This essay focuses on the struggle some women face when trying to reconcile their good girl/naughty girl desires and offers a fresh framework for allowing both to co-exist peacefully.

It is the nature of our soul to flow towards perfection, and these visions often exist in our mind as archetypes – universal and timeless patterns of human thought and dreams. The archetypal dreams and aspirations that resonate most deeply will vary between individuals. However, we sometimes find ourselves in a state where two contrasting archetypes call to us. This is the case for women who simultaneously identify with the good girl and naughty girl archetypes. When a woman flows within the energy current of one archetype, she is simultaneously flowing away from the contrasting archetype. The tension she feels between those two opposing beliefs causes cognitive dissonance.

The contrasting good girl/naughty girl archetypes were recognized and well described by the ancient Greeks and were represented by Hestia and Aphrodite, respectively. Both goddesses held spiritual importance and both had temples of worship throughout Greek society. It is worth noting that sex, in the times of Ancient Greece, was not considered a sin. It was part of their humanity and celebrated. While the gods of the old world have faded and may not seem to have a role in our modern-day spirituality, perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss their relevance. Those timeless dreams and struggles that gave rise to those gods are still with us today.

As I sift through my past and explore my own dreams in search of deeper understanding, I am increasingly confronted with the presence and powerful influence of archetypes. Knowingly or not, they have influenced my life and assuredly those of others. Our draw to them is instinctual and flows from our soul. The influence of Hestia and Aphrodite, whether we are familiar with these goddesses or not, are still very present in our. Let’s look at them a little closer.

Hestia was known to the ancient Greeks as the goddess of the hearth and the eternal flame. She is symbolic of family, stability, and nurturing as well the spiritual center of home and public centers of gathering. The Olympic flame was first lit at the altar of Hestia in Greece well over 2000 years ago. Despite being the center of the home and representing family, she is identified as being a virgin which discouraged her sexualization. Perhaps you have heard the phrase “Vestal Virgins”? Vesta was the Roman equivalent of Hestia and Vestal Virgins were priestesses of Vesta (Hestia to the Greeks).

In contrast, Aphrodite is the goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. Aphrodite is highly sexualized. She is fully expressed female sexuality.

When it comes to Hestia and Aphrodite, this can be a problem for women…and men. When a woman’s primary energy flows towards Hestia OR Aphrodite, she will feel content to the degree she fulfills her primary archetypal calling. However, if a woman’s energy flows towards both Hestia AND Aphrodite, she experiences cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual holding two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. A woman cannot be highly sexual and non-sexual. A woman cannot, as a steady state, exist simultaneously as Hestia and Aphrodite.

Fortunately, there is a potential middle ground where women can flow between these archetypes. The Greeks recognized the psychology of transitions, thresholds, contrast, and duality as the archetypal domain of Dionysus – Greek god of wine, ecstasy (spiritual & physical), duality, liberation, and theatre. One of his key symbols is the mask. The mask is a threshold that blocks the outer world from seeing who is behind the mask. It also liberates the wearer of the mask (literally or figuratively) through anonymity to be what he/she wants to be, not what they are perceived to be by others. If we embrace the duality of our nature, rather than repressing or denying part of ourself, we are embracing Dionysian energy.

If a woman feels cognitive dissonance, she should recognize the pull of Hestia and Aphrodite in her life and accept that her feminine spirituality exists at the threshold between two archetypes. It is okay. Both archetypes are important and it is okay to embrace the calling of both…tending to one or the other as needed.

Embracing one’s dual nature can be a challenge and becomes even more complicated when we consider the male mind and desires. A man may also have a preference for Hestia or Aphrodite as his ideal woman. He may dream of and crave Hestia as his anchor and center of his home. He dreams of a wife that is a wonderful homemaker and mother to his children. He may not want to sexualize his wife and finds comfort in her not having these desires. She is above such base desires and is placed upon a pedestal of purity. He may find peace of mind (but low sex drive) with Hestia and her infinite devotion and fidelity. Men also dream of and desire Aphrodite, the sexual and eroticized goddess. We want her for reasons that Hestia doesn’t fulfill. However, men face the same challenge women face. Men can’t have both goddesses in their infinite and perfect forms in one woman. Like women, man’s desire for both leads to cognitive dissonance and damaged relationships. In its extreme, this is also known as the Madonna – Whore complex.

How might we find our way through this cognitive dissonance? Understanding the seven forms of love can help frame this struggle. In Seven Forms of Love  I explored three elements – passion, commitment, and intimacy – that intermingle to create seven forms of love with consummate love being the highest order.

Aphrodite can give us Infatuation, Romantic Love, or Fantasy Love. Hestia can provide for Friendship Love, Empty Love, or Companionate Love. Neither goddess fulfills the highest love – Consummate Love. What we need is a combination of Hestia and Aphrodite to reach Consummate Love.

From a man’s perspective, I need to understand my desires clearly. I need the archetypal energy of Hestia AND Aphrodite. However, I must recognize that I can’t expect them to exist simultaneously in their divine, infinite perfection in a woman. They are conflicting states of perfection. I need to be more forgiving when my lover isn’t channeling her inner Aphrodite when I want her to be. I also need to support her efforts to fulfill her inner Hestia and acknowledge this as equally important to her (and to me). I must recognize that she also faces her own internal struggle trying balancing the archetypal energies.

While it may seem that men are highly focused on sex, the Hestia archetype does call to us. Men do appreciate Hestia even if we aren’t aware of it or seemingly take her energy for granted. When we don’t express our gratitude for Hestia, remind us why it is important to you and the value you receive from fulfilling your inner Hestia. Your nurturing and tending to your family fulfills a goddess in you that isn’t sexual but one that is equally important to your spirituality.

Women are also faced with situations where her man may place a higher value on Hestia and discourages Aphrodite. Some men deny their lover’s sexuality and consider it too wild, as if it is wrong. We must acknowledge that women are also sexual beings with physical needs and desires. While women may honor and tend to their inner Hestia, most don’t want to be Vestal Virgins. Part of the challenge for men, as lovers, is to create emotionally safe situations for our lover to release and fulfill her inner Aphrodite. Men need the presence of this erotic goddess and so do women.

While I have focused on Hestia and Aphrodite in this essay, there is a somewhat equivalent archetypal state of cognitive dissonance for men. Do we aspire to be the steady, logical, brilliant, and polished Apollo or does the original bad boy – the wild, ecstatic Dionysus call to us? What archetypal energy does our lover crave from us? The discussion for this follows the same pattern as Hestia vs. Aphrodite with the same conclusion. As lovers, we can all do better for each other and ourselves. Awareness of these archetypes is an important first step. Tapping into and balancing the eternal flow of archetypal energy is a lifelong quest and journey worth taking…for yourself and your lover.

52 thoughts on “Cognitive Dissonance: Hestia vs Aphrodite

  1. Michael, you are a smart, smart man. I so agree with this. None of us are all one thing or another and to try to hold someone to what you believe they should be is damaging to a relationship. I have heard this as the virgin vs whore dichotomy- that some men stop seeing their wives as sexual beings and sort of worship them as this sweet pure homemaker. Then they want someone they see as a wonton sexual being to give their passion to. Such a shame, because I believe we are both. I am certainly both and sometimes I do feel a sort of cognitive dissonance about it. Like, if some people who know me in real life, knew how much I like/think about sex(and they know somewhat because I’m pretty open but still they don’t know the half of it, lol), they would be shocked and think I was wrong for it. Because I have kids, I’m sweet and kind and wholesome, etc.
    Anyway, that’s enough babbling on your post, lol. I hope you get to make muffins AND have a threesome soon! 😀

    1. Sexy (and smart!) Aurora, your thoughtful comments are always such special gifts…I truly cherish them. :-* I had never heard of the virgin-whore dichotomy. I’m going to add it as a “tag”, ha! Hopefully, this at least put a little different spin on it. I agree with you that we can be both at times. I’m thinking about you being so sweet, wholesome, and naughty…baking muffins in nothing but an apron right now! :P<3 Sorry, I got distracted. Your thoughts around what other women think and perhaps pressure women place on one another to be a certain way is interesting. I didn't touch on that but the societal pressure is an important part of this too. Glad you liked the muffin and threesome conclusion. I was feeling so stuffy writing this and needed a little friskiness at the end! 🙂

      1. I had never heard of the Hestia Aphrodite dichotomy either so we’re even! 😊 I enjoy your writing always, Michael. You are always so reflective and that ability is rare I find. Thoughtful reflections help us to be the best we can be I think. Ha ha! That’s something I would totally do with no kids around. Naked is fun!

        1. I made that one up…I should copyright it, ha! I am sure you are a wonderful mother and Hestia. And, when the kids aren’t around or you are escaping into WP…clearly a delicious Aphrodite! :-*<3

  2. Love love LOVE this and thank you for sharing something that really made me look and think ☺️💕💪🏽

    1. Thank you so much, Selina! So glad it caught your cat-like eyes. I really appreciate you checking this out and sharing your reaction. 🙂

  3. Beautiful post Michael 🙂

    1. Thank you, Simona 🙂 As always, I appreciate you stopping by to explore a post ❤

  4. Michael, this is an amazingly insightful post at a time when I’ve been exploring these two edges within myself. While I have that inner Aphrodite, my comfort zone persona is generally quite nerdy and earthy.
    It is also nice to have a male perspective on this as it also gives me better insight into both my marriage as well as a role play relationship I recently had. Things were very vanilla back then, almost formulaic. I yearned for more and didn’t know how to express it. Meanwhile in the role play, I was able to learn a way to express some of my deepest sexual desires in a way that felt safe and that I felt unattached to how he would view me. It opened up a new world for me in many ways, at least mentally!
    Funny how even at a distance you are a muse for me…. I had started to write about this role play interaction over a month ago and it fell under dust when things fell apart. Your post gave my desire to write about role playing a new breath of life (My final post will link to this one.) Most of all I have a new understanding of why this experience was so hot for me and my role play partner.
    Thank you for this post, Michael!
    PS I see you have been busy! In doing a search to get to your site I discovered your work on deviant art. I love the witchy woman and mermaid!
    PSS “the summer of Sam” has a couple that portrays the virgin-whore dichotomy that Aurora mentions. The husband only has sex with his wife in missionary, with the lights off and her in a nightgown. She begs for more interaction. Then he fucks whores in the back seats of cars to get his sexual desires met…

    1. Wow, you left some wonderful magic in this reply. So many fun and sexy thoughts to absorb and savor, mmmm! You know I appreciate your struggle with the scales and searching finding balance. The progress you have made to become more in touch and comfortable with your flow towards Aphrodite–I believe you sometimes refer this often as leading with your inner feminine, or releasing your goddess. I’m fascinated by your upcoming story on role play and mental stimulation within a relationship. While I’ve written about this primarily in the context of cuckolding the underlying tenets apply to tapping into any form sexual fantasy. It moves us from–love how you characterized this–the formulaic vanilla existense which kills the passion once driving Romantic Love. Thank you too for the Deviant Art comments! 😀 I’m not very active there but wanted to see what it was all about and if there were any synergies to be found. The jury on it is still out, ha! I’ll be sharing those images here too and really flattered that you liked them. <3:-* Scanned the description of the movie you referenced…sounds rough. I can definitely imagine a hotter story to be told! 🙂

      1. Oh, the summer of Sam couple is not primary to the story….just a relationship impression that has stuck with me for a while.
        I’ve had some more time to reflect on the dichotomies here and seeing how they have played a role in several ways through out my life. Suffice it to say that I find myself more attracted to men who have been able to see me as both nurturing and a vixen.
        Looking forward to more of your art. It’s quite well done.

  5. this is really great. for many, many years i found myself playing the role of Hestia yet struggling with the ever present Aphrodite (that i would try and squash down). not realizing i could have both, be both. once i did though… holy fuck what an awakening. to be able to love and accept all parts of your being is an incredible gift to oneself. threesomes and all. 😉

    1. You channel your Hestia and Aphrodite so wonderfully–only affirmation here! 😀 It is interesting how so many women struggle with this and I’m sure, at times, guys don’t make the struggle any easier. Your gift to yourself is also a gift to others and I thank you for it, sexy girl! :-*

  6. RushmoreJudd

    very interesting post. it will stick with me for awhile. thanks

    1. Thank you, Rushmore! Glad it had some traction and you enjoyed it 🙂

  7. It is a good interesting post that many should read. Everyone has more than one side to them some people are either afraid or don’t know how to live out each part of themselves. Balance is a important thing because the soul mind soul and body all need to be taken care of all need to be touched in a certain way. It’s like being sweet and spicy or as I say sweet and sexy.

    1. Very well said, beautiful Morgan. I imagine you take great care of both sides. Tapping into your Aphrodite, I can almost feel those words and emotions flowing smoothly of your sexy lips right now…. 🙂

      1. Yes I do, both sides are important. You make a certain part of very sultry……. reading your words make my fingers, wonder into that sultry place. Imaging your fingers, You’re a sexy leo lion

        1. Morgan, you are quite the enchanting seductress….mmmm!:-* As I think about you reading and flowing through my thoughts and fantasies as your fingers find their way to your silky wetness…I’m intensely aroused. It is something we have created together and I want to feel your fire, sexy girl :-*

  8. Mia (Copper Cranes)

    Michael, this is a fantastic and beautifully written post, full of insight and wisdom.
    ~ Mia

    1. Thank you Mia, glad you enjoyed it. 🙂 I have to give something like this a try every now and then just to pull some thoughts together along the journey. Hope you had a great day! 🙂

      1. You’re welcome Michael, I did enjoy it. Hmm… “just pull some thoughts together”, this is an excellent write. Your exploration and narrative on the “Cognitive Dissonance: Hestia vs. Aphrodite” is impressive, detailed, and very well thought out. You’re full of surprises. Thank you for the kind wishes, I hope your day was great too! 🙂

  9. Don'y You Forget About Me

    A very well thought out and presented post that has given me lots to contemplate on in how ideals of archetypes may have shaped my own opinion of myself.

    I’m fascinated by the ‘pre-wiring’ concept of the human brain as Jung, Plato, and even Einstein expanded their thoughts and thinking on the subject and spent their lifetimes in research.

    How does one explain the ‘just knowing’ something as fact or that they’ve met their one(when talking about love)? How do we know? Is it a delusion? I don’t think so. Synchronicity is too hard to duplicate, that’s just my opinion.

    Maybe this “knowing’ is a coping mechanism to comfort ourselves that we, as an evolved species, still really don’t have all the answers to the Universe- or concept of Universe that we know? Maybe we make it all completely up, for it’s better to have an answer, no matter how mind expanding it sounds to others, than possess no answer for unexplained things, thoughts and feelings?
    Or is it more?
    Maybe it is traces of past knowledge and memory that our most capable brains have stored and passed down to us through the Divine with abilities that really haven’t been proven or documented other than strong belief that we only use about 10% of our brains, what else are we capable of knowing with 90% more?
    Or wilder yet and a mind blowing concept- these knowing knowledge memories could be given to us genetically? Keeping us ALL connected on a cellular level as Einstein theorized. He said- ‘there is no absolute space-time coordinate system, so there are no absolute positions in time and space. All times and positions are relative.’ On your Hestia vs. Aphrodite train of thought, you pointed out being in conflict with one another if trying to be them at the same time, there his theory makes a lot sense. It’s all relative and possible to be each, just not at the same time. Even men should/could be faced with being Hestia or Aphrodite on some level at times in their lives depending on their ying and yang of feminine and masculine make ups. Don’t you think?
    Goodness I better stop before I keep going and make you think I’m entirely nuts! lol

    I know there are a lot of holes in my theories and flaws in my questions. I was just spitting them out as fast as I was thinking them. You sparked my neurons and made them jump in all kinds of directions with your post! 🙂

    1. Sorry for the delayed reply. I had replied earlier but hadn’t linked it to your original comment I replied: Wow, your sparked neurons resulted in a fascinating comment!🙂 I like the way you think and write. I haven’t read too much on Einstein’s theories…so many great thinkers before us and so little time to explore them in a meaningful way. I do find it interesting that you have picked up on some intersections in their work. Now, I’m going to have to read more and dig deeper, ha! I don’t mean to be plugging other posts I’ve written but, if you haven’t read it, I think you might find Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire an interesting read. It touches on your comment about love (perhaps soul mates) and advances the point that “soul mate” may actually be an infinite and divine projection from our soul on a finite being and not sustainable…an illusion. To your point, this feeling and yearning is something we are each pre-wired with. Your thoughts and inquiries around knowledge, untapped mental capacity, and the quest for answers is…fun and mind blowing.😉 Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment. This is kind of comment that I will come back to time and again to check my own beliefs…see what I may have overlooked in my thinking…and to think about the new paths/questions to explore that you posed in your comments. Truly, a fascinating comment!

    2. Wow, your sparked neurons resulted in a fascinating comment! 🙂 I like the way you think and write. I haven’t read too much on Einstein’s theories…so many great thinkers before us and so little time to explore them in a meaningful way. I do find it interesting that you have picked up on some intersections in their work. Now, I’m going to have to read more and dig deeper, ha! I don’t mean to be plugging other posts I’ve written but, if you haven’t read it, I think you might find Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire an interesting read. It touches on your comment about love (perhaps soul mates) and advances the point that “soul mate” may actually be an infinite and divine projection from our soul on a finite being and not sustainable…an illusion. To your point, this feeling and yearning is something we are each pre-wired with. Your thoughts and inquiries around knowledge, untapped mental capacity, and the quest for answers is…fun and mind blowing. 😉 Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment. This is kind of comment that I will come back to time and again to check my own beliefs…see what I may have overlooked in my thinking…and to think about the new paths/questions to explore that you posed in your comments. Truly, a fascinating comment!

  10. Yesenia Faye

    I’ve always loved greek mythology, and other mythologies, and have also found an astounding source of inspiration in ancient beliefs. But i love how you displayed what Hestia meant. Like everyone knows that Aphrodite was the desirable showy sex idol, but i’ve never though of Hestia the way you’ve portrayed her.

    that’s a lot to chew on mentally lol. I especially like your comparison of the two and how in a man’s world one or the other is preferred. That dichotomy is definitely something to consider when mulling over ideas about love and romance. should we seek out ultimate ideals? or search for a messy cross between everything the world has to offer?

    personally, i’d want the mess. it’s more fun, more painful (through which more educational), and ultimately more rewarding.

    there’s a lot to think about and process here. awesome post 🙂

    1. Thanks for checking this one out, Yesenia. 🙂 Loved your comment too…it is a lot to chew on, ha! I’m with you on the messy in between as a preference (please pardon the sexual innuendo). I think if we can just recognize there are multiple “ideals of perfection” we are unknowingly being pulled towards, we can reduce a lot of the disillusionment we experience with ourselves and others chasing infinite spaces on earth. We can be sexy AND we can be other ways too…like Hestia. We just have to recognize the edges and flow between them at different times. Anyway, sorry for the long reply. Glad you enjoyed! ❤

      1. Yesenia Faye

        🙂I always kind of loved Hestia. She wasn’t flashy sexy, but quiet sexy. And that’s my favorite kind of sexy.

        But definitely. Modern “ideals” of beauty are too narrow (almost literally). And perhaps that’s why so many people aren’t feeling their relationships/marriages and feel the need to pursue a counselor or even a divorce. “we can reduce a lot of the disillusionment” (love this btw) by just accepting that flaws are part of the perfection and not something to cut away.

  11. I’ve seen the this in the same woman but I had never distinguished the two as separate entities of a woman that is important part of her to live life to the fullest. My partner is both and I love her just as much when she is Hestia as when she is Aphrodite. This post is not only informational but it makes me think about my partner even more and the beautiful mother an sexy woman she is.

    1. This is a beautiful expression of appreciation and love you have shared for your lover. She sounds like an amazing women! She is also very fortunate to have a man like you and, hopefully, she knows and values this. Hope you are having a great week Sid 🙂

  12. So interesting! I am very low Hestia, not a mother, not a very good homemaker…. much to my husband’s chagrin! Although, he doesn’t take nearly enough advantage of my Aphrodite side as I would like. But I digress… :p Michael, I have a book on my pile that you might find interesting. I haven’t read it yet, but I read an extensive interview with the author in Salon magazine. The book is called ‘Girls and Sex’ and the author’s name is Peggy Orenstein. Basically, she writes about how young girls are taught either directly or indirectly that they are giving sex, they are to be ‘used’ for a man’s pleasure. This is not always overt but can be very subtle. Girls aren’t taught to expect their own pleasure and most women don’t find out about the female orgasm until way after their first sexual experiences. I think this is related to your Hestia vs Aphrodite post in that the Hestia behavior is taught, whereas the Aphrodite is not! Do you know what I mean? Really interesting material. I will go read some of the related posts as I have time.

    1. Wow, Grace…this is a rich comment. I’m not just a naughty boy, I love these cerebral replies too! 🙂 It is interesting just in those few lines how sort of characterized the essence of this post. You long to channel more of your Aphrodite and your husband perhaps favors your Hestia. But you find your happy middle ground 🙂 Thanks for sharing your insight from ‘Girls and Sex’. This sounds fascinating and a rich filter for me to run some of my beliefs through. I wrote about an experience a few post ago about a virgin I dated in my early 20’s and why I finally walked away. To your point, the presence of her Aphrodite was not there…be it not taught or not desired. I suspect some Eastern cultures may have a unique spin on this but that something for future noodling on. Loved this…thanks for the thought provoking comments. :-*

      1. My pleasure, Michael. Looking forward to more thought provoking posts to discuss!

  13. Michael… you must have put in some really valuable time in writing this post…

    So detailed… and I now understand the meaning of hestia Aphrodite… so much more and with so much knowledge of the real depth of its meaning..

    It was just a delightful and enlightening read..

    1. Thank you Nita, this was a bit more cerebral than the usual erotic fare but sometimes I need to explore and think through these things. Ultimately, every story has a lesson for me and I use post like this to reflect and learn. I’m glad you found it informative. You definitely channel and exude a high level of Aphrodite but I am sure you are a delightful Hestia as well☺️😘

      1. Oooooh my my. You succeed in making me smile again… I love this about you..
        you are so much more than a highly sexual beast.. Pieces like this make me see that other intellectual and amazing size of you.. you have such depths… and passion about everything you do. And I’m reflecting and learning with you…

        So you think I channel and exudes Aphrodite… and you are my aphrodisiac Michael…I take you in big doses..

        As for being a delightful hestia..
        I guess I play that role when necessary…

        With a man like you a woman would be left with no choice but to exude high level of Aphrodite

  14. […] Cognitive Dissonance: Hestia vs. Aphrodite […]

  15. […] to see the sexual transformation she goes through during you cuckold play. I wrote a post called: Cognitive Dissonance – Hestia vs. Aphrodite that looks at the struggle women go through when trying to balance being a good wife, mother, and […]

  16. […] dichotomy a couple times in your recent replies. I once wrote a bit on this in a post called Hestia vs. Aphrodite: Cognitive Dissonance. This is something that is very real and it is tough for women to successfully navigate their […]

  17. Just as a little preface to what is going to be a long comment…I skipped through most of the comments because… I want you so much and want to imagine you being blinded with desire for me so…anyway…

    First…my god…you are SUCH a good writer, expressive and eloquent, engaging and mesmerising, in-depth and thus deeply connected. I feel as though we may have followed the same routes education-wise? I have a BA in English literature, film and drama. And by profession I’m an English teacher (and a singer for a few years 😉) You write like the most magnetic philosophy or literature lecturer, then smoothly move into hyper desirable, sexual guru…I like the combo 😉😘 Or maybe I’m your student…mmmmm

    So…also, this entire piece…this is ME. This is the battle I constantly have, tumultuous and hectic in my mind causing rifts and ripples irreparable in my everyday life…

    Sometimes I get the perfect balance of these two Goddess… sometimes…utter failure.
    I ADORE that this beautiful, expressive, philosophical and analytical post came from you…from your gorgeous mind. I feel like I am knowing you a little more with each word. And you make feel as though…you have a million layers , or a beautiful and infinite cosmic particles and I want to know each one intimately.
    What are your thoughts on the good/evil woman in mythology? I am enamoured by your intelligence and want to share thoughts with you. I often feel that I am battling 2 sides of myself…I struggle with guilt, then total lack of remorse for…some people.
    And your opening paragraphs about never forgetting the universal consciousness and legacy of our ancients could have been plucked out of my head and articulated by you here.

    I love that this is your first proper post… the previous ones felt unfamiliar, though hypnotically written, but this piece…ironically , feels like home 😏

    YOU have MY full attention, Michael. Full and flowing…

    1. This IS a long comment, but I have savored each mouth watering and soul stirring word.💗 Love knowing that you are an English Lit major and teacher plus have experience in film and drama. This isn’t surprising at all because I see and feel an immensely creative and talented presence in you (and so hot and sexy!) My undergrad and graduate degrees are in business…my particular interests are strategy and marketing. I have always had a strong interest in philosophy and psychology and have fun continuing to learn about these domains with romance as the canvas. It feels a bit more engaging this way 😛Whew, the way you craft your thoughts leave me flushed and so very alive and aroused (the comment on literature lecture then hyper-desirbale…). I’m beyond flattered that you feel this way…it is a special gift from you.🌹This struggle is between Hestia and Aphrodite is something I stumbled across in a thought spiral. I’ve sense learned that isn’t actually a new discovery, lol! But, it was new to me and I think it can really help women and men to understand the eternal forces that pull at us…to realize we can’t be both simultaneously. This is the duality and contrast again represented, I believe, by Dionysus. He is both edges but not at the same time. If we as people falling in love can appreciate this, I believe there is a lesson to be learned that can help us through the inevitable descent from the transcendent highs of romantic love. We can manage expectations of our lover when Hestia is being fulfilled and, if a man prefers Hestia, we can help him understand that Aphrodite lives in every woman…and make it safe for her to embrace her sexual goddess. I’m glad you found this post and feel more at home… Here, let me show you around… Here is my bedroom Aphrodite and over here is my hearth, Hestia. We will spend a lot of time in both spaces…😈😇

      1. You are so right and on point about this whole philosophy that I urge you to write a book, Michael. Seriously. You could change the landscape of relationships forever!
        I love that I get you and your words speak to me. Among other things…
        If I’m honest, I think I may have a little addiction to cycle you speak of. In a way, I feel…special that I know this about myself and you verbalised it so beautifully that I was immediately drawn to this post and you. You speak a truth whose seeds were seen millenia ago, and now you’ve crafted that truth into a beauty ready to touch the souls of all who read it, but who must be awake enough to understand it.
        Mmmm…spending time in two of your most intimate spaces… yes please…I’m already there, waiting. I may have even undresses in front of the hearth, too warm and aroused to make it to the bedroom

  18. I came back here because I have a surprising piece of free time on a Saturday which is unusual, as you know. I knew I wanted to write something to you, and this has been in my mind for weeks… so enjoy this extra tid bit from me. Yes, I could have told you this all in private but… it’s a little more naughty this way, isn’t it? And just as a btw…I’ve decided to stop reading your comments to others…for my own sanity! 😂😏

    When I first read this post of yours , I thought wow… he’s GOOD. And what I meant was…you encapsulated in one fell swoop, what every (probably) woman feels within her soul and as such, you magnetised every woman towards you in that one post. Women have and will read this post and feel like you are talking ONLY to her. It’s masterful and covertly manipulative, with your innocent, thoughtful side playing pawn to your desirous passionate side, surreptitiously drawing women towards you, enticing them with deep thought, philosophy, mythology, sensuality and a mirror to their most inner selves. You did it to me , I’ll admit, and I loved it, but I’m proud that through this I SEE YOU. I know, I feel how your mind works and that is the cornerstone of our connection.

    I AM these two divinities, these two opposing goddesses, and if we were ever to touch souls and bodies in real life, you would taste both of these deities in me because they are both screaming, reaching out to you , desiring to exist within your magnetism.

    The scene is a warm, cozy, essence – filled room…dark but not pitch black, lit by candles and soft amber lights. The embodiment of the gorgeous concept of “hygge”.
    The scent of your favourite food fills the air, I have been preparing it all day, pouring my heart and need into each ingredient, each stir, each dripping taste I bring to my lips to make sure everything is perfect for you.
    I wear only an apron…only. Strewn across the floor around a low, warm oak table are pillows which will seat us, hold us, caress us… later. I’m wearing a vanilla scent, with notes of cinnamon, coconut and my own sweet essence. My hair is up in a lose hold for now…waiting to be released all over my bare, naked shoulders whenever you want.
    When I see you, I kiss you deeply, caressing the back of your neck as I allow my hand to wade through your hair…You return my kiss with deep need and hunger, biting my lips, exploring my bare back as your throbbing warmth hardens with every opening of our mouths on each other. I moan against your lips in an anticipation which is aching for you.
    We spend the evening hyptonised by each other’s presence, never averting our eyes from each other.
    Everything I have adoringly prepared, I feed to you with my fingers…this fuels our fire as you luck and such every last drop of food and love from my hands. I keep your wine and…other things flowing…you are in a trance, you are safe, you are taken care of by me…I respond to your every need, every want, bringing you taste after taste of the abrosia I’ve cooked up for you…you are intoxicated, literally and… figuratively for me, only me and everything I am for you.
    I tell you that you are precious, beautiful, a brimming intellect, a profound human being, deeply feeling the earth that we all inhabit, and slowly moving towards my realm, where only you and I exist, on another plane…you have never felt so at home and yet so…aroused.
    The room is warm…you take off your shirt and remain only in your slacks. I am reclining on a bed of pillows filled with the sustenance I’ve lovingly showered on you and anticipating the next…step.
    I see your need for me, pronounced, longing…aching. your eyes glazed with adoration for me. In my submission…I know I am not the only woman in your life…but right now they can all fuck off from your life and mind because you ONLY WANT ME right now, in this tiny spec of time that is lasting forever.
    You stand up, your belly full and satisfied , your heart swelling with comfort and satisfaction, your soul brimming with a sense of safety and yet…you want to make love to me…you want to drive me insane with your sweet caresses , with your lips and tongue…you NEED to be inside me in every way.
    You stand…your slacks unzipped , your desire free from its prison in more ways than one…and the look in your eyes awakens my sex. Awakens my need. Makes me shed this chrysalis of mother, nurturer…urges me to release my sexual, rampant goddess…opens me up.
    You stand, the alpha that you are, erect in front of me and give me your warm hand to stand up.
    We are face to face , with cosmic particles sparking and sparkling in the infinitesimal space between us and you reach behind me to deftly undo my apron strings…as you hook your fingers under the straps of the apron, the back of your strong hands brush against my erect nipples and I moan in desire for you.
    You wrap your hands around my bare body, but not before taking in the sight of me bare, angelic yet wanton in front of you…and we create a night of unparalleled, unbridled, pure…desire…
    What next?
    I can continue here if you wish Michael…or in private. Just tell me what to do. I love it so much when you do.


  19. This was a great read, thank you for sharing! I did therapy with a depth psychologist once, and we did a lot of dream exploration. I learned more about myself in those few sessions than during any other time in my life. Very cool stuff!

    1. Thank you Nora, always enjoy hearing about experiences. I believe you are definitely working on tapping into and releasing your Aphrodite 🔥

  20. Excellent. You make some very good points.

    1. I’m glad a few thoughts were somewhat plausible, at least. Thank you, Tara ☺️

  21. I love Greek mythology cause of the way women were/are worshipped. And the individual power they wield not just over a man, but in general with such confidence and sexuality. I like to think of myself as a cross between Aphrodite and Hera 🤔 not sure who I identify more with.

    1. Perhaps the blending of the two – and your peace with that blend – is the ideal space to be in. Hope you have been able to tap into Aphrodite in some way during these times of being somewhat locked down.

      1. Every now and then I do, when I’m not exhausted from work lol. Sometimes I do think “oh damn…when was the last time I enjoyed myself?” Smh then I get to bed and end up falling asleep LOL. You can only be battery operated for so long 😂😂

        1. The real thing is going to be long overdue and so needed, that’s for sure.🔥

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