When trying to explain something that is confusing, analogies are sometimes useful. As I explore my own, at times confusing, cuckold fantasy and discuss this kink with others, I find it helpful to think about cuckolding as erotic theatre with several acts and roles to be played. And, contrary to common portrayals, the cuckold is more often than not running the show. He is the playwright and director of the erotic theatre playing out before his eyes.
Before we (the cuckold) can even begin to stage this erotic theatre and live our most arousing fantasy, we must first win the love of a woman. This realization, while seemingly obvious, is the biggest difference I see between men who actually experience the fantasy and those that can’t seem to escape the fantasy realm. Those stuck in the fantasy realm often have extreme fantasies and cast themselves as “pathetic” excuses for a man and completely unworthy of a woman’s affections. Think about it. If a man presents himself in a “pathetic” manner, what woman is actually going to fall in love with him in the first place? If a man doesn’t have a lover, he can’t be cuckolded.
Once we have a lover in real life, cuckolding as sexual play and fantasy exploration can take flight. Thinking about cuckolding as erotic theatre, there are a few distinct “Acts” to move through with each offering unique pleasure for the couple.
Act I represents the establishment of the fantasy. Revealing the fantasy to your lover can be a very intimate, vulnerable, and extremely arousing moment. It may extend over a period of time where she slowly becomes more and more excited about the possibilities and include extended periods of fantasy play. Some couples may choose to stop here.
Act II is the transition from fantasy to reality. It includes the initial search where the couple is actually looking for another man. And, once another man is identified, Act II includes the erotic buildup with that man (sometimes referred to as the Bull). The sharing of texts, emails, and photos between the wife/girlfriend and Bull can be a very hot phase of the journey for the cuckold. In turn, this can fuel a lot of passion in the couples relationship over the days and even months of build up.
Act III is the actual experience and there is no doubt that it is hot to be in the moment as your lover is cuckolding you. The realization that Act III is coming makes Act II that much hotter. The reality of Act III makes Act IV possible. Act IV, of course, is the fun the couple has in the erotic afterglow of the cuckolding experience as they share hot memories and work each other up into a passionate frenzy. The sexual energy released in Act IV can extend for months.
As hot as the actual cuckold experience (Act III) is, I’m not sure there is consensus that it is THE hottest moment. Some cuckolds enjoy the buildup (Act II) and anticipation even more. Others enjoy the afterglow (Act IV). You have probably noticed that many cuckolds seem to enjoy taking photos and video tapping their wife/girlfriend being fucked by another man. While the woman is experiencing physical pleasure in the moment, her cuckold is capturing images and memories for them both to enjoy in the afterglow (Act IV).
Having been cuckolded by several women, I have found that editing the images, watching the videos, and hearing my lover reminiscing and sharing details about what she liked is actually the hottest part of the journey for me. As a “thinker” personality, it makes me crazy hot to absorb the details of the experience which are often missed in the erotic whirlwind of the moment. It actually gets more delicious with time…much like the aging of wine.
I suspect the phases or “Acts” of cuckolding seem like a reasonable way to think about discuss the cuckolding journey. What about my assertion that the cuckold is actually the director…the one that truly holds the power in this erotic theatre? This seems impossible, right? Cuckolds are powerless and weak. Not so fast. There is a little secret in cuckolding that no one talks about because it detracts from the fantasy. Men who fantasize about cuckolding often don’t want to admit to knowing this secret or may not even be aware that it exists. Men who have experienced cuckolding know about this secret but don’t discuss it because it may detract from the fantasy. The little secret is that in cuckolding (as a sexual fetish) it is the cuckold that actually holds the power.
The reality of the power dynamic flowing through cuckolding is rarely spoken about because it undermines the sexual fantasy where the man is typically seen as more submissive (not always the case though). The cuckold willingly surrenders his status as his lover’s only man because it is exciting. If it wasn’t exciting, he wouldn’t do it. The pleasure of another man is a gift to his lover. His lover accepts this gift and, in return, gives her boyfriend/husband sexual pleasure by cuckolding him.
This aspect of the power flow is completely neglected in cuckold erotic literature and videos. It is neglected because it has to be…it takes away from the fantasy…from the performance. Cuckolding is an erotic dance between the cuckold and his lover that enhances their relationship. The experience is about the man and woman as a couple, not the Bull. In a loving, sexually adventurous relationship, the ultimate intent of any sexual exploration is about enhancing the couple’s relationship.
I’ve been advancing the analogy of cuckolding as erotic theatre. In this play, there are also actors. The cuckold couple and Bull are all playing roles and working together to create the erotic play. The cuckold (director) sets the stage for his lover (cuckoldress, Hotwife) and the other man (Bull) to act out their roles in the sexual role-play but will only do so if it is hot for cuckold. Think about it. As an erotic fetish, cuckolding’s very existence is predicated on the cuckold getting sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is part of the definition. To believe the cuckold is powerless, not enjoying himself, or enduring against his will is to be truly lost in a fantasy world.
A former lover of mine, Sienna, once shared some thoughtful perspective on this topic in the afterglow of our first cuckold experience:
I was watching the video segment where you are reclaiming me after Jalen had fucked me and came yet again in my swollen and stretched little white pussy. You give Jalen the camera as you have your way with me. You are fucking me from behind very intensely and are so ready to explode after watching me take load after load of thick cream from Jalen’s BBC. In that moment, we are both so hot for each other and you will have the last release into YOUR girl! As soon as you finish, you take control of the camera.
Free of the camera, Jalen immediately hovers over me. His huge black hands envelope and contrast wildly against my white ass. Not only is he squeezing my ass and massaging my pussy, but he enters me with his fingers and massages out your cum. Seeing that on the video was so naughty and made me dripping wet and wanting you!!!! I wanted to jump into the scene again and take Jalen’s fingers, coated with your thick cum, into my mouth and suck each finger one by one!
There is also a very telling statement at the end of this clip. His hands, which cover my entire white ass, are squeezing my buns. Then, he slaps my ass gently followed by increasingly firmer smacks in a dominant Alpha way! I found this to be very interesting. I watched it several times and made a few observations which hold up to my earlier gut reactions. For you sweetheart, the power is in the camera and video recorder. You immediately cum HARD and then resume the control of the footage. This control means something to you…you are like the conductor or producer of the naughty scene unfolding before you. I know and understand it now.
This says a lot to me:
- You are the one that is completely in control and comfortable with US! You exert your power through the camera and video recorder. You cum HARD and immediately resume the control of the camera. You are a conductor orchestrating the symphony of pleasure—mine and yours (and his). Without you, it doesn’t happen.
- In the security of us, you don’t have to make a dominant move to show your ownership of me. No matter how big his cock is or how well he fucked me, it would never be enough to take me from you–I am YOURS!!!!
- Watching me with Jalen pushes your emotions, but it is steamy hot within the context of our fantasy. While our emotional experience in scene is shared, I have a more physical experience and yours is more cerebral. As good as the physical is for me, I know you are experiencing an equally if not even more exhilarating mind fuck. You take great pleasure orchestrating the flow and capturing the details for us to enjoy over and over again long after the Black Bull has completed his stud service.
- Jalen makes a dominant Alpha move at the end and takes great pleasure in squeezing and spanking the ass of a white girl he just fucked—AMAZINGLY, I might add! Yet, you are my completely confident man and comfortable with US. There is no need for this type of action on your part. Your absolute confidence that I am yours is like a reverse “mind fuck” for you on Jalen and that turns me on even more!
Hopefully you understand my observation and I’m not too “out there” on this! 😘😊❤️💏🔥 Mmmm, I ❤️you and your little white cock!!! 😘😊❤️🔥💏💋💋💋💋🐓
I loved Sienna’s description of this. It tapped into many of the layers around our shared fantasy and how we actually experienced it. Because I was there and in control, Sienna felt emotionally and physically safe. She was able to relax and savor the erotic pleasure of being taken by a well-hung black man. Jalen fulfilled his physical role in our fantasy, Sienna fulfilled her role, and I fulfilled mine. Through the entire sexual play from Act II through Act IV, there was never any doubt about who she loved and who she would be going home with when the “show” was over.
Interested in reading more about cuckolding to include my personal experiences? You can find all of my cuckold content here – Cuckolding