The Cuckold Corner is a ongoing series devoted to discussions with others who are curious about the sexual kink known as cuckolding. My goal is to help them (and others) think through the fantasy, uncover their erotic hot buttons, and share my own personal experience with this increasingly popular kink. In this edition, I speak with Amanda who is a single, 30-something woman interested in learning more about cuckolding.
Michael – I noticed it was a digital art piece featuring a black man and white woman that first caught your attention on my blog. Do you think it is interracial sex or cuckolding that most captures your imagination?
Amanda – It seems like they both go hand in hand these days, and I’m kind of curious about both together. I can understand why a woman might enjoy cuckolding – she gets to have sex with other men and that could be exciting. But, I don’t quite understand why some men get excited thinking of their wife or girlfriend being taken by other men in general and black men in particular.
Michael – Cuckolding does seem does seem like irrational male behavior but that is the nature of kinks. I can’t answer “why” in one or two lines because it is far too complex and varies from person to person. However, I have written extensively about the psychology of cuckolding and these posts provide a nice foundation. (You can find those posts here: Cuckold Psychology: The Essentials.
Amanda – I’ve read your writings but want to understand this better. I find you intriguing and want you to be my teacher.
Michael – You are very kind, thank you. This is a big topic and we need to break this down one layer at a time. Let’s begin with the interracial allure – the black mystique – you seem to have. You find yourself thinking about sex with black men, right?
Amanda – Yes, I think black men are attractive. Maybe it’s a natural response for a woman to be attracted to muscular black men?
Michael – What do you mean by “a natural response”?
Amanda – We all know the rumors about black men being large and, while we may not act on it, most of us are curious. They just seem to have an aura of sexuality around them too. Maybe it’s the sexual confidence that comes with having a large cock?
This is one of several insights Amanda will make on the sexual mystique of black men to some women. The positive sexual stereotype of black men being more endowed and perhaps better in bed is alive and well in popular culture and enticing for some women. True or not, personal desire or not, this notion exists in our sexual mythology. I explore this in more depth in mini series called The Black Mystique – Presence.
Michael – Can you dig a little deeper and tell me more about this desire for black men that you and your friends seem to share but are hesitant to act on?
Amanda – I don’t know why this attraction exists for many of us, but it is there.
Amanda – Maybe it is something in our genes that attracts us to idea of a physically superior man? What I do know is that I find myself thinking more and more about what it would be like to be with a man that had a giant cock and balls. In my fantasies, these men are always black. I’m sure there are well-endowed white men out there too so I don’t know why my fantasy always involves a black man. It must be something more…maybe an old taboo that this kink taps into?
Michael – I agree that there may still be taboo aspects of interracial sex in play for “some” cuckold couples and for the black men that enjoy fucking the wives/girlfriends. Interestingly though, I don’t think this is because they personally believe it is wrong. I believe they like it because parts of our society may still see it as wrong. These kinksters are having a great time and building intimate friendships while, at the same time, thumbing their nose at anyone who believes interracial sex is wrong. At best, the taboo aspect is only a fraction of the allure because even as the perception of it being taboo fades, the popularity of interracial cuckolding is increasing. Clearly, there is more at play that is driving this fantasy new heights of popularity. I’m thinking through this “something else” and will share it in an upcoming series called the Black Mystique.
Amanda – You are giving this a lot of thought. I like that about your writings. Your mind fascinates me and makes me have such crazy thoughts!
Michael – Mmmm, I like to inspire your wild, naughty thoughts and find you fascinating as well. So, I’m sure you’ve had opportunities to be with black men, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve acted on them?
Amanda – I’ve had offers but haven’t had sex with a black man…yet. Let me tell you, in my experience black men are different than white guys. White guys are more subtle…even flaky sometimes. You just don’t know where you stand or if you are desired. Black guys put it out there. They don’t want to play games or have romantic hangups, they just want to fuck. They come across as more confident and direct so you know where you stand. It makes a woman feel like a woman.
This is an interesting perspective from one woman and may not be generalizable to the larger population but it does fall in line with perceptions of black men having a stronger sexual presence – the black mystique. There is a deeper layer to this too. We have well established (eroding as it may be) traditions in our culture about how men are supposed to behave as a “gentleman” towards a “lady”. It is a sign of respect and admiration. The concept of a woman who prefers to be approached in a direct way about sex isn’t something well ingrained in the mind of men trying to adhere to what remains of chivalry and Puritan ideals. And, for some men, being anything other than gentlemanly is not something they personally find desirable. These men may want a woman that somewhat aspires to being a “lady” and not so blatantly sexual. I explore the psychology of chivalry on our relationships in Courtly Love.
Michael – You seem very sexy so I’m not surprised you’ve had plenty of opportunities to indulge your secret desire. When you are hit on in this way, how does it play out for you? Can you share an example?
Amanda – I’ve had several friends (black men) send me photos of their cocks. I have always been curious but never asked them for such photos. The guys are all very sexy with great bodies…and do have very large cocks. It was interesting to have these different men send me similar photos and for all of them to be larger than any cock I have ever experienced before. It sort of validated my thoughts.
Michael – That was a pretty assertive move on their part. I guess this gets to the point you made earlier about their directness and also validated your thoughts around cock size. As you were looking at photos, how did you feel? Did you find yourself getting aroused?
Amanda – Yes, it was very exciting! I guess I’d been a little flirty so maybe it made them even more forward with me. A couple of them have had threesomes with white girls so maybe they think all of us are secretly lusting after their big cocks? I’m really not interested in casual sex and certainly not a threesome, but I did like looking at them. It sort of added more fuel to the fire, you know?
Amanda – What about you as a cuckold? Does it excite you to see a large black cock?
Michael – I don’t consider myself bi-sexual so looking at men in isolation doesn’t arouse me. What does excite me though is how it sets the stage for cuckold play and erotic humiliation. I imagine my lover being excited by the sight of a large black cock, how much she would enjoy feeling that larger cock inside her, and the contrast she would feel compared to my smaller cock. I find all of that to be super arousing.
Amanda – Oh, I’m glad you brought cuckolding into the discussion. I have so many questions! Cuckolding feels like such a sexy kink to me, but I doubt I could do it to a man in real life.
Michael – Interesting that you say couldn’t do it “to” a man. Your man (if he is into it) will like it as much and possibly even more than you do. While you might enjoy having sex with another man, he will view this as you doing it “for” him” or “with” him and satisfying his greatest fantasy, not “to” him.
At this point in our discussion we pivot away from the black mystique and focus more specifically on cuckolding. My discussion with Amanda spans several sessions and include topics such as small penis teasing, cuckolding, Femdom, erotic humiliation, exhibitionism, and wife breeding. When posted, you will be able to find those interviews and others here: Cuckold Corner.