate it. This is a challenging fantasy to get our mind around. If we can understand the allure of the fantasy, we have a chance to gain control of the emotions and use them in an incredibly powerful, passionate, and erotic way.
I often fantasize about my wife being fucked by another man and the humiliation of her becoming pregnant from him. But, what I really love is to see her kissing, loving on, and hugging the other man during sex and afterwards…seeing her have that powerful connection and enjoying herself.
The “wife breeding” fantasy is an fascinating subject and one that I plan to tackle in the future. I see it in some cuckolding literature but do consider it a fringe fantasy. Even if the thought is arousing (it does push a few erotic hot buttons for me), this is one that likely resides in mind only. The emotional connection you speak of is pretty common but I’d say it goes 50/50 on that one for cuckolds with the other half wanting to keep it strictly in the physical realm with no emotional connection.
I agree 100% with this. If more couples were honest about their sexual fantasies, more marriages would be saved. For me, cuckolding was part of loving my wife, knowing she was being sexually satisfied. Knowing I fully supported her added to her experience by making it emotionally safe to accept and enjoy the physical pleasure of another man.
It is amazing how often I read or hear about someone sharing their intimate fantasies and then being ridiculed or shut down by their lover. It’s as if this person thinks that by shutting down someone’s fantasy, the desire goes away. How amazing it would be if we at listened to and indulged one another at least in fantasy play. It doesn’t have to enter to real world. But, to shut it down only causes a wall to rise between open communication.
Yes, Michael. I agree 😊 If we don’t listen to each other and take each other seriously, not only the desire goes away, so does love.
What a lot of people don’t understand about cuckolds is their need to jealousy and angst. The higher the angst, the stronger the desire for the woman they love, the deeper the passionate need to reclaim her. The cuckold uses the emotional force to take his lover for her to a deeper level. IMHO, you can’t replicate the cuckold lifestyle in mainstream porn because the actors don’t have the emotional connection needed to release the full passion that is so intense in the hotwife/cuckold relationship.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and contributing to the discussion, Gunter. Great take on the inability of porn to capture the cuckold experience. It does seem to primarily have a Femdom tone and heavy doses of humiliation. While popular, this vibe misses all of the emotional connection and deeper experience for the couple. Love your point about reclaiming your lover after another man has had her. That may be the most intense, passionate sex ever!
I’m deeply fascinated by the whole subject. A fantastic post. If only more men were into it. <3
Hi Velma, thanks so much for stopping by giving this a read…so glad you enjoyed this exploration. It is always so wonderful to hear from a woman that is at least intrigued by such fantasy exploration. It is one of my favorite topics so I will be sharing more.🔥
I will definitely keep an eye out for more <3
As an erotica writer, I found your post exciting and enlightening. But mainly you caused me to think back on two relationships that toyed with cuckold psychology. The first was my boyfriend who went crazy needing to imagine watching me have sex with a stranger. I thought, in the beginning, it was my own fault because I was (am) obviously attractive to men and vulnerable to their seduction. This first time, I had been modeling clothing in a club in Los Angeles and had fucked my dance partner in the parking lot, then drove to my boyfriend’s house to finish, so to speak.The evidence of the other man’s cum dripping out of me caused Michael to rape me on the hood of my car in his driveway. It was the best sex we’d ever had, and I was terrified at the time because he couldn’t get it out of his mind and from then on there was a third person in bed with us (not literally), but it bothered me! After reading your post I wish I could go back now and re-think my fears of the habit we’d fallen into that destroyed our relationship in the end. The second relationship more recently was an online sexual affair with a man who fantasized me in stories he wrote about himself and men he imagined me with. This engaged me in the writing of it because knowing what he liked, I invented male partners for us to toy with. My online lover played a large part in the story, always present as an early participant and then stepping back as the witness, and in the end, returning to finish me. Our stories still arouse me although I never met him in person! He did, however, give me total freedom to use his stories on my site. I haven’t as yet had the courage to post the deepest, most exciting ones….but with your encouragement, I might just step up to the plate!
Hi Suzette, thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a thoughtful and engaging comment! I hope you do share some of those stories that you worked on with your online lover…I bet they are so deliciously erotic 🔥I really do appreciate your feedback on the post being informative too. I try to avoid the sensationalism often found in this genre and instead present it in a way that is real and one that soffer women a new way to look at this kink and even one day participate if there man is interested in it as well. As you can tell, I am definitely into it.☺️Your story about coming home to your lover after being with another man really got me going. This “reclaiming” (I explore it in my Sperm Wars post) is sooooo damn intense. It does sound like he carried it too far by constantly talking about it. We need a balance right? Sometime is a kink…all the time is a fetish. Men with cuckold fantasies also have to tend to the emotional core of the relationship (which isn’t about living sexual fantasies) and keep that strong. I’m looking forward to exploring your writing…so nice to meet you.😃
Trés beau témoignage……
Thanks for sharing Michael , what a very senual and fascinating type adventure, and you’re excellent in explaining its different psychological modes…totally 🔥 hot by the way, seriously think I’ve met my sexual match😂❤.
Sexy girl, I love that you find this fantasy hot…oh what that does to me!🍆🔥I’m not sure I’m your sexual match…you are quite the tigress and I might have to bring a friend to help 😄🍆🍆😘
I don’t know 😂..This is a tight situation here, I have snap back😻, and although a tigress, it works better with one🍆..and/or possibly watching the rising length of the other🍆.
Back up🍆 might work on a really 🔥 greedy day, never had it that way
😂😂😘❤
Mmmm, “a tight situation” has me forgetting what I was about to type 😄🔥One at a time works well in this fantasy…the special guest followed by the cuckold. The cuckold may even wait until later in the evening for the powerfully erotic reclaiming of his woman.🍆💦
Hmm..💦wow, excuse me while I dry off😌..lol
I get worked up when it comes too the art of sex-multiple times, especially when its equally satisfying for all parties.😘😄
Mmmm…
I don’t know how many times I’ve read through your things, but they always hook me…
Awww man, I really appreciate this ☺️It means a lot that these posts are worthy of additional reads over time. I don’t post often so they don’t get buried in archives too easily 😛 Thanks so much as always for stopping by.
Of course!
I’ve always wanted to ask… Is your Gravatar picture actually you?
Yes, the image is of me ☺️If you happen to like it, there is a larger version in my “exhibitionism” post…along with a somewhat more revealing image.🔥
🤩😍😛
HOLY SHIT!!!!!
Glad you liked that…given your desires, I was hoping it would stir a little something in you ☺️🔥
Oh, I am stirred…stirred quite well.
Thank you, you are very flattering ☺️🔥
I’m sure I’m not the only one to flatter you. I think you have a certain “knack” for acquiring attraction.
Hey loved this article! I especially found the insights about the mental part of cuckolding fascinating. It is true that most cuckolds (the ones I have met) are generally more intelligent and intuned with the mental arousal this kink brings them.
Hi Jane, thanks so much for stopping by to give this a read. It is always a special treat to have a woman experienced in the lifestyle stopping by and weighing in. I’m glad this post resonates with you. 😊I’m looking forward to exploring and following your blog.
Reblogged this on Cuckold Corner and commented:
Explore the role of the “Mind Fuck” in cuckolding.
Good night
Thank you for the reading this…glad you enjoyed it ☺️and the comments you liked 🔥
I wonder if this fantasy is psychologically similar to my fetish for women with big butts. As with your fantasy, it does not necessarily mean one is drawn to female domination, but certainly the impression of strength, of physically connecting with a source of quivering sensual power swallowing one’s own phallic power, is crucial to the fantasy.
Thanks for the fascinating comment, Lionsdan. I will need to learn more about your big butt fetish and the underlying drivers of the fantasy to respond to your question. I will say this though, your mention of connecting to a source of quivering sensual power and swallowing one’s own phallic power certainly resonates…deeply.🔥
The only time I have touched the buttocks a girl with a really big butt was a Latina bikini barista, who was letting me spray her with a water gun. On an impulse, I reached in and squeezed her bare butt (fortunately she did not flip out) and I climaxed almost instantly. Not to get too Freudian with the whole thing, but the sensation made me feel like a little kid again, wrapped in an enveloping maternal embrace. Even though the barista was younger and shorter than me, I felt physically diminished (in the most titillating, empowering way possible) by the sensation. Her butt was so big that it made my large male hand feel small. Her flesh was like jello and yet strong and muscular, toned by a lifetime of twerking. I seemed to be simultaneously penetrating her and penetrated by her as that warm energy yielded beneath my touch even while resisting me, making me part of a sensual whole that overwhelmed me even as it galvanized me.
Whew, this is a strong fetish you have to make you climax that quickly…with just a touch. You’ve stirred a couple thoughts with comment. There is fetish known macrophilia which deals with the Giantess fetish which I don’t know a whole lot about. It’s all about the relative size of the man to the woman….sort of the reaction you had of your hand to her big ass. Your reference to feeling like a kid is something I hear occasionally with cuckolding. The idea is that the cuckoldress takes on the role of mother and the bull is daddy. The cuckold takes on the status of a child doing something very taboo…watching mother having sex. This doesn’t resonate with me but it is a out there as a theory.
In the event, I was already close to climax. She was almost completely naked and I had been using the water gun to spray her all over her body. So it was a climax in more ways than one when I succumbed to temptation and put my hand on her butt. At the time I was still a virgin and so had not had such intimate physical contact with a female since I was a child, which I think is why it made me feel like a kid. Otherwise, I agree with you, the macrophilia fetish does not resonate with me either. Aside from butts, I don’t get off on sheer size, in fact to some extent the opposite. I love Brazilian porn stars because in Brazil it is fashionable for women to have big butts and small boobs. The barista in question had a similar body, and she once made me cum just by twerking.
Hits the nail on the head every time, articulate, well researched and accurate. Well done Michael. I would love to know your views on more specific cuckolding desires, and how and why they may differ but that’s by the by. As I am currently going through a cuckold journey myself it’s fascinating and almost reassuring to know there are folk out there looking at this in an objective academic manner. Well done again!
Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback on this post. It means a lot knowing this resonates with someone actually going through this journey. I have a “Cuckold” folder on my blog which is devoted to different erotic themes found in the kink. I love experiencing kink and trying to understand the psychology that drives the arousal. Thanks again for stopping by!
Great, Michael. The world would be a better place if more people tried to understand. Instead of judging.
Christina
Very well written and informative. My husband and I only recently delved into exploring cuck. He can’t fully articulate all that he feels and gets from it, but i shared your post and he found several things that resonated with him. Whatever the source of satisfaction, he loves it…as do I.
Hi Jenny, thank you for the wonderful feedback and for sharing this piece with your husband. Trying to explain the cuckold fantasy can very hard for men…it confuses us and definitely confused me. This post and others like it are intended to help men think about the “why” behind our cuckold fantasy and also to help women understand it. So glad you guys are enjoying this kink…together. Thanks again for giving it a read.☺️
Interesting comment, ddjennifer. It was also difficult for my husband to articulate his feelings in the beginning. Fortunately he has since then chatted with quite a few other cucks, and that has helped him a lot.
We sometimes feel very alone with these thoughts. It isn’t something we can openly speak with male friends about because you just don’t know how they will react. Fortunately, if we get on the web and look around, we clearly aren’t alone with this desire.
Oh my
Blushed all the through while reading this one
You seem to do that a lot here and I like it 🔥
Sonrojarse mientras está mojado, 😄 es una de las cosas que hago aquí.
Interesting read and comments. My wife has three others lovers aside from me. The first relationship began eight years ago. As long as she is getting enjoyment from it, I am completely on board, as her satisfaction is utmost to me. All three men are good friends of both of us, and them having their cocks in her takes absolutely nothing away from our own relationship. I’m neither embarrassed or humiliated to lick their semen from her, or to suck their cocks hard for her pleasure.
Thanks for sharing your experience RIC. The comment thread is even better than the post, ha! I appreciate that a lot of men in this lifestyle experience it is as you do – free of erotic humiliation. In a situation where your wife wasn’t present (and that she was okay with it) would you be alone with a man?
Thanks for a very informative and thoughtful article. Perhaps you would like to read my own blog where I have just written a post about interracial cuckolding and humiliation.
Christina
I will be reading your blog over the weekend for sure and sharing plenty of reactions 😈🔥
It is always interesting to see how many variations on a theme there can be. To tell the truth, my wife and I have been struggling to find our footing in this realm. I have recently begun to realize, that although I am pretty comfortable with acknowledging where I am in the hierarchy (beta male – or even omega), I had been putting her into an alpha female role in my head, which I now do not think is right for her. I think we are a submissive couple, which is a great realization, and would totally explain our failure to get traction. I don’t think she is sure about that, but she has expressed that she is having a hard time separating emotion from sex. In other words, she enjoys sex with me mainly through the emotions she feels for me. She is struggling with having sex for sex’s sake with someone what she does not have an emotional connection with.
I totally get it and respect it. I have pointed out that what we have together is unbreakable, and that I am open to her forming emotional connections to other men, if that helps her get to where she wants to be.
It is wildly exciting for me to imagine her with another man sexually. It is mind-melting to consider her in love with him!
It will be interesting to see where it leads.
I’d love to follow your journey on this. Sounds like you’ve made some real breakthroughs already in learning how both of you want to experience this. There are sooo many lame “Bulls” out there. These guys just want to get laid but don’t really understand the mental play going on. Maybe your wife needs someone to engage with her a bit…invest some time and energy in working her mind to build some erotic heat before her body follows? You mention that your wife isn’t an Alpha female type and not into FemDom. Is she indifferent to power play or does she actually enjoys being submissive? If she is submissive, you could narrow your focus to a Dom. I’m sharing a story about Lilah on my blog where we went that route and it was incredibly hot to be so in love with a woman that becomes another man’s submissive. I’m so eager to share all that journey. Another option (though not your sweet spot) might be take on a more dominant role. Your wife might enjoy the thought of sleeping with other men if she feels it is a form of submission to you. My ongoing posts about Sienna are about to start getting into this dynamic when I confess my cuckold fantasy to her. I hope you will give me updates periodically…very excited for you guys.
Je pratique cela depuis longtemps, avec et de par diverses expériences. C’est un pur délice que de vivre et réaliser cela en actes…. Je suis vivement intéresé par le partage…
Mmmm, it is always so erotic to hear from a woman that has experienced this and enjoyed it 🔥I would love to hear about it or read about it. Have you shared any of your experiences on your blog? You can provide a link to the post(s) here if you want to.
Comme il est bon, beau et riche de vivre cela, ce fait, ces faits du candaulisme (cuckold), de l’échange et du partage, oui, c’es une pratique qui donne vie et vitalité à l’Âme, à l’Amour….
Je m’interroge toujours pourquoi la vision pornographique associe toujours le candaulisme (“cuckold”) à l’interracial…
Yes, I think you know the transcendent power of this experience very well. 💫🔥I recognize that interracial sex (as a fetish) and cuckolding are two distinct fantasies. As you point out, they are often combined. Why do you think this is the case?
Not sure I know why. It is a HOT fantasy !!
This is one of my most viewed posts…so you are not alone with desire.
Your content is hot.. love to hear your stories..
As you can see, there are a lot of stories…hope you are able to return and check out more. Seems we have similar desires.
YES> gasp.. we do
cuckold fantasy husband here
me from india, i am addicted in cuckold fantasy, when i tell to my wife she gets scared and said no no, is this is a psychological problem for me
A lot of men enjoy this fantasy – you aren’t alone. However, it doesn’t mean that your wife will enjoy it. You need to think about how you can making it emotionally safe and exciting for her and be willing to take small steps at first.
Have the majority of men who desire the cuckold experience cheated on their wife, without her knowledge? If so is the cuckold experience a way to atone. A way of saying sorry as “another man plows her pussy and pumps his sperm inside her, is he taking an emotional and mental spanking” for the indiscretion?
Or in my case is the mind fuck theory a more sensible and thought out theory. For years I’ve never been able to explain this urge to myself or my wife. I have been looking to increases the passion in our relationship after 37 years of marriage, a desire for increased intimacy with her, our secret and ultimately the emotional and extended commitment within our relationship”. I keep telling myself this is my reasoning for wanting to share her, but is it, really? Or having read this article do I actually subscribe to the female submission, Do I want my wife to submit to me by submitting to the cuckold fantasy.
Or could psychological sadomasochism be my driver, I have never thought of the “mind fuck” theory, until now. Naturally I enjoy the physical act of sex, but not being physically involved as a cuckold is this a highest order of pleasure I seek? Fascinating insight, opened my mind today, thank you, I will study your profile more; Yoda
Hi Val, thanks so much for giving this a read and commenting. In my study of this kink/fetish,I don’t believe male infidelity is a key driver. Of course, this doesn’t mean it never happens. Cuckolds experience the fantasy and reality in different ways with a combination of psychological forces driving the fantasy. The Sperm Wars effect (written about in another post) seems to be real for you as it is for me. I also identify with your thoughts on female submission within the cuckold fantasy. This isn’t very common but there are “dominant cuckolds”. Femdom and cuckolding are different and a cuckold doesn’t have to be a submissive or sissy male. Finally, it does seem that a little mascochism gets you off and this common among cuckolds. You have multiple drivers in your fantasy and being able to identify and understand them may help you explain the fantasy to your wife. She may not want to do it in real life but perhaps she will at least share it with you at the fantasy level. Thanks again for stopping by.
Another well written and thoughtful essay on cuckolding. I agree with the basic concept you explore here on cuckolding not being about domination or humiliation. It is instead mostly about the “mind fuck” and the cuckold’s desire to actual please his lover through the physical contact with another (competing?) male. This is at the heart of the kink for me. This line brought it home for me: “A cuckold gets off anticipating, watching, and remembering his lover with her legs spread wide as another man plows her pussy and pumps his sperm inside her.” It’s about her not about humiliation of him.
I’m looking forward to your future installments.
Thanks!
Hi brother, appreciate your thoughtful comment on this topic as always. I sort of teed up an upcoming post on Femdom vs. Cuckolding with this one. A lot of guys like Femdom and humiliation and I’m not judging. All of our kinks are wonderful, and I do enjoy some milder forms of humiliation too. It does seems though that if someone says they are a cuckold, there is a faulty perception of what that means. To your point, sexual competition and your lover’s pleasure seem to drive your cuckold fantasy. However it plays out, the cuckold is being mind fucked…and he loves it.
I love my wife more than anything in my life. And it has been this way since I fell in love with her. Upon experiencing my cuckold feelings once married; well, to say the least, I found this totally counter-intuitive. Additionally, I became very confused; but not without, feeling excitement and a whole bunch of feelings which conflicted with a traditional married relationship. I should add that I had experienced cuckold feelings at previous points in time while dating women. But, my very private cuckold side became much more pronounced and intense with my wife.
I tried to hide this from Vanessa, but I would constantly want to talk about her experiences with other guys, which happened before out relationship. But, her experiences were very limited and I gravitated to talking about any fantasy she might have about being with someone else, be it, male or female. She is very smart and realized my cuckold interest, and its intensity. My wife became willing to enter into long conversations about my interest. She wanted to understand. And this quickly expanded to verbal role play. While she assured me that this could never actually happen to our relationship, that she’d never go along with this, I thought otherwise. And soon I saw her giving into this stance, bit by bit, over several months; until, actually expressing an interest in allowing it to happen to our relationship I do now see how she realized early-on, how such a dynamic added a great deal of power to her side of the relationship. While this process took its natural progression, I experienced a reaction which I could never have perceived, or previously ever experienced.
The feelings which I mentioned above became part of me; this included, an overall feeling of conflict and confusion, mixed-in with excitement, jealousy and embarrassment, although nothing with any 3rd person, had even happened yet. And no matter how i tried, I could not cause my interest in being an actual cuckold to dissipate. In a way, I found myself wishing that my wife would “change-up” and find this concept simply disgusting, and reject even entering into conversation with me, concerning this lifestyle. But, my wife, at first wanting to truly connect with me on an emotional level, without jumping to a negative judgement, and, upon realizing my nontraditional interest, became actually attracted to it.
We had a rather large wedding to attend, with few people we knew, and our talks expanded into the area of her flirting, just to test-out how this small step makes each of us feel. Just having this discussion, and making some ground rules, made us both excited. But, as I mentioned above, this involved many more feelings for me. And, at that wedding, Vanessa found a younger guy interested in speaking with her as she made her way around, while I simply left her alone. He was very good looking, in his mid 20’s and Hispanic; it was easy to see, flirting with a 38 year old female peaked his interest. I should add that any sign of marriage, like a ring on a finger, was left at home. As I tried to view their exchange from a suitable distance, I realized that being a cuckold would be overwhelming for me. As I observed, I developed an erection, which soon leaked. Those feelings I mentioned previously, were coming at me hard and fast, including jealousy. When we returned home, my wife was incredibly excited and wanted to hear my reaction. As I tried to explain the private conflict going on inside of me, I found her viewing this aspect, as something positive. Eight months after we first discussed cuckolding, we actually experienced my wife, being with another guy and it took place in our bed. And, our relationship was now a cuckold relationship, or as they say, a one-sided, open relationship.
Watching my wife being made love to by someone else, is the most incredible experience; and, it has involved some hurt on my end, which is mixed into a cycle of experiencing other intense feelings, deep within me. As this happens, I seem to get lost in the confusion of conflicting feelings which take hold. Less than a year earlier, I needed a pill to assist me in getting hard and staying hard. Now my erections, just happen, And, I actually stay hard. I have been trying with much effort to handle my jealousy. And, other feelings too. My wife does try to be of assistance with this, Clearly, she wants to continue, it is obvious; but, she has likewise, told this to me. She articulates this as “added pleasure” for her. She realizes that I need encouragement to accept this as something positive, in the long-term, for our marriage. Still I feel confusion.
Michael, I’m happy to say, that upon reading the discussion between your readers, has really been helpful to me. I have felt somewhat alone, even with good communication with Vanessa. And, reading about the experiences of others and how they have felt and still feel, has caused some clarity for me. Michael, I cannot think you enough for what you have wrote about and, for providing this forum to take place. The points you make in your site, are truly accurate and realistic!
I would like to hear more about how others deal with any feeling of jealousy and other hurt.
And, about the process whereby these feelings become pleasurable (if this is the case).
I have spent an incredible amount of time, trying to understand why I ever let this happen.
I appreciate the input from all.
—-Logan—–
Logan, thank you so much for sharing your cuckold experience with me and the other readers. I think many will identify with your journey and also wonder how it might be for them if they ever made the transition from fantasy to reality. Your love for your wife is the magic elixir that makes this fantasy so hot for you. Without feeling this deep love, the cuckold experience would lack intensity. If you had a friend (that was a girl) who slept with another man, it wouldn’t be hot. She’s just a woman having sex, we all do it…no big deal. But, your wife – the woman you love – that is where is emotional fire and intensity comes from. Your confusion flows from the very source that makes it hot.
Cuckolding is a kink/fetish and, therefore, exists outside typical behavior. We are told that we aren’t supposed to get excited thinking about our lover with another man. Society tells us that we shouldn’t like this. Other men tell us we shouldn’t like this. Even some women tell us this. Yet, we do like it. It makes us so hot! Logan, this is one of the most popular kinks among men. Everyone keeps it a secret because we cuckolds are afraid of being judged, but you are not alone. You wouldn’t believe how many views my cuckold posts get…so many people are into cuckolding.
Your wife Vanessa followed a reasonable path with you. She listened to your fantasy and didn’t want to make you feel bad. She even role played to see how you would respond. After she saw how much you enjoyed it and felt the positive affect it had on your relationship, the fantasy began to excite her too. It can be exciting for a woman to please her lover…even if that means having sex with another man. By doing this, Vanessa sees herself as a sexual goddess in your eyes. She didn’t cheat on you. She trusted you, loves you, and fulfilled YOUR greatest sexual fantasy. What more can a woman do to please her man?
It is perfectly natural to feel the wild range of emotions you have felt. Please though, as cuckolds we must never make our woman feel bad about doing this. This is a woman’s worst fear. A woman in love with husband would never want to do anything to hurt her husband or jeopardize her relationship. For a man to convince his lover to cuckold him and then get mad at her for doing it is probably a woman’s greatest fear and the main reason so many women refuse to explore this fantasy. Most women don’t believe we, as men, can handle the reality of seeing another sinking his cock insider her and making her scream with orgasmic pleasure. Your wife believed in your strength and your sincere desire to live this experience.
Remember, your conflicting feelings and sense of jealousy are what makes the fantasy so dizzyingly erotic to you. But, you must never let your jealousy be known or do or say anything to make your wife feel bad about it. If you can’t control the emotional pain without making your wife feel guilty, then you might consider stepping away from the lifestyle. The transcendent ecstasy and rock-hard leaking erections you experience isn’t free – the price is emotional angst. However, if there isn’t any emotional angst, the experience won’t be as exciting. The pleasure of cuckolding is found the erotic tension between pain and pleasure. It is emotional and mental masochism. It is the ultimate mind bender.
Michael,
Thank You for your well thought-out advice. I find this very kind.
It is so difficult to discuss this subject with just about anyone. Most could never understand.
And your input is very welcomed and so important.
Being able to accept the concept of the cuckold dynamic means going against what we have been taught. Men are told as boys, that holding onto one’s woman is of the upmost importance. We are taught to be vigilant because she could be seduced away, or somehow taken away. And this can happen in the blink of an eye, by another male or a female. However, part of being a cuckold seems to provide for a scenario in which we strive, or even struggle, to abandon this hyper-possessiveness, and even encourage our female partner to experience her full sexuality.
For reasons not fully known to me, I have been attracted to being a cuckold. At many points in time, I have tried to detach from this feeling. But, this has never happened. It simply does not go away. Well before my marriage, in each relationship, I felt myself as needing to be cuckolded. Even dating a female just once, produced the thought that if she is the right one for me, I want our relationship to have a cuckold dynamic. Or, to put it another way, on a first date, I’d be having a fantasy of having fallen in love with her, and being a cuckold; and on this first date, in my mind, she’d be having sex with someone else, sometimes with me watching, and other times she would prefer me not to be present. During this dating stage, no matter the female, I could not detach from the cuckold dynamic; and, I’d want to fall in love because without being in love, her being with someone else, it so very boring and uninteresting.
I have a wife “to kill for”. And, she is truly pretty and feminine and sexy. And, she is mentally very sharp, and very smart, plus so very intuitive. My wife enjoys the visual affect of her sexuality on others. Vanessa has found that the power provided to her, as the wife of a cuckold, is something of good value. She has become totally aware of my reaction to her, as she engages in even the simplest interaction with another guy or female (to a lesser degree). And, of course, I actually encourage Vanessa to be sexual with others.
Seeing my wife with another guy seems to generate conflicting feelings, as I mentioned in my prior writing. And these feelings have an element of pleasure, while I am caused to feel upset at the very same time. More than once, I have been brought to tears as she and her lover experience their lovemaking. I wonder if others have been brought to tears by this. And, more than once, I have been caused to cry while she, and her so much better endowed lover, experience an exchange of intimate kisses, which leads to her dress being placed to the side, followed by, the sight of my wife in a black bra and panties and beautiful cleavage. As I cry, I see the hardest of erections in that very lucky lover, as this pair makes-out, as if I were not there. And, as they show me how to properly kiss by their own kissing, I experience the result of inadequacy, as well as the confusion of jealousy, and for sure, I so envy his beautiful full penis, and, his more handsome face, and his display of confidence. Truly I want my tongue to be received in Vanessa’s mouth, the way that his tongue is received and pleasured by her mouth and tongue. I so envy Steve’s fit and tight body. As I watch this naked guy continue his kisses, and his licks around her neck, I envy his masculinity as he moves his lips to her cleavage. I am lost in the subspace of a cuckold. I am excited and also hurt as I see him remove her bra and then suck her left breast. And I hear as she moans. I watch him kiss that same breast and then the right breast. I watch as the wife who promised she’d never do anything sexual behind my back, keeps her word. I watch as the right breast of my wife is sucked and nurtured. As I view Steve being held close by the woman I love; as he is nursed like a baby; I feel my own penis and find it leaking. As I look at it, I feel great disappointment. I now feel, the disappointment of Vanessa.
.
Still I find a sort of relief as I stroke myself. I listen as the couple before me moans and complements the other. I watch and feel powerless, as Steve kisses the stomach of my wife. I watch as I so rudely realize that she is enjoying their sex, so much more than she ever enjoyed it with me. I see his tongue at her navel and can’t understand why I never did this, as my beautiful wife places her right hand at the back of his head, trying hard hold him there. I watch as he continues his attention to her beautiful stomach. I see how much my wife enjoys Steve’s manhood as his cock presses against her body. I am in a state of jealousy. I am simply so incredibly jealous. And without a stop, I envy Steve. Likewise, I am embracing a rather worthless feeling. The feeling of being not adequate enough. And, my tears come once again. And, I begin to smell the friction of their bodies, and they share intimacy. I watch as Steve kisses my Vanessa’s right thigh and then the left. I watch and hurt as Steve kisses the vagina that has given me so much joy and pleasure. I watch Steve and my wife making love in our marital bed, while I am left out.
I feel torn-up inside as Steve engages in intercourse with my wife. I listen as she tells him “I love our cock”. I feel a slight sense of pleasure as I hurt. I am feeling emotionally mixed-up. I sense that Steve knows this. Still, I want my mission back, and, I want to at least help him make love to my wife. I want to be on my bed with them. But, I’m afraid to get on my own bed. I view Steve and Vanessa locked together, their tongues pressing in lust, her legs locked onto the area above his butt. I see his muscular lower body thrusting in and out. I stroke myself. I climax and right away, my erection reappears. I am so embarrassed. My wife is getting fucked as I sit nearby. I feel ashamed. I wonder if my wife will no longer respect me. I feel like I’m an outsider, watching a couple make love. As my mind races, I think about Vanessa wanting to be with Steve and not me.
I doubt myself. I am hurt. I feel teased with pleasure. I realize that he is without a condom.
I want to provide my wife with oral once he pulls out. I want to feel humiliated as I worship her vagina, no matter his soon to be his ejaculation of sperm inside that same vagina.
I feel so overwhelmed with emotion. I see the muscles in his arms and it is easy to see that he is more physically powerful and more fit than me.
Never have I experienced such an array of emotions. Never before have I felt so sexual. Never before have I felt this level of inadequacy. I felt great emotional hurt and never have I been any more excited than now. As he moved his dick in and out of my wife, as they moaned while locked in an endless kiss; I felt pleasure and pain together. I could not tell pain from pleasure, nor, pleasure from pain. I wanted to eat my wife, whether or not, he shot sperm inside her. I did not care for more than 5 seconds, if this would be the case. I am a cuckold and my wife, the woman I love, is being fucked by another man. As I sat and touched what is mine, I heard and saw Vanessa climax, I watched as he climaxed. I could only wonder his level of sperm. I continue to envy his manhood and confidence. I felt much inferior to Michael, and now I know why.
Hi Logan, this is a compelling read and I definitely appreciate the cuckold angst you feel around this🔥I have explored several themes that appear in your story (Sperm Wars, The Mind Fuck, and Erotic Humiliation (small penis teasing)). You might enjoy reading them. Links to those stories are available here: https://dionysianexperience.com/2020/07/20/no-content-backdated-placeholder-2/ Would you mind if I share this as a story sometime and with accompanying digital art?
I wouldn’t know what it’s like to be intimate with another, that was another lifetime/timeline
Hopefully, this will change in the future…if that is what you desire.💫
It requires two people to connect and unfortunately there is no other to connect with.
I’ve browsed your blog a bit and will circle back with a few comments and likes but find it hard to believe there aren’t others interested in connecting with you. ☺️
‘Many men wanting to play with couples believe their cock is the most desired attribute. While this may be a factor, the erotic mind is the most desired sexual organ. If you capture and engage a woman’s mind, her body will follow.’
This! Exactly this!
I cannot tell you how many times I have walked away from a well hung man just because he didn’t know how to flip that erotic switch in my mind. Sex for me is 75% cerebral and 25% the physical act. Most men I have come across on my travels it is the other way around. They just don’t get it. Mind sex is glorious, it brings about a rush of endorphins like nothing else can. Especially when my creative imagination is brought into play.
Take that a stage further and introduce cuckolding to the mix and my mind will have an orgasmic event better than any physical act.
I think I have said to you on a different occasion, it matters not the size, it is about the mental prowess of a man, it is about his ability to climb inside my mind and feed those erotic, sensual thoughts. When a man is clever enough to flip my dominant switch, I will be the cuckoldress he needs, I will be his fantasy and I will fulfill all of his desires along with my own. However, if a man is clever enough to flip my submissive switch, the world is his oyster and there is nothing I would not do for him, just to know I have brought him pleasure through my submission. I have yet to meet a man who can keep my submissive mind front and centre, but it’s there, just buried deeply.
while I may not be a cuckoldress in the fullest sense of the word, I am a hedonist and therefore will step into any realm or fantasy my lover wishes to occupy with me. Cuckolding fascinates me, more so since I began reading your posts over a year ago now. The power exchange, the trust, the emotional turmoil, the humiliation and of course the denial in the face of overwhelming inadequacies.
Whenever I read your work, I am always struck by how supportive you are towards the lover you wish to cuck you. It’s that one element that allows cuckolding to work for you both. The bull is almost inconsequential at that point and while he may be the Alpha in the room, he is not the man in her head or heart, he merely resides inside her and fills her fully. Once again, this is about the power of the female mind, the bull is essentially a tool to use while she fantasises about her real lover filling her over and over and giving her the one thing only he can… his erotic mind. 💎💞💫💋💎
Wow Gem, this is a spectacular summation from a very special woman with wonderfully erotic mind! There are so many essential layers in this fantasy that, in my belief, you have captured perfectly. Your perspective on this as a woman is something all aspiring cuckolds need to really digest (and hundreds read this post and comments). The relationship has to come first and, in the end, it is always about the couple’s journey. I think a lot of men fantasize about being cuckolded but want to skip the relationship and soulful connection element which is essential. It is the foundation. The more we (cucks) feel for our girl, the more intense the experience. Sure, games will be played and the woman may actually(hopefully) find other men she enjoys having sex with even more. But, that is only the physical pleasure. She can have that without a cuck in her life. Her heart though is with her cuck. The mind play and connection between lovers is what takes the experience to another level. Wow, I’m reading what you wrote again, and I think I am only restating what you already said perfectly. Your comment is simply a drop the mic type assessment of cuckolding. Thank you, beautiful Gem – mind, body, and sou – for this gift of understanding and eroticism 😘💝💫🔥✨
It is easy to give a lover everything when he is prepared to give you his mind. 💎💋💫💞💎
Yes!
Thank you, James…Gem lives up to her name in every sense of the word to include her shinning brilliance 💫💖✨
💋💎
Wow!!
Thank you James 😀 💎
Glad you enjoyed this one and the even hotter discussion 🔥
Thank you michael, now, because you are always so openly aroused by my comments on your posts and that always pleases me greatly, I thought it might be time to release you from the NOvember frustrations you’ve been feeling. I know how achingly hard and heavy your gorgeous balls must be and your delightfully proud cock is probably constantly standing to attention like a good little soldier these days. So, just for you, I think a little story is in order, this happened some time ago and is not one I have written about before but it’s perfect for you and this occasion.
He wanted me to experience everything, he wanted me to feel a bigger cock than his (that was a difficult thing to find) he wanted more than that though, he wanted me to take two huge cocks while he watched. I eventually agreed because, well… I am a hedonist, nothing is ever ruled out and obviously this was with his blessing and was a shared fantasy, we have a book where we would write down our fantasies periodically and if any of them meshed we would play them out. This meshed, I had always wanted to experience DP but with the most well hung men I could find, always believing he would be one of them. There is no point in taking two average sized cocks when you are used to ten inches on a daily basis. The average sized cock will feel like finger foreplay. That sounds so dismissive of average sized men, it isn’t meant to be, I just know what my body needs.
A few weeks later, we were sat in a friend’s club and my lover mentioned that a couple of friends of his would be joining us. I had no idea who these friends were but I nodded and continued to watch the delightful spanking that was playing out in front of me, I was hot and horny, I had just had the most delicious spanking myself from him and my bottom was burning, my pussy was on fire she was so hungry for attention, and my mind was feral.
He knew exactly how to get me where I needed to be mentally to carry out his plans. A few hours passed, he played with me in front of an audience, taking me up onto the central stage in the room and exposed me to everyone watching. He stripped me naked slowly, applying his particular brand of sensations in layers over my body, he edged me as I lay spread out on the table bound by my wrists and ankles and he invited women to come and caress me, play with me, take me to the very edge of orgasm and then pull back. He had bigger plans, I had to wait for my release. I begged, he laughed, not cruelly, but knowingly, I am a hungry bitch when I am driven to that state and I was so feral by now I was snarling, eyes flashing, lips parted, body heaving against the restraints, I wanted filling, I wanted him. I needed to feel him sink himself deep inside me and fill me completely until there was no other sensation, no other person in the room, just him joined with me.
He blindfolded me, I freaked out at this, it was never something I was comfortable with but he would always push me past limits I thought I was set to. I quieted immediately, listening. I was released from my bindings and felt myself lifted from the hard table to a soft mattress and placed on my knees. He was displaying me once again. Legs spread to reveal my dripping swollen pussy, my wanton hunger evident to all. And then I felt him behind me, I was going to have my wish, he would fill me… I knew instantly it wasn’t him. I knew the very moment the man laid his hands on me that it wasn’t my lover it was a stranger. But damn he was huge! His girth was much wider than my lover, I thought I might actually tear he was so engorged, I could feel his rod pulsing deep inside me as he began to thrust slowly and I screamed in painful ecstasy as my climax rushed to the surface immediately, desperate to be free. I opened my mouth once more to release my cries and felt the head of his cock press against my lips. Once again I knew in an instant this was not my lover, I would recognise his taste, his scent anywhere. This was different, more salty, coupled with a pungent aroma that made my nose wrinkle, not distasteful, just different. My juices flowed, it was going to happen, he was watching me being fucked by his two friends. His fantasy would be played out, I was giving him his wish like a gift. God that made me so hot, so wild, my mind melted, all I could think of was he is sitting watching me take these two men inside my body, stretching me past my limits of endurance, he would be rock hard and stroking himself as he absorbed the image before him and stored it in his memory for us to share later that night. My body went into freefall, I was so desperate to cum, I opened my mouth wider and took that huge cock down my throat, good god I had never felt so completely full in my entire life, I heard my lover’s voice then, he whispered in my ear, let go, go deep and let go, take them both and let them fill you until that’s all there is, then cum for me baby…. jesus I came so hard… I have never experienced an orgasm like it since. It ripped through me and rolled, then rolled again, as one ended the next began and I sobbed and choked on the huge cock throbbing in my mouth, the cock pounding my pussy was buried to the hilt and he was groaning, I knew the were both close, the viens against my tongue were rigid, his grip on my head tight, the man’s grip on my hips even tighter as they increased their speed. Suddenly they were ordered to withdraw and release their cum over me… never inside me, that was his domain, he would not tolerate the scent of another man’s cum inside my body. But on it? Well, that was a different story, I was coated in thick layers of creamy hot cum as it was laced in copious amounts across my face, in my hair, across my bottom, in the small of my back and I sank down and lay flat as it cooled on my skin. Less than a minute passed before I felt a woman’s touch, cleaning me with her mouth, then another woman joined her until I was cleansed of all but the cum in my hair.
My blindfold was removed and he was there, in front of me waiting for me to crawl onto his lap and be held by him. My lover filled me himself and gave me his seed deep inside me, he warmed me, made me feel complete and utterly satiated. Neither of the two men had achieved that sensation, that was always reserved for him. I never even got to see them, they had disappeared before he removed my blindfold. They were his tools to give me my fantasy, nothing more and he gave it me to the very last word I had written in our book.
Enjoy your release michael my gorgeous little cuck, I hope you liked my little trip down memory lane. You are always worthy of my best memories darling man. 💎😈🍆💦🍆💦👄🔥🔥🔥💞💫💎