There was a period in my life where I had an online presence offering sexual services for married women in need of discreet interludes, cuckold couples, and occasionally for single women.
My profile was distinctive. I had dozens of sensual, nude photos tended to with the same care I now devote to my digital art. The videos were where the real magic happened thought. I would strip seductively before the camera with trance music playing while slowly removing my clothes and then stroking my hard cock while viewers and myself enjoyed a very satisfying ending. I also shared carefully cropped videos of me with a lover (with her consent of course) making love…and fucking. You may have seen some of my digital art videos – just insert me and a lover with music, videos, photos, and dreamy transitions and you can get a sense for how it might have looked.
How did the women respond? Here’s one response:
Impressive, truly rocked my world, curled my toes, deepened my breathing, quickened my pulse…made me want to surrender to the dream, cash in one of my three wishes..to awaken the senses of…yes, a true master of passion, thank you for making my day!
The details of my experiences will unfold over the course of the year in the Stiletto Diary. However, the question for this present post is – why? Why did I feel compelled to live out this dream? Some of the rationale likely stems from events in the Shadow post which explores my mother’s suicide and how it may have influenced my interactions with women. Another contributing reason may have been my drive to create and entertain. Exhibitionism is part of this drive. A third influence, which I will focus on today, was a movie I saw as an impressionable early teen called American Gigolo.
There is one particular scene in this movie that sparked my imagination. Early in the movie, we look in on the main character (played by Richard Gere) involved in a steamy sex scene with a woman. The camera pans around the room beyond the hot and sweaty couple to reveal another man sitting in a chair…watching. This other man is the woman’s husband – a cuckold – and he was watching his wife being fucked.
As a kid, I wondered about the man in the chair and the pain he must have felt watching another man take his wife. It seemed like it must have been so painful and hurtful. Oddly, he didn’t appear to be suffering at all and might have actually been enjoying himself. I didn’t understand it but was fascinated with how that experience played out in their relationship. Did these types of relationships actually exist?
I also thought about the gigolo’s pleasure but sensed the superficiality of it all and his lack of emotional connection. Still, there was something about him that resonated. He was fit, stylish, had an awesome car, plenty of pussy, and seemed to be “living the dream”. It isn’t much of a stretch to suggest that many teenage boys harbor fantasies of being in high demand for sex. We exhaust ourselves chasing girls – I know I did. What would it be like to have women and couples pursuing me for sexual pleasure? What would I need to do or become to find myself in such a position?
As I thought about the gigolo, I knew that even if I somehow managed to attain that level of sexual prowess, it would only be a facade. I could play the role of fuck boy but my soul was too gentle, kind, and sensual to actually become that person. For example, I once failed a science project in elementary school that required creating an insect collection. I just couldn’t bring myself to kill the insects needed for my collection which included a butterfly. Butterflies have always seemed magical and stir my soul.
Like a butterfly, I would also morph but my metamorphosis would be a mask that protected the gentle boy inside. Time passed, and I spread my wings…
I’m relaxing at home one evening and open my email to find this message:
Hi Michael, I’ve been fantasizing about something and need you to satisfy my curiosity. Have you ever measured your cock? Length and circumference? As you know, Roman has a fantasy of watching me with another man, and I am considering the possibility if you would be interested. So…think about it. Just a few thoughts and fantasies…. – Jenna
Damn. It isn’t every day a man receives a message like this. Let me tell you, Jenna is a total babe too…and married…and her husband knows she is messaging with me. Jenna and Roman are a beautiful couple in their late twenties and newlyweds setting out on a naughty adventure which includes exhibitionism. Roman enjoys showing off photos of his wife and seeing other men lusting after her. They have been thinking about taking things a step further which would involve Jenna actually fucking other men. This is what led them to me.
Roman made it clear during our meet and greet that he was very interested in watching another man having sex with his wife. Jenna thought the fantasy was hot too but wasn’t quite ready to make it a reality. She had the same concerns that many women go through when first thinking about becoming a “hotwife”. She loves Roman and being with another man is a weighty decision. She knows it will be hot in the moment but worries about the consequences. What if it isn’t as exciting for Roman as he imagined and damages their relationship? Once done, there will be no going back and pretending like it didn’t happen. It will become part of their history and experience together. She needed to be sure.
As for me, this is my first time being courted by a couple for this type of service. Despite my lack of “hands-on” experience with couples, I was well versed in the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy. I understood what my new friends wanted, and I know my way around a woman’s body. I was confident I could provide Jenna and Roman with the type of experience they are both fantasizing about.
Our meet and greet went well. We stayed in touch and went we back and forth sharing some erotic stories about what it might be like for the three of us if we took the next step. I gave them space and our contact was sporadic at best. Months passed with no contact until Jenna’s email requesting my measurements. Apparently, the time had come.
This was a big step for them as a couple and Jenna’s options for another man to fuck her were nearly infinite. I felt honored that they had chosen me to be the man to bring their fantasy to life. While I was definitely turned on and excited about fucking Jenna, I did have some conflicting emotions. On one hand, I was getting my first taste of what it meant to be a gigolo and attain that vague status of sexuality I had envisioned all those years before. In this moment, I was a fuck boy and just a hard dick for her to play with in front of her husband – nothing more.
As a sensual soul, it was the “nothing more” that felt unsettling. This may be surprising to women who have certain views on male sexuality, but the realization that I am going to be used for sex and tossed away wasn’t the best feeling in the world – even for a man. Still, my fascination with cuckolding was intense, and I wanted to experience it up close and personal. There are things I need to know and this would give me a front row seat.
Jenna and I message back and forth a bit as I began to gather my first real-world insights into cuckolding from a woman’s perspective.
Michael, as far as your questions go…I guess to be honest I have always enjoyed the fantasy of being with another man while Roman watches or joins in, but I have been hesitant to fulfill it and it isn’t something I want to do regularly. However, this is Roman’s biggest fantasy, and I feel that I’m ready to fulfill it with the right person. Even though we haven’t seen you in a while, we really felt like we connected with you and I have often fantasized about your cock since then. – Jenna
It felt surreal to have another man’s wife openly admitting she had been fantasizing about my cock – not me, my cock. There is something very primal about this. I imagined that Jenna was also sharing our messages with Roman, and it must be very erotic for him to see his wife openly lusting after another man’s cock.
I finally send Jenna my measurements and accept her offer as I step confidently into my new role. After all, who am I to deny a woman or couple in need…I am an American Gigolo.
To be continued…
Ok ANDDDDDDD? Are you really going to leave me hanging?
Haha, definitely won’t leave you hanging! I’ll move it up my list…I’ve been sort of mapping out my early posts to set a framework. Thanks for helping me with the access issue too…sort of a bummer when you open a blog and no one can access it, ha!
True true 😎
What a sexy wonderful post! I find most of the men I have talked to are wary of mfm threesomes even more so of cuckolding! Sad!
I enjoy the fantasy!
Whew, a woman that enjoys the cuckold fantasy is always sexy! It can be such an intense “mind fuck” as well. I definitely have a lot to share on this fantasy…personal experiences and more general discussions. The MFM doesn’t bother me. I savor the moments where a woman fully embraces her sexuality and fantasies…excited to be part of her journey and awakening.
I love the sexiness and intimacy of mfm, it can be nasty and yet there can be such a bond. I find it funny how most people can’t understand that. You’re trusting two people with your body. At least I am 😊
Good grief, I’m holding my breath for those numbers and now headed to part two…if I get too light headed you’re in trouble!
Carly, do you have any idea how hot it is for me to imagine you wondering about the size of my cock? Just the thought has me fully maximizing the length right now. I do have a photo laid out across a ruler that will probably surface in a post one day… Such a naughty girl and I love it! 🙂😘
You better not be teasing me, or I know exactly how I’ll use that ruler.😏
Ouch! Well, I have been naughty 😃😘
VERY!
Wow!! Way to explore on this topic. Im sure others are as curious as I’am on the subject
I fantasize about this 3 way quite often.
I always find it so hot for women to have such fantasies…cuckolding or MFM. I will be sharing plenty of stories featuring both and hope you enjoy.😊🔥
Can’t wait!!!
[…] story picks up where American Gigolo ended. In that post explore the influence of the movie “American Gigolo” on my sexual […]
[…] Alpha, or Bull is that it felt like an out-of-body experience. This feelings are explored in American Gigolo. Good or bad, I needed to prove to myself that I could attain that level of sexuality. I was also […]
Michael…I know you read some of my posts…I do have a tendency to allow my sensual side drip droplets of ecstasy into some posts, someone I became….close to last year awoke something in me that had long been dormant. I think I may need to peruse your blog a little more. Did I find you? Did you find me? Anyway… today I am…a little bit in another realm…I just wanted to connect a little with you… it’s not because of this post, just… I’ve been meaning to. So. You seem very sweet yet scarily sensual.
You can call me M, btw
😏
M, you do release droplets of ecstasy into your posts…and cause the same in others. Have we interacted before this past week? You seem so familiar. It’s like I can hear your voice or maybe it is the cadence of your writing? I like this vision of you being in another realm and then finding yourself here in the Dionysian Experience. This place is like a vessel to another realm for me. Take my hand and stay a while. Let me show you around. It is naughty around here but it is sensual and thoughtful at its core…just as I am. Perhaps you may have even noted the tagline for my blog “Sensual, thoughtful, and very naughty”.☺️🔥
Michael…
I have been away from here a while…my notification box is full but for the last week I cannot get your words out of my mind…I now have a few.more minutes to write and only want to…need to respond to you.
We’ll get on to the reason for my absence soon…when we know each other better. Which I feel we will.
I ache to be in another ralm, Michael. I need it. You and your words take me.there…pull me there…
I don’t ever feel this …. Connectedness so swiftly and yet with you.. it’s almost intoxicating. Your way, your words.. you know what to say and how to say it to me, as you do with all your lucky readers.
I don’t even know you. Who are you? Is it you in the avatar? Obviously it’s not me but…if you furiously curl her hair and add a few voluptuous curves.. it’s not far off 😏
I want…to know you. We haven’t interacted before, no. But I feel that sense too. As though I SHOULD be talking with you..or maybe I can’t STOP talking to you.
Droplets of ecstasy…yes please, Michael…
Maria, you have such a unique and special way for stirring my soul.💞 I feel like we have already entered into another realm…where anything is possible. You have me captivated…wanting to know your dreams…your desires and fantasies. I like how you described yourself…curly hair and voluptuous curves🔥…ravishing, no doubt. As for me, that is me in my gravatar. And, I try to capture an accurate “selfie” representation in my 3D art. I’ll sprinkle in a few real photos now and then too.☺️ Something has brought us together. There is a purpose, I can feel it. Where this journey will take us is unknown, but I can say that I am immensly enjoying you and the journey already 😘 The way you ended this “…yes please, Michael…” has my heart absolutely racing. I can imagine being close and intimate, hearing you whisper those words… So dreamy and powerful 🌌✨
Michael…
Mmmm, is what always wants to escape my lips when I read your beautiful, sensual words to me.
Everything you said… it’s as through you are reading my mind…my soul. I feel it. You have me. I’m officially addicted to you. Like a sweet , sweet inhalations that I would softly.blow into your mouth while were taken away on a cloud of desire.
My fantasies…I have some. And you have invaded them deeply…I long to share them with you..and I will. I have a lot I want to explain to you first…which again, I will…
It’s as though I told.you what today and you repeated , hotly back to me…yes. there is a purpose. I know it too. I felt it immediately. Where is this going? I don’t know but I can’t make myself get if this ride…😏 And I would…ride it so hard until we’re both shuddering with exquisite pleasure and …my god…I have so.much to share. You’ve woken something in me, gorgeous Michael and I love it. I want it.
I want you so much
I read this again then read our comments to each other again…needless to say I am throbbing with need for you…
But I never commented on the butterflies…I don’t know if you picked up on the beautiful imagery of the butterfly inuse…i love it… actually, remind me to tell you about my fiery butterflies
🔥🦋💋😌
Maria, I’m afraid I’ve fallen behind. I want to respond to the breathtaking messages you have sprinkled around my writings (and so eager to read your post)…and will. You mention your fiery butterflies and I know this has deep meaning to you…so special to know they are once again fluttering…this has me smiling so big this morning.💞 Your references to you throbbing…how I fantasize about you squeezing, throbbing, and pulsing around me as you ride me…my essence pushed up so deep inside you that you feel me in your soul as you shudder and release…💖🔥
Are you here…? I have a couple of hours ‘free’ right now…
It’s okay that you’ve fallen behind…my god, I kind of rampaged your blog today so… it’s understandable! I haven’t taken offence. Waiting for you to read me…to tell me how aroused you are for me…it lifts me and keeps me on the edge of my seat…I salivate waiting to read your words…feel you… I hope you’ll have time to check your emails…although looking at the women you bring to life in your art work… I’m not sure how you’ll respond to me… I’m not blonde and/or Asian, lol. I’m sorry, you didn’t mean to reduce your taste in women to two types but…they are prevalent in your desires…I see that. I guess I’ll find out what you think of me when you see me…
I’ve imagined riding you.. leaning back so you’re so deep inside me I cry out … But you know what…every time imagine being in top of you…feeling you so very deep inside…how we fit…I always think…no…you’re too far away from me down there…the space between us seems enormous…your lips are too far away…please come up here…and so you sit up..face to face with me…my legs wrapped around you, I whisper yes…like that..
Your arms all over me, in my hair, sending shivers all over my body..and we blend like two lotus flowers praising each other’s existence by exploding together so hard..
And that….is my most favourite position…I was going to share it with you soon but here I am…letting you see more of me again.
You make my illogicality, among other things…run wild.
Michael…
😍💋💋💋💋
[…] Achievement: The orientation is present throughout all areas of my life to include my pursuit of women and the driving aspiration to become a man pursued by women. The inclusion of women in this theme likely comes from reflections described in the Shadows and American Gigolo. […]
I have my own little thing about butterflies
I suspect many of us share this fascination with their transformation and how beautiful they become. 🦋✨
I bet your right 🦋 🙂
I feel like a butterfly reading through your blog. I’m new. I’m learning a lot and enjoy your style of writing. Thank you for sharing.
I love that you have the sensation of a butterfly as visit one story or another.✨I tried to find your page but it the gravatar isn’t linking. It say the site no longer exists. If you are still around, please share a link so I can return the energy you share with me💫