Black Mystique – Mandingo is the third in a short series exploring the underlying psychology of interracial sex as kink – specifically black men and white women. Along the way, I am also trying to unravel how my fantasy of wanting to watch my lover with well-endowed black men evolved during my sexual journey. This is a work in progress and will likely undergo several iterations as I try sort through this complex fantasy in my own mind.
I’d like to begin by making an important distinction between interracial relationships in general and interracial sex as a kink. The former refers to people falling in love without regard to ethnic differences and is a beautiful, loving experience. The latter eroticizes ethnic differences, and this is the focus of my exploration. The interracial sex fetish flows both ways and isn’t only the sexual fetishization of black men by “some” white people. There are also “some” black men that fetishize white women in general and white wives in particular. Each derives added sexual pleasure from the interracial layers of these sexual liaisons.
How popular is this kink? Cuckolding and interracial sex are separate fetishes but they are often intertwined in sexual fantasies and, as the following data suggests, very popular. Neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analyzed one billion sex-related search terms as research for their 2012 book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts. They found that cuckold-related searches rank #2 among most searched for sexual content on the internet. Ogas and Gaddam drilled down even deeper. After gaining access to the database of a popular cuckold erotica site, they identified the following as the most common two-word search phrases: Black Cock #1, Black Man #2, and Big Black (Cock) #6. PornHub’s 2019 year in review lists “Ebony” as the fourth most viewed category by women.
Some people assert that interracial sex and interracial cuckolding is based on racism. I make the case in Black Mystique – Presence that interracial sex (as a kink) is, instead, a reaction to racism and rebellion against societal forces that try to discourage interracial sex and relationships. Put another way, I believe the psychology of this fantasy is a rebellion against societal repression of innate human sexual desires. It is a manifestation of the desire to break free from societal constraints. While my focus is on how these desires are expressed through interracial sex, I hope you will also appreciate that this is but one outlet of expression. Many sexual kinks, such as those found in BDSM, may also find their psychological roots in the same soil – responses to sexual repression and societal constraints.
In Black Mystique – Presence, I explore how black men came to have a place in the sexual psyche of some as the embodiment of sexual prowess and being the most endowed. I wasn’t born with this notion in my mind so where did it come from? As a boy, I remember being at a friend’s house and we were staying up way too late and saw a film was titled Mandingo. It was set in the Old South (pre-Civil War America) and was a story about a Mandingo slave. He was physically imposing and it was made apparent throughout the movie that he was also very well endowed. This caught the attention and imagination of women (white and black) throughout the plantation.
The imagine below is the poster for this movie and featured Ken Norton, former heavyweight boxing champion.
My enduring memory of this movie (in addition to first becoming aware that slavery had once existed) was the scene where the sexually repressed and frustrated plantation wife brings the Mandingo into her bedroom for sex. I remember him being on top of her…the sight of his dark muscular hips thrusting powerfully between her pale white legs. Her reactions and expressions were like nothing I had ever seen before. It was a very powerful visual and may have been the first time I saw what appeared to be people having sex. My first sexual visuals and memories now involved a muscular black man with a large cock fucking a sexually frustrated white woman. It left a very arousing and long-lasting impression.
I had never even seen or thought about this type of relationship. Part of my naivety was that I was still so young. It was cultural too. There weren’t a lot of interracial couples around at that time. I also remember feeling tremendous empathy for black people. I had childhood friends that were black. We played sports together, rode bikes, did sleepovers, and all the things kids do together. We had no awareness of this history. Watching this movie, I remember feeling ashamed this had once happened and hoped they never found out about it.
One inescapable aspect of Mandingo is the period of explicit racism in which it takes place and the “taboo” nature of the sex scene. The seemingly off-limits, morally pure, angelic plantation wife was supposed to be above such primal, animalistic desires like sexual pleasure. The romanticized notion of Courtly Love was still alive and well in the antebellum South. Men of this period and many men still today tried to honor Courtly Love as well by not defiling their angelic wives. A woman of stature should not be degraded with sexual intercourse. She was above this and it was wrong for her to crave sex. Unwillingly, she was placed on a pedestal of moral purity.
Deep down inside though, I suspect men of this period knew women had sexual desires and this desire needed to be kept in check. While men and women of that era tried to interact with one another in a chivalrous way that honored Courtly Love, sexuality was still present on plantations and men believed the sexual desires of white women needed to be deterred. As part of this deterrence, black men were cast in a negative light. They were labeled as hyper-sexual with enormous cocks that would “ruin” a white girl. What these black men allegedly wanted more than anything was to ravage and (figuratively) split a white woman in two with their oversized cocks and should be feared. This was supposed to be a deterrent but, for many sexually repressed women, these claims actually served as erotic stimulus. Black men began to embody the promise of sexual fulfillment these women were being denied.
In a time of slavery and explicit racism, the sexual mythology of the black male and the big black cock takes root. However, the emergence of white women (and women of many ethnicities) fantasizing and craving big black cock isn’t a racist desire. It is a reaction to and rebellion against racism and sexual repression. Her desire stems from sexual repression and the craving of sexual fulfillment that she could not get from her lover because he is also sexually repressed. The height of sexual fulfillment and rebellion against societal constraints has come to be symbolized by the image below.
Black men have found a place in our sexual psyche (for some people) and carry the archetypal energy of raw sexuality with the promise of sexual fulfillment and transcendent ecstasy. On a personal level, I view my lover’s desire to cuckold me with black men as representing her desire to experience and embrace the fullness of her sexuality – figuratively and literally. While I don’t intend to surrender our loving, emotional relationship, I am more than willing and aroused to step aside for another more physically capable man to take his place between her legs and provide the transcendent ecstasy my lover craves.
- Cuckold Psychology – The Essentials – A series of posts dealing with the psychology of cuckolding
- Sensual Shadows – Chronology & Links – My loving, erotic journey with Sienna which included cuckolding
- Cuckold Corner – The Interviews: Series of interviews with men and women who enjoy interracial sex and cuckolding