Annalise – Roses Never Fade

In the midst of what likely comes across on my blog as an unabashed, hedonistic celebration of kinks and sexuality, there are more layers to my Dionysian Experience. Sensuality and love are also two very powerful forces of energy flowing through my life. Annalise was one woman that tapped into this energy. Our soulful connection was instantaneous and spellbinding.

Stepping out of the time machine, I find myself in college. It was a time when life seemed simpler and information flowed at a slower pace. There was no mainstream internet for the masses and cell phones weren’t widely available. In the case of long-distance relationships, we wrote letters and paid ridiculous rates for long-distance phone calls.

It was early in my junior year when I met Annalise. My business fraternity (co-ed) was holding its national convention. The Puerto Rican chapter attended and Annalise was part of that group. She was an exotic Spanish woman with a sexxxy accent and was an absolutely stunning visual treat. So many of my fantasies about foreign women and the desire to experience new cultures were wrapped up perfectly within her. I was ready for her, but was she ready for me?

A favorite photo I still have of Annalise came from the first night we met. She is standing in the hotel holding a rose I gave her.

I have always enjoyed giving a rose when I feel like it really means something to me and I was feeling her in full force. Man, was I ever right about this rose. Over time, I would fall so deeply in love with Annalise. Let me put it this way, if I were to create a personal Pantheon of Goddesses I have known, she would be present. I will share more about Annalise in the future but, for now, I just want to feel her presence and honor her memory.  Meeting her almost changed my life. Almost. 

Endless love letters, extended vacations together, and long-distance phone calls filled the two years we shared. I wasn’t the only one feeling swept away in our transcendent experience. At our zenith, Annalise writes in the letter below of marriage and our happily ever after. She dreams of having my baby in her womb – the fruit of our gran amor. As you read, keep in mind English was her second language and, I assure you, it was much better than my Spanish.

Sweetheart,

I hope you are well, and I am very well thanks to God. I feel very happy that you are committing to coming to PR because I have joined you with all my body and heart. Your promise to us makes me the happiest woman of the world.

I am very proud to be your girlfriend because you are a wonderful person, you are full of passion, love, and tenderness. You are also a strong man in all ways and that will make me a very pleasured woman. I promise to make you a man of great contentment for all my days. I need you sweetheart! I love you! Please come to PR and let’s begin our wonderful life together that God has blessed.

Since I spoke to you on Sunday, I have not stopped dreaming of the future so beautiful and happy that awaits us. I told my family and friends about your intentions with me and everyone is very happy. They know I will be well in your home and marrying you would be the best dream of my life.

You are a very intelligent man and a true gentleman. I know you will achieve all your goals that you set and I will always be at your side to support you. Just thinking that I can be at your side every day and that we can sleep together every night makes me feel ecstatic and emotional. I love to think that someday I will be able to have your child in my womb, fruit of our gran amor.

You can already see that I love to think about our future, but I am also very encouraged with my classes this semester. I am going to study a lot to achieve so that we are well prepared for our future together.

I hope you have understood this letter. I love you so much ~ Annalise

Despite my best and genuine efforts, I never made it permanently to Puerto Rico. All of these years later, I can still feel the echoes of the magic we shared and recall the equally intense sadness and heartbreak we experienced as our shared dream of forever was slipping away. It feels like a lifetime has passed since we first touched in our young world. Yet, I still remember her and us the way we were – forever young and in love. Roses never fade.