My primary charter for the Dionysian Experience is a journey towards deeper meaning and self-awareness against the backdrop of my relationships with women. I aspire to learn from my past and build towards a more meaningful and beautiful future. In addition to sharing erotic adventures, I periodically explore the underlying psychology influencing my journey. I try to present my findings in a way where you can reflect on them and assess if they are applicable to your journey. This particular post centers on one of several personality tests I have taken.
We receive a lot of feedback and coaching in life aimed at overcoming or minimizing our weaknesses. Given the amount of feedback we get in corporate America, I imagine many of us may even it find it easier to list our weaknesses or areas for improvement than to list our strengths. However, our real opportunity for self actualization may actually come from investing time and energy in the pursuit of maximizing our strengths.
Full realization of Self demands that we maximize our strengths and place ourselves in situations where our strengths can flourish. Sure, there is some value in reducing a weakness but only if it is relevant and genuinely holding you back. We all have weaknesses but many of those weakness don’t matter and aren’t relevant to our success. In most cases, unless it is really holding you back, don’t worry about weaknesses and instead focus on strengthening and building on what you already do at a high level. A tool that can help you with this approach is called Strengths Finder.
StrengthsFinder is a personality survey that identifies your top-five strengths or themes. Taking this profile test may require purchase of the book, Strength Finder 2.0 to get an access code. Note: I’m in no way affiliated with this book or trying to pimp it for personal gain.
Here is a high-level view of my results:
ACHIEVER: You have a constant need to achieve. There is an internal fire burning inside that pushes you to do more, to achieve more. You live with a constant whisper of discontentment that drives you and keeps you moving towards the next achievement.
LEARNER: You love to learn. Specifically, it is the process of learning rather than the result that is exciting for you. Your subject matter of interest is defined by your other themes and experiences. You are energized by the deliberate journey of acquiring knowledge. You are enticed by the thrill of early fact finding and effort required to practice, internalize, and master what you have learned.
INTELLECTION: You like to think. You enjoy exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions and need time alone for musing and reflection. You are introspective and, in a sense, your own best companion as you pose questions to yourself and try to work out the answers. This mental hum is one of the constants in your life.
RELATOR: This describes your attitude toward relationships. While you may have other themes that cause you to get a thrill from interacting with new people, you are most drawn to people you already know and derive great pleasure and strength from close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once an initial connection is made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, fears, and dreams. You want them to understand yours. For you, a relationship only has value only if it is genuine. This entails sharing and connecting on a deeper level.
INPUT: You are inquisitive and collect things. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it fascinates you. Yours is the kind of mind that finds many things interesting. The world is exciting because of its infinite variety and complexity. Reading adds more information to your archives. Your travel is filled with new discoveries, novel artifacts, and facts. Your collections are categorized and maintained. They interest you and keep your mind fresh.
I’m sure I will revisit these themes and reference on this post in future stories. For now, I can clearly see some patterns in how my “strengths” have influenced my relationships with women.
- Achievement: The orientation is present throughout all areas of my life to include my pursuit of women and the driving aspiration to become a man pursued by women. The inclusion of women in this theme likely comes from reflections described in the Shadows and American Gigolo.
- Learner: Every woman is full of unique magic, secrets mysteries to unfold, and beauty…a journey to truly savor.
- Intellection: I certainly enjoy musing and reflection. Romantic Love: Hearts of Fire is illustrates this desire to dig deeper for meaning. I can also see this play out in how I prefer to share my stories. It isn’t the end that I want to rush to. I relish in the moments, nuances, and buildup leading to that ending. Yumi’s multi-part story is one example. This mental engagement is also a strong influencer in my cuckold fantasy described in Cuckold: Mind Bender
- Relator: I do prefer fewer and deeper relationships. This includes my relationships with women. High volume, superficial, fleeting experiences leave me feeling empty. This isn’t something I was always aware of. I also read this theme and thought about my blogging experience. I would much prefer to have fewer people that comment and engage with me on my journey just as I engage with them on their journey versus more followers that rarely engage or return energy. To me, this makes blogging a meaningful and genuine experience.
- Input: I do have some meaningful collections (music, photos, books, articles, art) and find it very soothing to maintain and enjoy those collections. As this relates to love, I can see that I have also been a collector of love. I have kept many of beautiful letters, cards, emails, and photos from past lover and they are all such very special memories. Strawberry Letter 23 is a great illustration of this.
It was interesting to see this come together and connect a few dots. I don’t think intellection, relator, or input themes are something to distance myself from or reframe as it relates to love. My need for mental stimulation, deep (sensual) relationships, and the sentimentality and romance of input are traits I would value in a lover and see as key elements of consummate love (see Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire for a discussion on the seven types of love).
Learner and achievement themes may require more attention. Moving from woman to woman as romantic love dissipates provides plenty of chances to learn about other woman and feed the need for achievement. But, this is really just failure masquerading as achievement. Collecting love is not like collecting butterflies. No matter how many women fall in love with me, it will never bring my mother back. However, it may have in some way given me a sense of peace in knowing that I am, indeed, worthy of a woman’s love.
Strengths Finder is one of three personality assessments I intend to explore over time. I hope you enjoyed this post and are able to try Strengths Finder for yourself. It validated personal insights I gained from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment and also provided some unique insights.