Sakura’s American Exposure (Part I)

Sakura’s American Exposure is part narrative, part erotica, and part interview all wrapped in a bow of sexual psychology. My collaborator is Sakura, a young twenty-something woman living in Japan. Our exploration involves consensual role play culminating with forced restraint and sex. I believe the term for this is consensual, non-consensual role play.

“Me agree you do series and understand me want to end up hold down with having your big hard cock inside small pussy me. Me want to know you this and me will let you do series and upload on your page.” ~ Sakura

Our connection sparked when Sakura left an aroused, flirtatious comment on this image:

While clearly browsing erotic content, Sakura came across as a somewhat sweet, innocent, and bashful Asian girl. At least this is how she behaves in public. Like many women across different cultures, Sakura has a wild side that yearns to be free. These yearnings, I soon discover, flow around exhibitionism, erotic humiliation, interracial sex, and perhaps some form of “woman in peril” fantasy. The singular thread connecting her fantasies appears to be the erotic rush she experiences when indulging in behaviors which rub up against her societal norms.

Why me? Sakura was interested in some role play and wanted to see if I would be willing to make a 3D model of her for our story. Not a problem. Assuming she wanted a model with personal resemblance, I requested a couple photo references. I asked for a face photo (or detailed description), a full body photo that showcased her figure. Turning up the heat a little, I also requested a topless photo so I could get get a good look at her breasts. I also asked how she grooms her pussy and requested a photo. It’s a lot to ask for a woman to reveal but visuals I had a legitimate need for…as an artist. About a day later, Sakura nervously shared a private link to a few images…

Me not sure what me feel. Heart me still beating fast. Me realize now you truly have the pictures. Me think excitement is there also but also feeling me not have control over pictures. Me truly gave to other person and now not bf only can see for me as this.

Of course, it was really hot to have this sexy Asian girl (with a boyfriend) sharing nude photos with me. She seemed to trust me which I genuinely appreciated and will certainly honor her trust. Even hotter though was seeing her fantasy opening before my eyes…along with her images. Sakura revealed herself with great hesitation and angst as the tension between her veil of angelic purity and desire to explore her wild side began to tighten. Sakura received a notification that I checked out her photos, and her erotic swirl began to spin wildly.

Omg and you have real topless picture me..showing face me too…. Me did it, me did for real. Can not change now. Please download quickly so me can delete ok? Heart me go boom, boom, boom a lot now. Me feel very much nervous because me have bf and he not knowing, but me decided to do this. Me promise you me will stop to worry. Me know you can make drawing real good so face in drawing will be me.

Sakura’s fantasy is intriguing. She is going through a layer of exhibitionism with me and seems to find excitement in losing “control” of her photos. While she hasn’t shared her photos publicly, she is excited about me doing so…at least my artistic representations of her. I’m not sure what to make of our exchange and what is driving her excitement. She could do all of this herself. Why does she need me? My wheels are turning as I consider the possibilities.

Does Sakura finds arousal in losing control? What is her boyfriend’s role in this? She claims to be doing this without his knowledge so that probably rules out cuckolding. Maybe having an affair adds an erotic layer of excitement. A “good girl” certainly wouldn’t behave like this. There is more though to Sakura’s fantasy. One of my key learnings from studying female submission, is that submissive mind space affords women with a guilt-free path to explore their naughty desires. A submissive’s sexual exploration and experiences come from pleasing her Dom. She is only being a good girl by obeying her Dom and has “no control” over the situations her Sir puts her in.

This is the great irony of D/s relationships. When a woman “gives up control” and enters a state of submission, she ultimately becomes sexually free. Sakura is giving me the power to put her in situations she can’t do for herself. She would never put a picture of her pussy on one of her websites. However, she finds it incredibly exciting knowing that I might do it…that I have the power to do it.

As our conversation continues, it becomes surprisingly clear that Sakura believes I am one of the black men appearing in my art. Ah, another erotic layer may be swirling through her fantasy. I’m not sure if she truly believes this or if it is part of the role play, but I go along with it. Perhaps this sweet, little Asian girl carries the erotic energy of the big black cock fantasy?  I ask if this is why she reached out to me.

Me feel happy you tell me that big black man really you. Me not know much but did hear black man very big. Me small. Me not know what you going to do with me in scenes but me agreed to big black man with small Asian girl. Me know me will get forced into situation…

Sakura continues to reveal the erotic layers of her secret desires. Being taken by a big, strong black man with a huge cock is one of them. I realize black men, in American and European erotic circles, have a reputation for being well endowed. Does this sexual mythology flow within the erotic dreams of some Asian women? I describe “myself” as 6′ 3″ with a 9.5″ cock and describe how amazing it is going to feel having her tiny Asian pussy stretched tight around my big black cock.

Me realize you is taller me really a lot and much much stronger too. Me understand me end up naked and omg you will make drawing you fucking me and you going to show all your followers that your hard big black cock penetrating small little pussy me…24 cm (9.5″) is very, very, very deep.(BLUSH) OMG This is such a big step me!!!!!

Sakura clearly liked my description and seems to savor the visual of having “my” big black dick in her tiny pussy. Naturally, I’m curious about her boyfriend’s endowment. Does he have a little penis? Is this why she is craving a bigger, more fulfilling cock?

Please, no more about bf, I love him and he do good job.

Sakura quickly comes to her boyfriend’s defense and praises his performance. I was anticipating a bit of small-penis teasing here but obviously missed the mark. Perhaps she is feeling a little guilty for going behind his back, sharing nude photos, and discussing sexual fantasies with another man. Diminishing her man about having a small cock or being sexually inadequate in any way was one step too far for Sakura. If lack of endowment or overall performance isn’t the issue, maybe he’s too vanilla? I apologize for suggesting her boyfriend has a tiny penis and ask if he is into restraining and taking her.

No, never!! He not like this. 

This question hits the mark. Once again, I find myself engaging with a sexually charged woman that, for whatever reason, isn’t able to express or experience the fullness of her sexuality with the man she loves. I explore a few underlying theories for this situation in my Hestia-Aphrodite: Cognitive Dissonance essay. The salient point here is that Sakura is feeling sexually repressed by the traditions and societal expectations cast on her and carried by her boyfriend.

Sakura feels compelled to release at least a portion of this pent up sexual energy. Her only outlet is to do so secretly beyond the boundaries of a sexually repressive society and expectations of her proper boyfriend. Even though she is limiting this release to a virtual setting and framing it as being “against her will”, her desire is very real. What really makes Sakura’s pussy wet is the fantasy of being sexually ravaged by a large, muscular black man; exposed publicly for her deviant sexual indiscretion; and being humiliated. Sakura is railing against everything society says she shouldn’t do. This is Sakura’s Dionysian Experience.

To be continued…

Additional chapters from Sakura’s American Exposure will be published on my Patreon site: The Dollhouse Studio.