Exhibitionism is commonly listed among the top-ten fantasies for men, women, and couples. It is certainly one of mine. My cursory exploration of this kink revealed psychological underpinnings that ranged from playful, non-threatening behavior to more serious disorders that impair a person’s ability to function normally in society. This post (and my interest) focuses on playful, non-threatening exhibitionism.
Many of us may have a bit of an exhibitionist streak running through us. This doesn’t necessarily mean you want to put on a trench coat and wait for the perfect moment to expose yourself to a room full of unsuspecting people. It can be much more subtle. Ladies, perhaps you’ve worn something that accentuates your sexy curves, reveals a bit of cleavage, or is in someway more revealing than you might wear in your day-to-day life.
Considering my photo above, there are circumstances where I could be wearing far less and it would be seen as more socially acceptable. If I were at the beach, shooting hoops at the park with no shirt on, or at the pool getting in a swimming workout; I would be revealing much more than is shown in this photo. Yet, this image on WordPress feels a bit provocative with a flair of exhibitionism attached to it based on the circumstance.
Wearing our clothes in a revealing way is one form of exhibitionism. On another level, individuals experience exhibitionism through nudity and self-pleasuring or as a couple through nudity and sex when others may be watching. Do you find yourself aroused thinking about being intimate with your lover in a public space where you may be seen or “caught”? This is one of the most common fantasies couples have and the one most often made a reality.
What is it about being potentially caught in the act that’s such a turn-on? Some psychologists theorize the appeal of exhibitionism may be strongly related to our first youthful orgasmic experiences (alone and/or with your childhood sweetheart) and the fear of being caught. If you think about the first time you masturbated, had sex in a car, or sex in your parent’s home; you probably had at least some angst around your parents, siblings, friends, or even the police catching you. The association of sexual release and being caught often form a powerful link within us at an early age. Exhibitionism taps into this link formed in our teens.
On a more somber note, studies have also shown that emotional abuse in childhood and/or family dysfunction are significant risk factors in the development of exhibitionism. You see, exhibitionism isn’t always about the thrill of getting caught or being seen. For some, it may have a more painful origin. It can be that a man or woman is seeking some form of validation and appreciation that was absent during childhood.
I see my exhibitionism as playful and coming from a happy place. However, I can’t summarily dismiss my mother’s suicide (discussed in the Origin – Shadow post) as a contributing factor.
For others, the thrill of exhibitionism is grounded in power. A man may feel a sense of power when he sends (prematurely) a “cock shot” or “dick pic” in a text or email to a woman. Many (but not all) women find this distasteful. Personally, I’m amazed at the high percentage of men using cock shots as their main profile photo on adult websites despite the swelling number of requests from women not to do so. I’ve even see a few on WordPress.
Not surprisingly, there aren’t a lot of comments on those photos. A lack of artistic presentation and absence of context may be contributing factors. Women, though less frequently, also use exhibitionism to elicit the sensation of power. All of this said, power can be a driver but is not the only driver behind exhibitionism.
Some exhibitionist find great pleasure in the potential for arousing the viewer. Sex with the viewer isn’t necessarily the objective. Rather, the exhibitionist finds it hot knowing that someone may not only be watching but also getting turned on. This aspect resonates deeply within me and makes up a big part of what I often refer to as the “erotic swirl” and “mind fuck” in my writing.
Since the majority of my posts come from personal experiences, I am being a bit of an exhibitionist in sharing them with you along with the accompanying digital art. Moreover, I typically write them in the present tense so you have the sensation of being in the room as a voyeur as the moment unfolds. I want you to feel it…I want to turn you on. Your excitement turns me on and we both become immersed in an erotic swirl.
I’ve come to appreciate the erotic swirl as one aspect of the Dionysian experience. The above render depicts how I see and feel it. One hand is turned down to touch and release the darkness sometimes associated with sexuality and the exploration of fetishes. The other is stretched upwards towards light and love. The archetypal force of Dionysus seeks to unify the powerful forces of light and darkness. Dionysus (as an archetype) is not light or darkness…he is both. Fully realized, the archetype of Dionysus represents transcendent ecstasy.
Beyond my current approach to sharing digital art and recounting past experiences, I would find immense pleasure in creating naughty videos and putting them on this blog to share with you. My vision would be erotic (rather than pornographic) with rising action that might include a slow strip which ultimately leads to creamy finale…as you watched. Sure, the exhibitionist in me would enjoy this. However, my ultimate excitement and gratification would be found in your enjoyment and your own orgasmic release.
This post serves as a launching point for future stories with robust roots buried deep in exhibitionism and will be updated as I make new discoveries. In the mean time, I’m going to innocently take a seat across from you and take care of few emails. I hope you don’t mind.