This story is undergoing an edit to improved readability.
Three nights ago I saw Sienna cry for the first time and remember it so vividly. Our night had been filled with passion and, even more special, some really intense slow love making. You know, the kind where you look into one another’s eyes and see their soul…the type of gaze where you see the universe unfolding before your own eyes. To hold that kind of contact while I’m moving slow and coming hard is a divine experience. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!
I had gone to the bathroom to get a washcloth and when I returned, her precious eyes were glassy and tears were streaming down her cheeks. I immediately rushed to her and held her close. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I could sense what she was feeling. Instead of talking, I just held her tight. I feel the same pain.
Her breathing was desperate and she clutched onto me so tightly. I teared up with her. Words would have only been superficial at this moment.
I had been holding it in so deep for months. It was my true inner sadness and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. The pain and tears were about gaps of loss and time without you. I want to spend so much more time with you and give you more…all of me. I want US to be in full bloom, always!!! The way you held me and how I melted into you was just so perfect and heartfelt. I Love You! – Sienna
I am in my car when a golden shimmer on the leather passenger seat catches my eye. It is a long, blonde hair…a little treasure Sienna left behind. I pick it up and look at it closely as it rests in my palm. I laugh at myself because I am so enamored with this woman. Still, I hang onto the strand. Even the touch of her fallen hair seems to whisk me away into dreamland.
I gently rest it against my jeans…the contrast illuminates her golden strand. I move it around while thinking about her and, without planning it, eventually form it into a heart shape. Damn, saying goodbye at the airport had been tough. After dropping her off, I watched her walking inside the terminal. I wanted to hop out my car and run inside for just one more kiss…to look into her eyes and glimpse heaven one more time. There was a lot of sadness in that moment, but there is beauty in that pain.
Yes, passion and pain are two sides of the same coin. If there wasn’t this feeling of such magnitude and depth, our time together wouldn’t be so amazing and it wouldn’t hurt so bad to say goodbye!!! I’m sorry I was sobbing as we said goodbye. It only gets harder and harder to leave you! I hate those days when I’m leaving. Every minute is torture because I know I will miss you so damn much! Baby!!!! Stomping!!! I want to dream with you, love you, live with you…spend every moment with you❤😘❤😘❤ – Sienna
This visit had been a very emotional and deeply connecting time for us. Sienna shared some of the hurt she has felt in life by being repeatedly taken for granted and not appreciated for all she gives to others. I assured her that I would never take her for granted and that my greatest desire is that she always feel so loved and cherished. I love this sensual soul and do dream about a future with her. I believe in her. I believe in us.
Sitting here in my car playing with a strand of hair, I am flooded with emotion. What more could a man want from his girl? To know the depth of my love for her and to feel it returned and expressed with such beauty and sensuality. It is magical.
I had spent some time this morning browsing through some video footage we took during the visit and snagged a few screenshots. Flipping through them now, I see one that captures the magic. Her legs are wrapped tight around my hips and her arms are tight around my shoulders…we were truly melting into one. The sensual kisses, pounding hearts, and tears are not visible but they are there…in our sensual shadows.
In the winter of life, we will remember those who touch our soul. That flame is eternal, and I will always melt with you. Always.
Sensual Shadows – The chronology, brief story descriptions, and links for my loving, erotic journey with Sienna.