I’m sitting alone sipping on some whiskey and thinking about Sienna. It has been a month since we decided to be more proactive in making our cuckold fantasy a reality. We spent the last month trying to find a suitable match on an online adult dating site. We had a lot of fun with one another going through this experience, but it ended up being a bust. As the gatekeeper, I had very high expectations for these men. Getting inside my girl’s pretty pink pussy would require some effort, and I was demanding…perhaps too demanding. Sienna was probably a bit too passive and disengaged with our account as well. The randomness of it all didn’t sit too well with her either.

Pulling the plug on our adult dating site profile, our thoughts turn to Jalen, a gentleman that has been following our blog and engaging with us for almost a year. Sienna likes his fun, flirty ways, and he has certainly invested time and energy in our journey already. He has read and commented on most of our stories and had countless chat threads with Sienna. She feels like she knows him a little and he isn’t just some random guy with a huge cock. He knows our story and what we want. Jalen has also made it clear that he finds Sienna extremely hot and would love to fulfill her craving for her first big black cock…a burning desire she has so openly expressed on to me in private and on our blog.

Even though Jalen has always been an obvious front runner, I avoided engaging him to be our Bull. It isn’t that I don’t like him or don’t feel like he is capable of providing my girl with a great experience. Actually, it is quit the opposite. I’m fairly certain he would give her the best fucking of her life. While I do want this for her, I’m not sure I want him to be the one that gives it her. My struggle comes from him being a little too close to the inner circle of our blogging community. We have a fairly close knit private community and are very active with one another’s sexy stories, adventures, and photo galleries.

As things exist now, I enjoy the artistic control I hold over our blog, the veil of mystery I’ve tried to sustain, and our privacy. Occasionally, I lift the veil for a glimpse inside our erotic, loving world but no one has truly been inside our inner sanctum. Ideally, our Bull should come from outside our blogging circle. This would protect our privacy and give me the freedom to share as little or as much we desire and are comfortable revealing.

Plus, my desire to be cuckolded isn’t something I am 100% comfortable with. It’s a fantasy I kept to myself for a long time because I felt ashamed. Sharing it with a lover has always felt stressful because I worry they will see me as less manly. Even when my lover responds positively to this revelation, as Sienna has, I feel an even more intense erotic rush and sense of erotic humiliation when we discuss our desires in a more public way…such as through our blog. Still, even here I enjoy a degree of anonymity and can step away from the public exposure when things feel a bit too intense for me.

This will change if Jalen fucks Sienna. He will have been inside our inner sanctum…in more ways than one. He knows all our blogging friends, and they know him. He would be writing about the experience and engaging the community at the same time Sienna and I were trying to share the experience. I can be a little slow to publish so Jalen would have it all out there first and shape the narrative through his perspective. It would certainly focus on him and Sienna and lack the cuckold context which is a key part of the experience for me and Sienna. He also has a very different vibe and writing style than I do. His stories would lack the sensuality Sienna and I share. I’m not sure I wanted to see him writing in intimate detail about what it was like to fuck my sweet, naughty angel. I am very protective of her and her image.

There would also be the day-to-day chatter between him and Sienna as they reminisced with one another and engaged with our curious blogging friends. I wanted the focus to flow through our experience as couple, not through Sienna and Jalen’s experience. It might be too intense for me to have everyone so acutely aware of my cuckolding and how amazing Jalen had been for Sienna. Their steamy post-fucking comments would be flowing through our comment section for everyone to see Sienna gushing so openly over another man.

Earlier today, I shared my reservations with Sienna and she helped center my thoughts around all of this being about our experience and how that was all that really matters in the end.

This is for US…our experience. So, here’s my complete erotic turn-on and twist in all if this. I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you before. The hung black guy knows he can provide the deep, physically fulfilling pleasure I seek. He will think he has me and has all that I need. He may think he is controlling the scenario, will become the center of my universe, and that you will become nothing and inferior in my eyes. Yet, the impetus for me is about what it is for US.

It’s all about OUR pleasure seeking and part of our fun, captivating naughtiness. He plays a role that is not about the intimate, adoring love and connection that makes Us WE!!!!! Yes, he will take me and give me more than you are physically capable of giving me, but it is our secret, intimate, and adoring love that can’t be taken. What can’t be taken and won over is the deep heartfelt connecting love we have fostered and treasure. Mmmmm, this is my secret and real depiction of our fantasy and our true love, babe! This is why I’m so, so, so excited for Jalen. He understands our fantasy and the passion, lust, and love we have for each other. 

Sienna makes a compelling case for Jalen as her first experience and shows a great deal of emotional maturity around the importance of this experience for us a couple. How could I possibly deny her this experience? Sienna’s sensual massages didn’t work out because she really wanted me there in the room watching over. Our attempt at online dating was a bust. I’m running out of options, and it is becoming very clear that if Sienna is ever going to cuckold me, the first experience needs to be Jalen. I need to let go of my apprehension and desire to control the narrative. Who knows, maybe this more public experience will actually increase the erotic rush.

I send Sienna a message asking her to reach out to Jalen for a play date. My sweet girl is certainly asleep already, but I want her to know I am on board when she awakens to begin in her day. I know it will put a spring in her step. I’m ready to once again ignite her erotic swirl.

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