I was in my early 20’s and spending a Saturday night at my favorite watering hole. It was closing time, but I still wanted to have some fun. Fortunately, there was another club that remained open until 4:00 am. It was a great place to burn off the evening buzz dancing and make one last run at getting laid. Since state law prevented alcohol sale after 2:00 am, this club had a pretty large contingent of 18-20 year olds that I didn’t cross paths with in the bars.

Enter Sasha. Her eyes twinkled with light as we talked and danced. Despite our age difference, she was 18, this moment seemed to transcended time and space. I was into her, and it wasn’t lost on me that I was reaching an age where my opportunities with such young women would soon be behind me. Sasha might very well be my last dip in the fountain of youth.

Our kissing on the dance floor was steamy and sensual. A whirlwind of pounding music, flashing lights, and smoke enveloped us in a dreamy haze. My cock stayed hard for two hours and was constantly pressed against her…which she seemed to enjoy and encourage. The night held such great promise…until it didn’t. Much to my disappointment, I wasn’t able to whisk Sasha away for a night of pleasure. It happens.

I wasn’t against having a steady lover so we stayed in touch and our connection developed over the next month. We went out a few times and spent a lot of time just hanging out together and talking. I think she was kind of into dating an “older man”…worldly and sophisticated as I was as that time, not.

There was a “problem” though with Sasha. She was a virgin. Talk about time travel? I think the younger generation is more sexually liberated these days but it wasn’t always like that. Most of us, at least in my age group, can remember the games of our youth. I touch your shoulder and try to touch your breast, you push my hand away. I try to come in from under your shirt, you push my hand down and away. I squeeze your ass, you slide my hand away. Go for a feel between the legs…thighs press tight like a vice grip. Everything was a progression, most of the time, with increasing access over months. Yeah, great memories.

Sasha guarded her charms like she was guarding the gates of life itself. To make matters worse, her desire to actually touch or provide me with any pleasure was clearly a foreign concept. It was as if she thought she would be providing me with a gift if she allowed me to please her. I am a patient man and went through this denial scene with Sasha many (too many) times. I can speak freely here, right? I was annoyed. Too much life had passed to play this silly game again.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe a woman should sleep with me just because I want her too. It is her pussy and she can do whatever she wants with it. However, it doesn’t mean I have to like it or hang around until she decides to bestow her divine gift upon me. In fairness to Sasha, she was a virgin. Okay, maybe that makes her “gift” more special at this moment. Still, I was free to make my own choices and was ready to move on.

I told Sasha I respected her decision, but it meant we were done. She didn’t understand. I spent a lot of time listening to her cry and tried to comfort her as we talked around in circles about our situation. We were just at different places in our lives. Sex was a sensual passage to a deeper, more intimate connection for me. No sex created a wall. My days of struggling with virgins and this “game” in general were a thing of the past.

I was trying to be a good guy by letting her go and telling her why I was done. Her pussy was extra special, and I wanted to honor that value. Sasha said she didn’t want to lose me and would be willing to give me her virginity. While this was VERY tempting, I declined. It was never my intent to pressure her into fucking me. I wanted her to want to do it as part of our sensual flow, not like this. Now, I just wanted to set her free.

I’m back at the apartment chillin’ and feeling content with how I handled the situation. I was no longer a shell-shocked teenage sex warrior wandering through girls in the aftermath of my mother’s suicide. The fog of war was lifting. The outcome of moments like these had begun to matter. I often think about myself as an old man in the winter of my seasons and want to be able to look back and feel proud of the path I walked with women. I want to be able to feel that warmth in my soul. I had turned a new leaf but…old habits are hard to break.

My doorbell rings and there is pounding on the door followed by Sasha’s sad but still angelic voice. “Michael! Michael! Let me in…I know you’re in there!” I thought, “Fuck. Stop tempting me…” I could feel a familiar force swelling within that made we just want to fuck her with no regard for tomorrow. Increasingly counterbalancing thoughts like these was a soulful clarity. I felt connected to the innocent boy deep within me and what I feel is my true nature – a thoughtful, sensual, and playfully naughty spirit. As a child, I once failed a science project because I refused to kill a butterfly for an insect collection assignment. That spirit would never want to intentionally hurt anyone.

I thought about Sasha’s future and mine…I knew our paths would never merge into one. I truly cared about how she would look back on this special moment in her life. I didn’t want to leave her with painful memories. The noise on the other side of the door is building. She is crying and pleading with me to let her in. The temptation is strong. It isn’t often that a man has a 18 year-old virgin beating on the door begging to be fucked. Darkness and light were juxtaposed and calling to me. “Open the door and fuck the hell out of the pompous virgin!” On the other side, “Don’t be the dick that breaks her heart and causes her to lose faith.”

Damn it, I wanted to fuck her so bad! “Michael, please! Let me in! I want you to have all of me.” I could imagine her once twinkling eyes now filled with tears. What should have happened naturally and magically between budding lovers became something much larger in my psyche and everything was messy now. I leaned unconvinced into the door with one hand on the bolt lock and said, “Your future husband will see your virginity as a special gift. It doesn’t mean to me what it means to you. I can’t promise you a future. You’ll regret it one day. We’ve talked about this! I won’t let you in. Go away! We are done!”

I hate seeing a woman cry. “Michael, please…please let me in.” All I have to do is turn the lock and open the door to make her smile again. She’s a woman now and free to do what she wants…including fucking me, right? I can feel her beautiful little fists beating against the door. “Michael, open the door…I want to make love to you! I do!” God. I’m sweating and my heart is pounding. I can imagine her bent over clutching the sheets with her face buried in the mattress screaming in divine bliss as I pound her tight, little virgin pussy into submission. Ohhhh Fuck! Maybe…just maybe I could fuck her and it would all work out?

No, No!  This visual would have to be enough. I have already restored some sense of balance in the universe. I didn’t let her in. I didn’t allow her to have my cock buried deep in her pussy. My cock, my choice.

A few weeks later, there is a knock at my door one Saturday morning. It had been a late night and I’m groggy…still a little buzzed. I try to calm down my rather impressive morning erection as I stumble towards the door while looking around for some shorts. Opening the door, I’m momentarily blinded by the mid-morning sun and feel certain that I’m now hallucinating. A vision of Aphrodite stands before me glowing in the morning sun. Is this a reward for my good deed?

It went down something like this:

Aphrodite (smiling with eyes twinkling) – Hi, hope I didn’t wake you?

Michael (dazed and confused) – Oh no, I’m wide awake.

Aphrodite –  Could I borrow some ice?

Michael (rubbing my eyes and thinking — why, because you’re so fucking hot!?) – Sure, not a problem. Do you live in this building?

Aphrodite – I live a couple buildings over.…

Michael (a knowing smile forming on my lips) – Well, you’ve come a long way…for ice?

Aphrodite (beginning to blush) – Oh…yes…haha. I really don’t know anyone here and needed ice so I thought about you. I’ve seen you at the pool and around the apartments coming and going. My roommate and I have beeped at you a few times when our cars passed, but you must not have heard us because you never looked.

Michael – Ah, I thought you looked familiar. You aren’t easy to miss. Please, step inside.

So, what happened? She came in, we chatted, and fucked. It still blows my mind which is why I remember this moment so well. A woman completely unknown to me came to my door to fuck me. Well, she may not have been thinking that exactly, but that’s how it ended up. She didn’t leave with any ice but left with plenty of hot cream. Some doors refuse to open and others can’t wait to be opened. I would continue to see “Aphrodite” and we developed a really special relationship. Her actual name is Hannah, and I have a story she wrote for me here –  Hannah – Fire and Ice.

39 thoughts on “Sasha – The Door

  1. Maharedwynn

    That’s pretty exceptional for a guy in his 20’s. Good for you! And the universe or karma or whatever seems to have paid you back for doing the right thing. Your artwork is amazing, Michael.

    1. Thank you, Mari 🙂 The universe does seem to have a way of finding balance. I really appreciate the artwork comment too! I have so much fun with this part of my posts. So glad you like them.

      1. Maharedwynn

        Love it!

  2. New to your blog I am taking the liberty of asking some questions. I have loved a Libra man. Nothing like that experience. You are Libra? Timely post, supremely applicable in the area of learning to control your loins, thinking about the whole person beyond the hips. Very mature. Appreciate the write. – Ret

    1. Thanks for visiting, Ret 🙂 Like most blogs, there is a lot of history within. I’m not sure I’ve fully mastered control of the loins but I definitely value the beauty of a woman (inner and outer). Each is a special gift.

  3. What a life you have lived.

    1. Good and bad, naughty and nice…especially everything in between.:)

      1. The only way to live.

  4. Love this post!

  5. Thanks Rita, you’ve put a smile on my face today 🙂

    1. You put a smile on my face with that post!

  6. Ah! I was reading this on my break! And you dared to tease me! Leaving me hanging with suspense and tingling!! 😉

    1. Haha! 🙂 I wanted to get into the juicy details there at the end but the post was already too long. Sounds like you might need some ice, sexy Rebecca? 😉

      1. Yes I did. It was a little awkward since I wasn’t alone on my break! 😂

        1. Haha, love the visual of you being naughty with people around and trying to play it off 🔥

  7. Misfit Mystic

    Ahhhh…the Universe gave you exactly what you needed at the time when you said no to the thing you didn’t need. Beautiful art and writing, sweet one.

    1. Thank you, my mystic and not so misfit friend 🙂 It did seem to work out right, and I don’t believe it was coincidence. I’m excited you enjoyed the post and artwork. The digital art isn’t always good but I enjoy the creative release.

      1. Misfit Mystic

        Isn’t always good? Are you cray? xxxo!

        1. *blushing* Thank you, beautiful 🙂

  8. I can see why she considered her virginity a gift yet, for me, I lost mine out of obligation which I regret of course. No use looking back into the past, one must move on. You demonstrated great strength and resistance. I admire you for that.

    1. Thank you for sharing your reaction and experience in a similar moment. I hope the way I expressed my perspective wasn’t too harsh or demeaning of virgins. Men and women both have gifts to share. I’m sorry to hear your first experience left you with a sad memory. Hopefully, your past lover wishes he had handled this moment better.

      1. No, I don’t believe ti was harsh. It was the right thing to do. I wonder how she reacted…who she eventually chose and if she has any regrets?

        1. Hopefully she waited until she was married. I’d hate to think I missed out for no reason, ha!

          1. You never heard back from her again? That’s what I’m wondering too if she met a rebound guy and well that would have sucked.

          2. Right, I don’t recall what followed too well. She needed more time to mature sexually anyway. She was very centered on receiving and giving…energy 💫

          3. You don’t recall? I take it there was way too much for you. Lol…as it was her first time, I think her expectation was in receiving as she would be giving you her “gift”. That’s what I interpret from your story.

          4. Lol! I just meant the lingering fallout. You interpreted the story correctly but I am also referring to things beyond intercourse…she didn’t have a sensual way of giving. 💫

  9. Awww, that must have taken a lot of willpower to deny her when she was pounding on your door. That’s really admirable. And then you got a gift from the universe for your strength of character! 😃 I love this story from your past. You’re an excellent story teller and the visuals are amazing as always. Whets my appetite for more… 😉

    1. Awww, you are so sweet and sexy! ❤️ Hope your vacation has been fun and relaxing…a little time to daydream, recharge, and get your…juices flowing. ☺️ Love the “storyteller” and art feedback…you have me smiling here. If you ever need any ice, please feel free to knock… 😉

  10. An interesting life you live.

    1. Well, I only write about what is hopefully the more interesting moments. Believe me, there are plenty of not-so-interesting days. But, you always make my days interesting and sexy 😊

  11. We all have days not worth writing about. It’s nice to know I make your days interesting and sexy 😊

  12. Always the gentleman, Michael! There are not many men that would have shown such constraint, kudos to you my sexy friend xoxo

    1. Thank you, beautiful girl 😘 This was a tough one. I had something happen prior to this where I began to question things and this was my first test. I’ve still stumbled but try to stay the course. I suppose this is a journey we all share 😊❤️

      1. I’d say you passed the test with flying colors. And, as I am learning myself, walking the straight line is well…rather boring frankly. I’d rather skip, hop, stumble, and flop 😉

  13. sexualdespondant

    This showed me the kind of person you are. To think about the feelings and future of others is something a lot of 20 year olds don’t even think about when confronted with the situation you were in. You are one of a kind! Sid

    1. Hi Sid, glad to see you back 😊Hope things have gone well for you. I appreciate your thoughts on this moment. I’ve made and continue to make plenty of questionable decisions but this was a pivotal moment in trying to walk a better path. Hope you’re having a great weekend!

      1. sexualdespondant

        We all have stumbled and will continue throughout life. It is, in my opinion, easier to talk about what we did wrong that what we did right. I am enjoying the weekend as much as I can and hope you are too. Sid

        1. Well said my friend. This reflects your modesty and great humility…both very admirable. Things are going great here. Hope you have time and inspiration to write in the near future. 😊

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