I am endlessly fascinated by the psychology of sexual fantasies. One in particular – the Fuck Doll fantasy – has captured my imagination and I’d like to sink a little deeper into it. What exactly is the Fuck Doll fantasy? As a curious observer looking in from the outside, the fantasy seems to be about a woman surrendering control and being reduced to nothing more than a sexual object. In essence, she becomes a sex toy – a fuck doll – to be used by her lover and/or other men for their sexual gratification. She is helpless to resist and becomes a receptacle for their pleasure. Of course, in reality, the woman is extremely aroused by this scenario and it is about her pleasure as well.
At first pass, this fantasy might seem a bit shocking to some women…even offensive. I tend to believe that the more intuitive a fantasy is, the more vanilla it is. Most fantasies don’t make sense and that is why they are kinks, not mainstream sexuality. But, if we think deeper about any particular fantasy, even if extreme, we can usually figure out what is happening and why a person might find it erotic.
The first issue that comes to mind for me in this scenario is the woman’s safety. Even though it isn’t talked about or even suggested in the fantasy, we have to remember that the woman is still actually in control. She is doing it because she finds immense arousal and pleasure in the experience. It doesn’t really matter if you or I “don’t get it”. The fantasy is hers, she isn’t hurting anyone, and it makes her hot.
Other kinks share this element of “no control”. Cuckolding is one example I identify with and write a lot about. Submission is a better example that more women may be familiar with. When we think about “subs”, their submission is an erotic gift given to their Dom. The sub giveth power and the sub can taketh away. The cuck, sub, and fuck doll actually hold the power and can stop things at any time. This sense of free will/choice and secretly being in control is what makes the fantasy safe. We just don’t talk about it because it detracts from the fantasy which is fueled by “loss of control”.
Having established the important element of safety and free will, we can now focus on the erotic drivers of the fantasy. We recognize that fantasies are a departure from reality but understanding one’s reality can provides valuable context for why a particular fantasy is hot. It may seem counterintuitive, but I imagine a woman with this fantasy as being a very strong woman. I can hear the question now, “What are you saying, Michael!? A woman that wants to be sexually objectified and treated like cum-hole, fuck doll is a strong woman?” Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying…with one point of clarification.
I’m not saying say all strong women want to be treated this way. But, I’m willing to wager that most women with this fantasy are indeed very strong women. You see, part of the erotic rush for these women comes from inversion. They are very much in control in real life and this fantasy turns their world upside down – they are inverted. They don’t have to think and are able to feel the “sensation” of not being in control. A weight is lifted off their shoulders. There is nothing to think about and no responsibilities that come with being in control. She can just let go and enjoy the pleasure.
Slipping into a mind space where you become what you are not can be a disorienting experience. It takes a strong woman to handle this level of inversion. The moments can be scary but wildly intoxicating. It can become euphoric and transcendent as she is lifted beyond the realm of her day-to-day existence and outside herself.
This transcendent sensation is what the ancient Greeks attributed to the presence of Dionysus – god of divine ecstasy (physical and spiritual), rebirth, wine, and theater. While it comes in many forms, transcendent ecstasy is always the destination and this sensation is the Dionysian Experience (also the title of my blog).
So far, we have touched on safety, free will, and the destination – touching Dionysus (aka, transcendent ecstasy). Perhaps it is time to consider one woman’s description of her Fuck Doll fantasy so we can get a clearer picture. She is a professional single woman who very much fits the “feminist” stereotype and describes her Fuck Doll fantasy like this:
I imagine being stripped of my clothing by a group of men and put on display at their gatherings and parties like I’m a living piece of art. Preferably, I would be blindfolded because it removes my identity and makes me less of a person. Who I am doesn’t matter to them. No, to them I’m nothing more than a fuck doll…a slut with no identity to be used for their pleasure. One after the other or all together, the men would be able to touch and grope me whenever they felt like it.
As the night progresses, I would be taken off display and each man in succession or all at once would pass me around like an object to be used, fucked, and enjoyed. There would be so many men stuffing random cocks in my mouth, pussy, and…even my ass. One after the other, they would cum all over my face, inside me, in my hair, all over my body…wherever they wanted to empty themselves. By the end of the night, I’d be a complete cum-covered mess and made to feel like the true submissive slut I am.
Whew, that story strikes me as very exciting. It isn’t that I see myself as one of those men either. What I personally like about it is that this woman is embracing the fullness of sexuality and her wild, lustful desires. She creates a complex scenario that allows her to get that space but she gets there.
A lot of men with the cuckold fantasy would find it arousing for their lover to have the Fuck Doll fantasy.
I can envision inviting a few male friends over for drinks with plans to feature some interactive art as entertainment. My girlfriend is the art and I have her dolled up in a sexy outfit. It is hot greeting each guy as he arrives and showing off my gorgeous artwork.
Much to their surprise and excitement, I let the men know they are free to interact with the art. “Please feel free to explore her holes. Limit one finger at a time in her ass and feel free to use up to three of your thick fingers in her tight pussy. We’ll open her up more when we take her away from the frame and put her on the bed. Then, we’ll see if we can get two cocks in her pussy at the same time…along with one her ass. I can’t wait for you experience how truly engaging this piece can be.”
Over the course of two hours, I keep her framed. We end up playing drinking games focused on who can make her cum the fastest, make her scream the loudest, and award a prize for who makes her cum the most times. I lost count of how many times she actually came. At one point, her legs were so weak she couldn’t stand up any longer. I put her on her knees. As you might imagine, her mouth became the next hole of focus for our drinking games and cocks. I told the men my art was water proof and easy to clean. “Feel free to cum all over it as many times as you like…just save some for later for the bedroom.”
Here’s a shorter vignette – Dinner Is Served.
I imagine inviting a carefully selected group of men over for dinner who are ultimately coming to “use” and please my girl. I have a wonderful dinner catered and feature my lover as the main course. Once we are set, I step out to the room where the men are gathered and introduce the menu.
“Gentlemen, dinner is served. Tonight’s entree is a juicy, mouth-watering dish of Scandinavian origin. By special request, our main course will be accompanied by an abundance of stuffing along with a creamy and ample supply of gravy which I encourage you to apply liberally. Side dishes are aplenty and sure to satisfy even those with the most discerning tastes. We will round out our dining experience with several decadently delicious deserts and, I trust, you will ensure I have a savory creampie to enjoy. Men, please have a seat. Bon appetite!”
As a man that tends to favor sensuality in my sexual experiences, these fantasies are a bit harsher than I tend to think and write but the fantasy isn’t built around what I want. It is about giving my girl what she wants – the fantasy is hers. I would become the conductor orchestrating an erotic symphony…for her pleasure.
As far as examples go, I’ll leave you with one more reference for additional reading, if interested. I once shared a post called, “The Wall” and backdated it so it would be buried in my archives. Even though, much of it was inspired and informed by a woman, I didn’t know what to make of it or how it would be received. I certainly didn’t want to offend the women that do read my blog. I have since come to appreciate that I had inadvertently stumbled upon the Fuck Doll fantasy. Actually, my discussions with women about The Wall is the inspiration behind this current exploration.
While there are clearly levels of physical pleasure flowing through the Fuck Doll fantasy, there is a lot more going on. I suspect the fantasy is nuanced for each woman but there are several erotic forces at play here. Submission and bondage are frequently referenced by women in these type fantasies. The sexual kink known as Erotic Humiliation is also present in both its physical and mental forms. This is a form of masochism, the “M” in BDSM. You can read more about erotic humiliation here: Erotic Humiliation – Exploring the Layers.
The lady in the example mentioned being displayed like art and groped by men as an erotic trigger. I have seen examples where women describe being turned on when men use them like furniture such as an ottoman or side table. I’ve seen other examples where women are spread out nude on a large dinner table like they are part of the table setting as the men gather around to feast. How humiliating and degrading (and very enjoyable) it must be for a strong, proud woman with this fantasy to be used like this.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I believe the heart of the Fuck Doll fantasy stems from the cognitive dissonance women feel between society’s angelic expectations and her own lustful desires. I explore this concept in some depth in my Hestia vs Aphrodite and in Courtly Love posts. In short, women are often placed upon a pedestal of purity by men and societal expectations. This was done as away to suppress a woman’s innate sexual desires and make her feel shame when she has those sexual desires. I advance the argument that when basic human desires are denied, they often morph and return in different, more extreme forms. Exhibit A – The Fuck Doll fantasy.
Interestingly, it is through submission, bondage, captivity-type fantasies, and the Fuck Doll fantasy that some women feel so alive, liberated, and able to experience the fullness of their sexuality in guilt-free manner. She creates a scene where she has no choice but to surrender to the pleasure she has craved all along. Humiliation play may also be present as a way to eroticize the shame she feels in having these sexual desires.
Thank you for reading the meanderings of an armchair sexual psychologist. If you are a woman that holds this fantasy (and are comfortable discussing it), I hope you share your perspective in the comments section. If you have written about it on your blog, please feel free to share the link.