In Carol Ann – The Black Mystique (Part I), Carol Ann joined me for a discussion about interracial sex. She described her attraction to black men and we explored some of the psychology behind the allure of interracial sex. A secondary theme of sexual repression also emerged in the first part of our discussion. We now continue with the rest of the interview.
Carol Ann – The Black Mystique (Part II)
Carol Ann: DeMarcus was a very creative and adventurous lover…the best I’ve ever had. I tell you, after feeling that wonderful cock inside me, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to please him and feel his magnificent cock opening me up and stretching me to my limit.
Michael: After experiencing bad sex or no sex most of your life, I’m sure it felt amazing to be opened deeply and stretched so fully…to finally have a great sex. I love how you phrased that too.
Carol Ann: When he was inside me, he made me feel more like a woman than I have ever felt before in my life. He was adventurous too and that was very new and exciting.
Michael: What do you mean by “adventurous”?
Carol Ann: Well, DeMarcus enjoyed restraining me and took great pleasure in spanking my bottom. Sometimes he would even take off his belt and whip me with it.
Michael: Sounds like you really enjoyed being handled this way?
Carol Ann: Oh god, yes! Sometimes I would wince or even cry but it was always connected to pleasure. I felt like I deserved it. As amazing as DeMarcus made feel, it wasn’t a guilt-free experience. I never went into my marriage thinking I would be an unfaithful wife. I just felt so neglected, and sexually stifled. My behavior bothered me and I think that is why I enjoyed being spanked. He was punishing me for my wild desires. It made him hot too. I wanted to excite him and be his fantasy woman.
Carol Ann’s enjoyment bondage and discipline as a way to release her guilt so she could more fully enjoy the pleasure ahead is interesting. She also saw herself as fulfilling a fantasy of his – the untouchable, angelic goddess now dominated and submitting to him. I’ll try to shed some light on this perception from the perspective a few black men that have a special fondness for interracial sex in future interviews.
Michael: Has you husband ever spanked you?
Carol Ann: Oh heavens no, the thought of spanking me has probably never even remotely entered his thoughts. It would be a dream come true to have my husband spank me.
Michael: Why do you think your husband doesn’t spank you while DeMarcus loves it?
Carol Ann: My husband handles me like I’m a delicate flower. Even when have sex (which is rare), he is so gentle and passive. I just wish he would be more of man and take what he wants. I want him to be sexual and have fire in his loins for me. Spank my bottom and take me like a man!
I referenced this several times in part I of this interview, but the cognitive dissonance found in the Hestia vs. Aphrodite archetypes is so very real and still present in our minds today. Women struggle with the good girl – naughty girl constructs. Men also struggle with this as we seek a life partner. Finding balance is an ever-present challenge in relationships.
Michael: So, your enjoyment from spanking isn’t just about releasing guilt because you would also enjoy it from your husband? It sounds like it is also a bit about feeling sexually desired and wanting to have the sensation of being ravaged by your lover?
Carol Ann: Yes, I guess that is true. I hadn’t thought about it that way.
Michael: How did that first spanking with DeMarcus come about?
Carol Ann: He was taking me from behind and spanked my bottom. God, it made me so hot! I started pushing onto him harder and taking him deeper. The more he spanked me, the wilder I became. It made me release so hard!
Michael: You liked this strong, dominating male presence…a real alpha male having his way with you. Would he also say naughty things while he was handling you this way?
Carol Ann: Yes, he often taunted me while spanking my bottom. He would call me names and make me say shameful things.
Michael: What type of things would he say to you?
Carol Ann: Things would get pretty heady at times and I wasn’t always sure if what he said was for his enjoyment or mine. He liked calling me his black cock slut, cum slut, and such filthy things. He would tell me that he was going to bring his friends over to gang-bang my little white pussy. He liked hearing me say things too. I would tell him that I was his white woman, that I loved his big black cock, how he owned my white pussy. Like I said before, I would have done anything to please him and if he wanted to share me with his friends, I told him I would do it.
Michael: Did all of this talk add to your arousal?
Carol Ann: Yes, very much so!
This is relatively common behavior within the fetish of interracial sex. Word play and/or erotic humiliation in the form of verbal/mental sadomasochism are often present. In the black male scenario, he more typically takes on the dominant role (Black Bull) and the female is submissive. However, these roles are sometimes reversed. Carol Ann is also having a Dionysian experience fueled by inversion. In her day-to-day life she wears a projection of angelic purity cast upon her by others. Her husband wants the prim and proper wife, free of lustful desires. She wants sex…hot sex. The pull between these two contrasting states of mind creates and erotic tempest for Carol Ann. Inversion and contrast are psychological forces the ancient Greeks associated with Dionysus.
Michael: This is some rather charged erotic dialogue between you and DeMarcus. You aren’t alone in your enjoyment of this and have no need to feel uncomfortable about it with me. Did the thought of having his friends join excite you even more?
Carol Ann: Oh yes, in those moments where he was dominating me, the thought of being sexually ravaged by his friends took my sexual excitement to an even higher level. The thought of them using me to satisfy their majestic cocks makes me weak even now when I think about it.
The multiple-male fantasy appears on practically every list of top female fantasies. Women may not tell their lover this, but it shows strongly in anonymous surveys. Like most fantasies, it falls on a spectrum of behaviors. One one side, there is the strong sexual goddess desired and pleased by many men as she quenches her desire and theirs. On the other edge of the spectrum is something I think of us as the “Fuck Doll” fantasy. The woman desires to be submissive, sometimes humiliated, and “used” by the men for their sexual gratification. In other words, she wants them to treat her like their own personal fuck doll. An element of exhibitionism may also run through this spectrum.
Michael: You felt a sense of taboo excitement with DeMarcus alone so I can see how the thought of having several men at once takes it to another level. Did DeMarcus ever provide you with this multiple-male experience?
Carol Ann: Yes, eventually he did invite several of his friends over and it became a regular part of our get togethers. The presence of these dark, fit men with very large cocks was nothing less than intoxicating. To see them all so strong and hard for me made me feel so desired.
Michael: Is there a particular memory from one of these moments that still excites you today?
Carol Ann: Hmmm, I have a lot of exciting memories. I liked having one of them between my legs…inside me…as another pushed his heavy cock in my mouth and forced me to perform oral sex on him. DeMarcus, would grab my hair and force me to take his friends deeper into my mouth while verbally demeaning me for my slutty behavior. At other times, he would pull on my nipples and slap my breasts around while calling me names.
Michael: You come across as so thoughtful and polished. This is quite a scene to imagine a woman like yourself being immersed in. Because it happened multiple times, is it safe to assume you enjoyed these moments and being treated this way?
Carol Ann: Oh god yes, I loved it! I’m getting excited all over again just sharing these memories.
Michael: As you are with these men, how would these sexual sessions end? Give me a sense of where the men orgasmed and how it was as the men or you left the room when it was over.
Carol Ann: You are asking some really intimate and detailed questions. I’m thinking you are really enjoying this?
Michael: Ha! I do have scholarly reasons for the questions I ask. But, yes, your story is definitely turning me on.
Carol Ann: Good, it is exciting me to share this with you too. I may have an exhibitionist streak. How would it end? The men would each take turns between my legs. One after the other, their strong, thick cocks would fill me with their wonderful sperm. It felt so amazing to bring these men to orgasm and feel them releasing inside me. With each successive entry, the accumulation of semen between my legs only enhanced the sexual energy for all of us. Sometimes the men would have a second or third orgasm and would finish in my mouth on my chest. They seemed though to prefer coming inside me.
Michael: You sure have a way with creating visuals. Amazing! Such a hot scene to imagine these men, one after the other, releasing inside you and all over you.
There is some compelling literature on a subject called “Sperm Wars” that explains how the presence of other men ejaculating inside a woman generates a biological drive in other men for increased sperm production and the capacity for multiple orgasms in an effort to compete. This can certainly enhance the sexual energy in the room. To read more on this topic, please check out – Sperm Wars: Seeding Passion’s Flame.
Michael: So you are laying there with the sperm of several dripping out of you and all over your chest and face. How did these interludes actually end? What was the afterglow like?
Carol Ann: It was always very pleasant. DeMarcus’s friends enjoyed laying around and caressing me as we talked and laughed. I would always get warm wash clothes and clean them up as they rested, ensured they had some water, and pampered them. I was probably being too motherly, but I appreciated what they had done for me and wanted to pamper them a little. One by one, they would eventually get dressed, kiss me goodbye, and leave. They were rough during sex sometimes but were all really nice young men. DeMarcus and I would then have some alone time and usually had sex again. He liked being the last man to empty himself inside me. As I left, I always felt so desired and sexually fulfilled.
Michael: The quiet period after the sex is interesting. It seems to have been a very comforting, nurturing, and friendly space. How did you feel when you went home?
Carol Ann: I would freshen up before heading home just in case my husband was home early and shower again if he wasn’t there yet. My husband would usually arrive a couple hours later and, as usual, would ignore me all night. All the while, I am sitting near his side feeling so very alive, sexy, and satisfied with the sperm of multiple men inside me.
Michael: This feeling of sitting close to him with the sperm of other men inside you pushes a button doesn’t it? What does it mean to you?
Carol Ann: It is hard describe how this felt. He denies my sexuality and ignores my needs so it is sort of like giving him the finger I guess. It isn’t just him though. It is everyone that has tried to control my life and define my sexuality. They told me that black men are over-sexed and have the largest sexual organs. Thank you, that is exactly what I needed!
Michael: Carol Ann, I think this is a perfect statement to wrap this up. I want to thank you for your time and openness. Real-life experiences like yours help bring sexual psychology to life and in a way that is also very erotic too. I hope that as you go back to read and reflect on our discussion, you will have a greater sense of what drives your sexuality. You have also helped me and hopefully many others take a step forward in understanding the psychology behind this fantasy. You are beautiful, sexy, and vibrant woman. It has been a privilege ~ Michael
Carol Ann: Thank you, Michael. This was fun and has already been very eye opening. I’m looking forward to reading your finished work. Please do stay in touch! Affectionately – Carol Ann
Carol Ann continues to seek black men for sexual fulfillment and remains married.
There are so many women that feel emotionally and physically neglected by their lovers. They struggle with the archetypes of Hestia – Aphrodite. How does a woman tap into and release the fullness of her sexuality against the backdrop of being told sex is wrong or dirty. Men also struggle with conflicting desires about how we want our ideal lover to behave and even how we should behave sexually. We have this angelic archetype that resides in our psyche but also have darker desires that long to be expressed.
How does interracial sex (as a kink) play into this? I admittedly have a lot of work to do on this topic. I know it is popular, but why? Carol Ann provided some interesting anecdotes that I will reference in future writings along with those from of other women and men as I work to map out the psychological underpinnings of The Black Mystique.
In this course of discovery, I will discuss some of the commonly cited attractions (e.g., taboo, color contrast, power/status play, liberation, the modern “mythology” around size and sexual prowess, erotic humiliation, etc. But, I believe there is something deeper that calls to those of us aroused by this kink. It is the modern-day projection and release of an ancient psychological force that has been repressed. Identifying it will entail traveling through a psychological labyrinth extending thousands upon thousands of years.
- Cuckold Psychology: The Essentials – Links and brief descriptions to a series of posts exploring the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy
- Sensual Shadows – Chronology & Links – Sensual Shadows is a true story about my loving erotic journey with Sienna that included interracial sex and cuckolding. This index includes links and brief descriptions to our true stories.
- Cuckold Corner: The Interviews – Cuckold Corner is an ongoing series of interviews with men and women who enjoy/fantasize about cuckolding. This index provides links to and brief descriptions about the different interviews.